how do i know if im gay?
The story
So, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. It all started when I was at this work event, right? Just your usual mandatory gathering, some networking and small talk. But there was this one colleague there who I've always thought was cool, but nothing more than that...at least that's what I used to think. During one of the breaks, we ended up talking for quite some time. And I don't know how to explain it, but there was something about the way they laughed or how they listened that just stuck with me.
I've been replaying the whole thing over and over in my mind ever since. It's kind of like... whenever I'm zoning out or daydreaming, my thoughts just drift back to that conversation. I've never really questioned myself like this before; sure, people talk about finding certain traits attractive in anyone regardless of gender, but I'd never imagined actually feeling something like this. Now I'm wondering if I've maybe missed other signs along the way... you know? Like do those moments when I felt butterflies for some reason mean anything?
I guess it's got me thinking a lot about attraction in general and whether there's a specific label for what I'm feeling or if it's even necessary to have one. Part of me feels excited by the idea because it opens up new possibilities and experiences that I hadn't considered before while another part is just plain confused. They say things aren't black and white and maybe that's true here too. Whatever comes from it, there's a hopefulness in knowing I'm figuring things out," love is love" as they say.