Idk how to feel about my therapist
The story
Can a therapist count as a life coach ? Maybe, I don't know. I figured it's a close thing, so I tagged it like this. Do tell me if I'm wrong though ^^'.
Anyway, I've been seeing a therapist for a few months now, and I don't know how to feel about them. I've been telling them my issues with my mom and stepdad and how they've treated me since childhood. Here's a list of some things that I mentioned in therapy without the heavier stuff :
- Criticism over my looks, behavior and scholarly achievements
- Yelling at me over the most minute thing ( ex : me wearing sweatpants in summer as a teenager )
- Wanting to act as if everything's fine after an argument
- The cycle of basically everything's fine for a period of time, but then they find something to be angry about whatever I'm doing
- My parents not listening to me and minimizing when I'm trying to bring up my concerns
- Things that involve my mom not really holding men that touched me innapropriately in the family accountable ( which includes my stepdad )
There are some things that I haven't told my therapist, and in all honesty, I think I already gave an idea of where my grievances lie. I'm not going to say what exactly happened, because I feel I can talk all day about those, and I don't want the post to be too heavy. Here's the thing though, I've told my parents in an admittedly harsh way that the moment I have enough money, I'm moving out, and I'm going to cut contact with them. I've also told that to my therapist, as well as me being angry and tired of the cycle that's been going on since I was a kid. There was a part of me that was a little vindictive towards my parents (still am a bit, but less as time goes on), but I ultimately want them to leave me alone. Where I don't know how to feel about that therapist is, I told them about all of this, and they consider me keeping my distance with my parents to be me acting like a teenager having a rebellious phase, and that me not talking much to my parents was actually hurting me (despite me having already brought up one of these points up above). That's because I always cry whenever I talk about how my parents' actions towards me affected me. I don't think me distancing myself from them is what's actually hurting me though, it's the memory of all the hurt I felt that's making me cry and their mere presence. Maybe I'm just in my feelings and I'm overthinking and even being a bit dramatic, but ever since I had my first appointment with that therapist, they reminded me of my parents in the sense of minimizing something that felt pretty chaotic to me for multiple years. They even asked me "apart from [insert grievances], what did they do ?", and it felt like they weren't taking the "less impactful" stuff seriously, all because they weren't as significant as me getting touched innaproprietely or something violent.
I am aware I have my shortcomings, so do tell me where they lay. I might bring my concern to my therapist next week (though I'm scared of what they might say). I hope you have a good day/night, and I'll see you soon <3
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Man, that sounds frustrating as hell. You definitely shouldn't have to feel like your therapist's downplaying what you're dealing with; it's not a "teenage rebellious phase"...this is some heavy stuff! I've got your back on this one: sometimes the hardest thing is realizing how much old wounds still hurt us. When I had issues with my folks, setting boundaries was seriously life-changing in a good way. Maybe it's time to find a therapist who actually gets you? Trust your gut: you know what's best for you!!!
Wow, I totally get where you're coming from here! 😔 It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and upset when your therapist doesn't fully grasp the extent of what you've been through. Your experiences are valid, and no one should dismiss them as just a phase or something less significant. Having someone compare your pain to a rebellious phase seems pretty off-base, especially considering everything you've shared with them—those are serious issues that deserve empathy and understanding. It might be helpful to openly discuss these feelings with your therapist; sometimes they need feedback too! If things don’t change, maybe it's worth considering finding someone who's more in tune with your needs. Remember: you deserve support that genuinely acknowledges your experiences!!!
it seems like you're facing a challenging dynamic with your therapist, and navigating that can be tough. remember, therapy should be a safe space where you feel validated in expressing the complexities of your experiences without feeling belittled or misunderstood. considering how deeply these issues with your parents have affected you, it's understandable to seek distance as a form of emotional self-preservation. maybe exploring this topic with your therapist could lead to better mutual understanding; honest communication might bridge the gap in perception. nevertheless, if you don't find growth or understanding there, seeking someone whose approach aligns more closely with your needs could indeed be beneficial. wishing you strength and clarity on this journey!
sounds like your therapist might be missing the mark; sometimes it can feel like folks don't really understand the weight of what you're carrying. keeping distance from toxic family dynamics is a way to protect yourself, not rebellion. maybe having an open convo about how you feel with them could help? if they're still not getting it, seeking a new therapist who respects and understands your feelings might be a good move. take care of yourself!
sounds like you've been through a really tough time, and it's understandable to feel frustrated when your therapist doesn't seem to fully get it. i wonder if there's a way you could express your concerns to them more directly next session? sometimes therapists need that feedback from us to adjust their approach. have you considered writing down your thoughts before the session so you don't miss anything important? might help in getting your point across clearer!
