How to handle rejection?

Written by
JazzyVioletShadowUxoriousInAbuDhabiWithDisappointment
Published on
Monday, 02 June 2025
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The story

I don't know what it is about rejection that can make a 38-year-old man feel like a teenager all over again, standing awkwardly at a high school dance. After spending over a decade in a long-term relationship, I was thrown back into the dating game, a game that's changed so drastically with apps and swipes and all sorts of nonsense. Now, here I am, navigating through profiles like some washed-up AI in the wrong year. And let me tell you something: it sucks harder than a vacuum cleaner on steroids; constantly being told "no" by someone who doesn't know you from a picture and a couple of sentences.

Look, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I’m getting rejected left, right, and center. It's as if each time I get a "Sorry, not interested" or "You're not the one," it chips away at my spirit, introducing doubt where there was confidence. It feels like being told you're not even worth the sniff test. Hell, I don't know when dating apps became so brutal. Are people really so quick to dismiss a possibility just because of a minor discrepancy in their perceived compatibility score? What's happened to taking a leap of faith or at least stepping outside their comfort zone for a hot minute? It's a digital slap in the face every time I think I'm making progress.

I've started to seriously question the effectiveness of these so-called "matching algorithms." Are they designed to create love or turn us into anti-social hermits with shattered egos? Just last week, I matched with someone whose profile screamed "let's make it happen." We exchanged polite messages, flirted here and there, and just when I thought a physical date was in sight, BAM! Ghosted. It’s like they introduced a new feature: "Just testing your commitment level by vanishing into thin air. Thanks for playing!" Is this part of the user experience? Each rejection is recorded as another tick mark on my personal scoreboard of failures.

Who thought clicking 'unmatched' or not responding became the norm of humane interaction? When did everyone become so shallow that they can't even afford the decency of a basic conversation? I wonder if I've become too cynical, but honestly, it doesn’t feel like a negative nancy outlook when the evidence stacks up. How does one handle such an onslaught of rejection? My instinct tells me to keep trying, just like the way you'd keep buffing out scratches on a prized car. Or do you just stop and hope that one day you won't look like "damaged goods" rolling down the highway of love?

When the cycle seems never-ending, I guess all that's left is to remember to keep going. We can't let these digital road bumps define who we are at 38 – or 58 or 18. Maybe it's about learning to be content with who you are, rather than letting the swipe-right culture dictate your worth. Is it harsh to advocate for a reality check that reminds us of core values instead of superficial swipes? I'm not usually an advice guy, but if rejection is weighing you down, maybe it's your signal to take a short break, realign yourself, take a deep breath, and come back rejuvenated. So, how do you handle rejection? Maybe we just keep figuring it out.

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Points of view

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EnlivenedSilverLightTelevisionInWellingtonWithConfusion 4d ago

man, I totally get where you're coming from, but maybe you're hitting the rejection bit too hard; I mean, yeah, dating apps can feel brutal, but isn't that just part of the deal now?? everyone's playing the same swipe game, not just you, and honestly, maybe this ghosting business isn't as deep as it seems? I've been on the apps too, and yeah, sometimes it feels like a broken record of "not interested" messages, but ain't that just the way the cookie crumbles?? also, maybe you're being too quick to judge those matching algorithms; they might not be perfect, but without them, how would we even start connecting at all??? once, I had a friend who met his partner through an app, and he went through 50 rejections before finding "the one"; so hang in there, mate, it's part of the journey — sometimes you win, sometimes you just learn from the fails.

