is something wrong with me?
The story
I keep asking myself why things go the way they do, and maybe you can tell me if you see something I don’t. I’m 19, I’m a guy, and every time I get a girlfriend she leaves me after a few days or maybe a couple weeks. It feels like a pattern I can’t break, but I’m trying to stay calm and hopeful about it. I’m not rude or anything like that. I’m polite, I respect women, I listen, and I try not to talk too much about myself. I’m not ugly but not beautiful either, just somewhere in the middle like many people. I’m not rich, not poor. My clothes look fine because my mom picks everything for me, and she actually has good taste even if I feel a bit embarassed about telling people that. The weird thing is I don’t fight with the girls I date. I don’t yell or get angry or act controlling. I try to show kindness. I try to be normal. Yet after a few days they start saying “I feel like something is missing” or “I don’t know what I want right now,” and then they just pull away. I don’t blame them, but it makes me wonder. Is something wrong with me? Or am I just in the wrong place, wrong time, wrong stage of life without noticing it?
Sometimes when I look back at each short relationship, I feel detached, like I’m watching a movie of someone else’s life. I try to be objective. What did I do wrong? Was I too polite? Too quiet? Too available? Maybe I answer messages too quickly. Maybe I say “yes” too often. Or maybe I don’t say enough interesting things. Maybe I’m boring. I don’t know. It’s strange because I like peaceful moments. I like sitting next to someone without forcing words. But I guess a lot of girls my age want excitement or drama or something that keeps the energy high. One girl even told me, “You’re too calm,” like it was a bad thing. I don’t think calm is bad. It helps me think clearly. Still, when someone says that, I start thinking maybe I should be louder or more spontaneous or more chaotic or something like that. But that wouldn’t be me. I don’t want to pretend to be someone else. Maybe the right person will like the calm. Maybe she will like the silence too. I keep telling myself “the right girl will stay,” even if it feels like a quote from some cliché poster on the wall. But sometimes clichés help when your heart is a little confused.
I try to stay positive. I really do. I look forward, not backwards. I keep reminding myself that I’m still young. Nineteen is nothing, right? I haven’t even figured out my own life plan yet. Maybe that’s part of the reason things fall apart fast. Maybe girls my age also don’t know what they want. Maybe everyone is just trying random things to see what feels right. I even looked up some stuff online, and I read somewhere, “Early relationships are practice, not final results.” That made me feel lighter. It was like someone telling me it’s okay to not have everything perfect now. I can accept that. I don’t feel angry at the girls who left. I don’t think they’re bad or mean. I think they’re lost too, the same as me. And even if my relationships were short, at least I tried. At least I opened up a little. At least I cared. And caring is something I don’t want to lose. I would rather be a caring person than someone who pushes feelings away. Even if it hurts a little at the end. Pain fades anyway. Hope stays longer.
So I guess I’m writing this to ask you honestly: is something wrong with me? Or maybe nothing is wrong and life is just doing its weird confusing thing. I’m not perfect, but I don’t feel broken. I don’t feel hopeless. I just feel like a person trying to understand himself while watching people drift in and out of his life. Maybe relationships ending quickly isn’t a sign that I’m unlovable. Maybe it’s just timing. Maybe it’s the age. Maybe it’s just normal and I’m overthinking it. I hope so. I hope things will change slowly, like weather getting warmer after a long cold week. I hope next time I meet someone, things last a little longer. And even if they don’t, I’ll keep going. I’ll keep learning. I’ll keep trying. Life is still long for me, and I want to stay hopeful. So tell me, what do you think? Am I missing something obvious? Or should I just relax, breathe, and trust that it will all make sense someday?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
relationships at your age can be so unpredictable, and it's tough to know what's going on. it sounds like you're doing a lot of things right by being respectful and calm, which are really valuable traits. maybe it's just a matter of finding someone who appreciates those qualities in the long run. sometimes people don’t even know what they want, so try not to overthink it too much. keep being yourself; the right person will come along when timing aligns better. 🤔
you’re overthinking this way too much, man!!!
Honestly, it kinda sounds like you're trying to fit some mold that doesn't feel right for you either; You're calm and respectful, which is awesome, but relationships aren't just about being nice. Maybe it's that middle ground between chill and lively that's hard to find at your age: people are all over the place figuring themselves out too. Could be worth exploring new interests or environments where people vibe more with your laid-back style. Keep doing you, man!
man, this is just too real. you're not the problem; it's like everyone is just figuring their crap out at 19 and no one knows what they want yet; you got a good head on your shoulders, staying calm and all, but maybe some people can't handle that because they're used to drama or whatever 😒. just keep being genuine and don't change yourself for anyone else: people are chaotic, that's life, but they'll come around eventually. 🤷♂️
it seems like you have a strong grasp of who you are and what you value, which is commendable; perhaps the challenge lies not in changing yourself but in finding individuals who share similar values and outlooks on life.
dude, you're definitely not alone in feeling this way; honestly, at 19, everyone's kinda just experimenting and figuring out what they want, including you! maybe it's the calmness that's throwing some people off right now; but trust me, those vibes are refreshing when life gets wild! ever thought about maybe finding groups or hobbies where like-minded people hang out? could be the perfect place to meet someone who appreciates your chill nature; remember, there's no rush!! take it easy and keep being true to yourself; you'll find someone who loves that about you eventually. 😉