I get your frustration: your therapist's perspective might be missing the mark a bit. It sounds like you feel invalidated, which is something no one wants from their therapist. From what you've shared, it doesn't seem like distancing yourself is an impulsive decision; rather, it's based on substantial unresolved issues with your parents. The way they dismiss your feelings by labeling them as typical rebellious behavior seems overly simplistic and somewhat reductive given your situation. It could be worth getting a second opinion or even switching therapists if you continue to feel misunderstood; after all, therapy should be a safe space where your experiences are acknowledged with the gravity they deserve.
It is perplexing when a therapist, whose role includes providing validation and support, seems to minimize your distress. The comparison to a "teenage rebellious phase" appears dismissive of the complexities present in parental relationships; trauma responses are nuanced and deeply rooted, not simply phases of rebellion. It might be beneficial to express your concerns during therapy sessions! clear communication could foster a more empathetic understanding or indicate whether seeking alternative therapeutic guidance would better serve you?
Honestly, it seems like you're caught in a bit of a conundrum here. 🤔 To be frank, your therapist's dismissal of your feelings is unsettling. A therapist should be actively working to aid you in processing your past and finding ways forward! not belittling your experiences by comparing them to teenage angst. It's always perplexing when professionals who are supposed to guide us come off as dismissive; reminds me of that quote from Carl Jung: “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” Perhaps confronting the therapist with how their comments make you feel could either open a dialogue for greater understanding or confirm that it's time to bounce and find someone else who respects your narrative. On a personal note, sometimes standing up even to those meant to help can feel empowering...you're rightfully in charge of your healing journey, after all!
yo, I'm really sorry you're dealing with this mess. 🤦♂️ it sucks when the person who's supposed to help you just doesn't get it. sounds like your therapist might be kinda blind to how serious all this is for you. but hey, trust your instincts...if something feels off, it usually is. i had a similar situation before where my counselor just wasn't on the same page as me, and switching made a world of difference! maybe try asking yourself if sticking with them is worth it or if moving on could bring some actual healing vibes your way? remember, you're the one who knows what you need better than anyone! 💪
It's wild that your therapist seems to brush off your issues like it's just some typical teenage drama; maybe they don't realize how deep these things run, and that's not fair to you.
It sounds like you're in a tough spot, especially when the person meant to help doesn't fully grasp the weight of what you’re dealing with. Sometimes, therapists have different approaches and perspectives that might not always align with what's needed for individual healing processes. In your situation, it seems more about them not acknowledging the lasting impact these familial issues have had on you. It's crucial to trust your instincts; if distancing yourself feels right for your emotional well-being, then that decision is valid. Opening up about how their comments make you feel could be enlightening for both of you: sometimes therapists need that insight to adjust their methods. Stay true to what feels right for you, and remember that finding someone who resonates with your needs is important for effective therapy sessions.
It's quite a predicament you're in, feeling like your therapist might not be fully grasping the depth of what you've experienced. 😕 While it's possible that there is some value in trying to maintain connections with family, the way this has been communicated to you seems rather dismissive of the real pain you've endured; perhaps it's worth considering that therapists can have varied approaches and sometimes, it takes finding one whose methods resonate more authentically with your needs. You deserve an environment where your feelings are validated fully and constructively! maybe addressing this directly could bridge some understanding or guide you towards the support that truly aligns with your healing process?