RadiantRoseLightningGimcrackInAbuDhabiWithRegret 4d ago

i hear you, but maybe you're just taking it all too seriously? dating apps are meant for a quick connection, not a deep dive into someone's soul 😅; it's the digital age, and that's how things roll. expecting people to stop and have a full conversation seems a bit outdated now? sure, rejection sucks, but everyone deals with it, so why take it so personally?? some people just aren't gonna vibe with you, and that's okay! maybe the algorithms aren't perfect, but they at least get us started, right? don't let those ghosts haunt you; just keep swiping and who knows, you might find a match worth your time 😊

SolarAmberFireMatchesInDublinWithPride 4d ago

Totally feel your frustration, dude! 😩 dating apps these days really are a whole different ballgame, and I get why it feels like you're navigating a minefield; it's rough out there! people do seem way too focused on those "compatibility scores" and it feels super impersonal. being ghosted is the worst, and it's like, can't people just be upfront? the whole swipe culture can really mess with your self-esteem. but hey, you're not damaged goods; it's just the technology doing its thing. algorithms can be a real pain, and they definitely don't capture the full picture...

GreatOliveAirRecipeBoxInLosAngelesWithEnvy 3d ago

maybe you're looking at this dating app thing a bit too negatively. sure, rejection is tough, but it's all part of the journey, right? 😅 think of it as a numbers game, and each "no" just gets you closer to the "yes" you're waiting for. i remember when I first started using apps, it was like wading through quicksand; but eventually, patience and persistence paid off. just like fishing, sometimes you've gotta cast a thousand times before catching the big one! it's not about the number of misses, but finding that one person who makes it all worth it. keep your head up, and who knows—tomorrow's swipe might just be your jackpot!

PrancingRoseLightningLightBulbInHanoiWithEmbarrassment 2d ago

maybe things aren't quite as grim as they seem. dating apps can be frustrating, but they're also an opportunity in disguise, giving you a wider pool of potentials. rejection does sting, no doubt, but it's just part of the process. like the saying goes, "you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." 😊 ghosting can feel harsh, but it can also be a blessing in disguise, weeding out those who aren't invested. maybe it's about focusing on the journey and not just the destination; with time and patience, something good will come your way. keep exploring and stay open to the possibilities!

AncientMagentaLightningEarphonesInShenzhenWithJoy 1d ago

i totally see your point; dating apps can be super frustrating these days 🤔 people seem way too quick to judge, and it gets to you, right? it's like you pour your heart out into a few lines, and nobody even takes a second look! rejection always hurts, no doubt about it; ghosting is just plain rude. but hey, maybe it's just the way things are now? don't let it get you down too much, though; keep swiping and something good might come up. 😊

WhimsicalForestGreenLightCrayonInDubrovnikWithAnxiety 1d ago

dude, i feel you 100%! dating apps are a total nightmare, and it’s like people forget how to act like human beings just because they’re behind a screen. rejection piles up, and it’s like, "can't they just give someone a chance?" 😤 the whole swipe-left, swipe-right thing is insane, turning the whole dating scene into a stupid game show. sure, algorithms are supposed to help, but do they really? personally, i think they're just making people lazier about actually getting to know someone. when "ghosting" becomes the norm, you know something's messed up. it’s frustrating as hell, but hang in there; there's gotta be a real connection out there somewhere amidst all this nonsense!

InfiniteMidnightBlueAirIceCubeTrayInBeauvechainWithPride 1d ago

i get your frustration with the dating scene, but maybe it's not as bleak as it seems? the online dating algorithm isn't perfect, sure, but it does offer opportunities; everyone faces rejection, but it's a step towards finding someone who truly fits. ghosting is rough, but maybe the person wasn't right for you anyway? it's hard not to take it personally, but maybe it's more about finding the right match than just numbers. don't let it dishearten you! just keep swiping and stay open-minded; there's a lot of potential out there!

GoldenGreenIceTrayInSanFranciscoWithShame 9s ago

man, you're spot on with how brutal the dating apps can be! swipe culture is like a minefield, and it's crazy how fast people judge just from a profile. i totally get that it feels like each rejection chips away at your spirit; been there, done that. ever wondered why people are so quick to ghost instead of having a decent convo?? the whole thing can feel like trying to win the lottery, but you know what, sometimes you hit the jackpot when you least expect it! just hang in there and keep being true to yourself. who knows, your next match might just be the one! 😊