how to deal with rejection?
The story
i dunno how many times i’ve been through this but it always feels like the first time. you meet someone, you get your hopes up, you think maybe this time it’s different, maybe she actually sees something in you—then boom! ghosted or hit with the “you’re nice but…” line. why is it always that?! why do they go on dates if they already not interested?? like, if u don’t want a second date, don’t go on the first one, right? 😑 it’s not like i’m weird or creepy or anything. i just try to be myself, talk, listen, smile—normal stuff. but somehow it never clicks. it’s always one or two dates, then silence. sometimes i even check my texts 20 times a day like an idiot waiting for replies that never come. pathetic. it’s not like i’m expecting a fairytale, but at least some honesty would be nice!
i’m 21, still a virgin, not that it matters but somehow it feels like it does. i know we’re not supposed to care about that anymore but let’s be real, everyone does. when you see everyone around hooking up or having stories to tell, it messes with your brain. it’s not about sex itself but just feeling like you’re part of the world, like you belong. i go on campus and see couples all the time, holding hands, laughing, doing all that couple-y stuff and i wonder if i’ll ever get to do that. i try meeting girls, usually through class groups or during campus events. and at first they seem to like talking to me, we laugh, we text, and i ask them out. we grab coffee or go for a walk, and i think “okay, this is going alright,” but then i get the vibe shift. you know that weird pause between texts, that tone change, and you just know they’re gonna bail soon. and every time it happens, i tell myself maybe i was too nice or too boring or too something. but how do you even fix that if you don’t know what the problem is?;
it’s hard not to internalize it. like yeah, people say “don’t take it personal,” but how can you not? it’s always me getting rejected. logically, i know it's just not a match or whatever but emotionally, it still hits. i’ve even had girls say “you’re sweet but i don’t feel that spark” and that spark word feels like a knife. what even is that spark? am i just incapable of generating it? is it something i’m missing? maybe i’m too slow, or too respectful, maybe girls my age want someone more bold or mysterious or whatever. i don’t even know how to act differently without being fake. and even when i try to be chill about it, pretend i don’t care, it still messes with me later when i’m alone at night overthinking every tiny thing i said or did. i try to stay busy, hit the gym, study, keep social but man it’s exhausting pretending this stuff doesn’t affect me.
so yeah, how do you even deal with this kind of rejection?? how do you stop feeling like you’re constantly not enough? is it supposed to get better or is this just how it goes for some of us? i’m not trying to sound dramatic or anything, just genuinely wondering if anyone else has been through this. not looking for pity either. just tired of feeling stuck in this weird space where you keep trying and hoping, and it keeps leading nowhere. and the worst part is, it makes you start doubting your own worth even when deep down you know you’re a decent guy. just wish i could stop caring so much, but i do. guess that’s the part that sucks the most.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
oh man, really hear you on this. navigating the whole dating scene can legit feel like an endless cycle of build-up and letdown. it's like, what's the point if they’re just looking for that “spark”? 😒 the spark concept feels like such an elusive myth, almost like this unquantifiable thing that you're always falling short of. think we all get hit hard by rejection, even though on some level, we know it's not always personal. keeping that detachment between head and heart isn't easy. people say rejection's just part of the process, but when it keeps happening, it's normal to wonder if there's something fundamentally off in your approach. and you're definitely not alone in feeling like this impacts your self-worth, especially when society piles on pressure about relationships and experiences. so exhausting trying to decipher what that magic ingredient is supposed to be. keep being you, man, and don’t let the doubts take over, even if the doubts make themselves comfy sometimes.
yo, i get where you're coming from, but i think maybe you're overthinking it a bit. not every date is gonna lead to happily ever after, and yeah, it kinda sucks, but that's just how the dating game goes sometimes. 🤷♂️ i've been ghosted a few times too, but sometimes it ain’t about you, you know? people got their own stuff going on, and maybe they’re just not ready for something serious, or they realize it’s not the right fit. i once went out with this girl, though we had a great time, she just wasn’t feeling it the next day. it's frustrating, but i can’t be mad at someone for being honest, even if it’s wrapped in that “you’re nice but…” package. i know it makes you question yourself, but dude, you gotta chill a bit and maybe not stress so much about this spark thing. people say “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be,” and yeah, it sounds cheesy as heck, but sometimes it’s true. keep being you, and eventually, you’ll click with someone who appreciates it.
man, i totally get it!! dating can be such a minefield of emotions, right? why do people even bother if they're just gonna bail?? it's absurd, seriously; happened to me too many times to count. i once went out with this girl, and everything seemed so cool, then bam, silence after the second date. it's ridiculous how people can't just be real; it's like they don't care how they're making others feel. but hey, stay hopeful, mate! there's someone out there who will see all the awesome stuff you got to offer. i believe in that for sure! 😊 just keep doing you and forget about those who can't appreciate it.
dude, i get you're frustrated but maybe chill a bit. not everyone is gonna be into it after a first date, you know? doesn't mean you're not good enough; just not a match. i've had it happen too, thought it was all good and they just vanished. kind of a bummer, but hey, that's life; you meet more people and eventually it'll click with someone. might just need to shift your mindset a bit, keep things light and not stress over each date too much. stay positive, stay open, and things'll work out eventually; no need to overthink every little thing. 👍
couldn't agree more with what you're saying, man. it's like, why bother going on a date if you already know you're not feeling it? just leads to unnecessary disappointment. i totally feel that whole "you’re nice but…" line; it honestly seems like a cop-out most times. 🥲 i've been there too, where i thought everything was cool and then just ghost city after a couple dates. it’s like everyone wants that perfect movie moment spark or whatever, and anything less isn’t worth their time. i've wondered too if there's something i'm doing wrong because it’s not like i'm being weird or anything, just being myself. and yeah, trying to shake off those doubts is tough when it keeps happening. if only people were more upfront, it would save everyone so much hassle. it’s tiring, but i guess we keep on keeping on, right?
while i empathize with your situation, perhaps a different perspective could be beneficial. not every date is likely to culminate in a profound connection, and that is perfectly acceptable. it's important to understand that chemistry is often unpredictable; perhaps those you have met are not the right fit. as someone who has navigated similar experiences, i realized the value of staying optimistic and open to new meetings. endeavor to view each date as an opportunity rather than focusing on the outcome. i trust that in time, your genuine qualities will resonate with someone special. remain hopeful and patient, and it will eventually pay off. 😊