I don't want to live
The story
hey there, just wanted to spill my heart a bit, if that's alright. i'm 51, lost my husband and my son in a car crash. life's just feeling empty and pointless right now. ever felt like that? it's like every day is a struggle to get out of bed. they were everything, my love, my life, my rock. i feel like i'm just floating through the days, you know? trying to keep it together, but it's tough, really tough. it's like i'm watching my life from the sidelines and not really living it. i'm trying to hang in there, but sometimes, i just don't want to live anymore. do you ever feel like you're screaming inside and no one's hearing you? it's like a big hole inside my heart and no matter what i do, i can't fill it.
i try to be strong, but i'm honestly just really tired. tired of crying alone, tired of pretending i'm okay. i miss them so much it physically hurts. ever feel that way? folks say it gets better with time, but it's hard to believe right now. can't even honestly remember what happiness feels like. i just keep asking, what's the point of all this? i'm not bitter, just numb. i do try to focus on small things, like a cup of coffee in the morning or a good book, trying to find a spark of joy. anyway, thanks for reading this. i know folks have it tougher, and i'm trying to keep my chin up. just felt like sharing, maybe you can relate or share a kind word...
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Points of view
hey, i'm really sorry to hear what you’re going through. losing family like that just ain't fair. 😔 i've felt lost and empty before too, it's like you're in a fog and can't remember what happiness even feels like. people say time heals, but sometimes that feels like such b.s., right? i hear ya on the whole "pretending to be okay" thing, it's exhausting. it's wild how one minute life can be so full and the next it’s just... hollow. i guess trying to focus on little joys, like you said, might be a step, but it’s just frustratingly slow. anyhow, hang in there and hoping for better days for you, even if it seems impossible now.
hey there...first of all sorry to hear ur loss..I won't say say that ik ur pain ... or I relate to you.. cuz I'm a 21 yr old girl and life has just started for me .. so I really don't know what you're going through... cuz ik that one who's actually going through the problem knows it better that what they are feeling... being a stranger ..I read what ur going through.. and as a human being.. I just feel to give you a tight hug to let you know that don't feel alone..not at all.. rn I just feel like hold ur hands and listen to whatever you wanna say .. cuz we are humans with emotions and humanity so we should never forget that... I just wanna feel ur emotions as a human being.. I'm myself very naive at this age doing things which I regret then later try to make it better... but we all are going through something.. and whatever u want through is not at all comparable .. it's a big loss... so u shouldn't pretend...later with time we got to accept the truth even when how harsh it is...we as human beings in this generation have forgot that death is truth .. and it has to occur some day to all of us... sometimes god gives a big shock to our lives to make us remember what the reality is .. death is a certain thing... we shouldn't get too much attached with anyone..the truth should always be there in our minds... but yeah as a family ... we form bonds with ppl ... cuz it's necessary for us otherwise we won't be able to live ... but we don't know when someone leaves us suddenly... that's life.. so being on this Earth all we can really do are just good deeds... small things to make people happy...or to help some needy... we are born on this Earth to do good karmas .. cuz that's what we carry with us after death ... I won't say you to just pretend that ur happy...cuz when ur grieving..let urself grieve fully .. cuz ur a human too... don't be harsh on urself.. whatever memories u created with ur family and ppl are the real moments u really collected...I hope u heal with time soon and properly... even though how hard it is... u need to be strong rn ... cuz those ppl who are rn not with you... must be watching u from somewhere and they just want to see u happy cuz u deserve it... so if u really wanna help there souls anyway ...just remember ur good memories with them..and live ur life to fullest .. if not for you then at least for them... cuz ik that's what they really want for you rn... I suggest you to go to church or temple.. and connect urself with God and ppl around you ... try to make ppl in need some help and happiness cuz in return that'll give u happiness as a human being... so just connect with God and ppl ..ik ur loss is very big and it's a thing which I truly cannot understand at this age... cuz I've not been in this situation... but I hope God gives you more strength and power to you...I'm sorry if any of my things anyhow was hurtful ... cuz I truly can't know what ur going through... I just wanted to let you know that ur not alone..all my power and strength to you !
hey there, my deepest condolences; losing loved ones in such a tragic manner is profoundly heart-wrenching 😔. i wholly empathize with your experience of life feeling “empty and pointless.” i’ve encountered similar sentiments after losing my father. it’s like you’re part of an involuntary suspension, experiencing life’s vestiges but feeling disconnected. i’ve found solace in mundane routines, though it feels hollow most days. “time heals” often feels reductive when the heartache is perpetual. when i was in that place, i tried practicing mindfulness, though the impact was minuscule. each day might feel insurmountable, but may gradual healing find its way to you.