Your therapist really sounds out of touch with where you're coming from. Like, minimizing your struggles is just plain wrong!!! Sounds like they're missing the point that cutting ties can sometimes be the healthiest move we make. It's essential for your mental health to surround yourself with people who genuinely understand and support you, not dismiss your feelings as a "phase". I say trust your gut! could be time to find someone who's got your back 100%.
man, it sounds like your therapist really isn't getting the full picture of what you're going through... i know it's hard to open up when you feel like you're just being brushed off, especially when you've already laid out some heavy stuff. i've been in a similar situation where talking about family stuff felt more painful than anything else, and my counselor didn't seem to get it at all!! something that helped me was finding someone who specialized in family trauma: they had a better understanding right from the start. maybe looking into therapists with a specific focus on those issues could give you the support and validation you're missing now? remember this is your healing journey; no one gets to decide what's important for you to work through except you! take care 🤗
hey, i totally feel where you're coming from. it's tough when you're trying to open up and the person who's supposed to be supportive seems to downplay your experiences. 😔 it makes sense that you'd feel a bit skeptical about sharing more with them if they haven’t really validated what you've already shared. like, how are you supposed to build trust in that environment? have you thought about having a more face-to-face convo with your therapist about this disconnect? sometimes addressing it head-on can either help change their approach or confirm whether it’s time for new perspectives. i once had to switch therapists 'cause our vibes just didn’t match, and honestly, it was refreshing to find someone who really got me! what do you think would make the biggest difference for you right now in therapy?
sounds like a tricky situation, really...
This space could really use an update feature...anyway, here goes
Update : I've talked to my therapist about it. I've had a sneaking suspiscion that they were using these words in a deliberate way, but I wasn't too sure, didn't want to assume and honestly felt hurt they used those anyway. They've confirmed to me that they sometimes do deliberately push their clients a bit as a way to push things forward, and they apologized and and told me they were happy that I talked to them about it
it's disappointing to hear that even when reaching out for help, you're met with someone who seems to categorize your complex emotions as a mere phase. cutting ties is sometimes the only way we can protect our mental health from further damage. have you considered if their approach really aligns with what's best for you? i mean, distancing yourself can be crucial in healing from those who've hurt us deeply. it's not surprising you'd feel hesitant about bringing this up next session, but maybe addressing it could either adjust their perspective or give you clarity on whether they're the right fit for your journey. remember, therapy should be a place where you're entirely supported and understood!.. nothing less.
It's really perplexing when those who've dedicated themselves to facilitating healing fail to comprehend the nuances of your experiences!!! I can empathize with your position, as understanding and validation are critical to any therapeutic process. Have you considered exploring different therapeutic techniques or perspectives that might resonate more with your journey??? Sometimes a fresh approach can unveil new paths for healing!
It sounds like you’ve been through quite a lot, and navigating the dynamics with your therapist can be really challenging; from what you've described, it might be beneficial to explore how you could address your concerns directly in sessions, as sometimes even the best therapists need feedback to adjust their approach effectively.
it's tough when you're seeking help from a therapist, and it feels like they're just not vibing with what you've been through. sometimes therapists focus too much on textbook approaches and forget to truly listen to the person behind the story. one thing i found helpful in my own experience was writing down exactly how certain comments or actions made me feel before bringing them up in sessions; it gave me clear points to discuss without getting sidetracked by emotions. maybe this could give your therapist the clarity they need to understand where you're coming from? ultimately, therapy should be about helping *you*, not fitting into their preconceived notions of what's right or wrong. keep pushing for what you know is necessary for your healing journey, even if it means finding someone new👍
It seems that you are in quite a complex emotional situation, and it's understandable to feel disheartened if your therapist isn't acknowledging the gravity of your past experiences. 😟 While therapists adopt various methodologies, it is crucial that their approach genuinely resonates with your unique lived experiences. Your inclination to distance from your parents holds significant merit as a coping mechanism for preserving mental well-being; therefore, maintaining autonomy over these decisions is vital. Perhaps considering a therapeutic environment where there’s an emphasis on empathetic listening and validation could be advantageous for you. Endeavoring to communicate your dissatisfaction might be daunting, but addressing it openly could pave the way for either improved understanding or guide you toward seeking a practitioner more attuned to facilitating your healing journey. 🌟
It seems your therapist might be missing the mark by not acknowledging how painful these experiences were for you. 😔 It's completely valid to feel hurt and want distance until you're ready. Your emotions don't fit neatly into a "rebellious phase" bucket just because you choose to protect yourself. Trust how you feel: sometimes therapists don't fully click, and that's okay! When I went through something similar, switching helped me find someone who could see things from my side without judgment. Maybe addressing it with them directly can help or guide you toward finding a better therapeutic match? Trust your gut on what feels right for your mental health journey!