killing me inside
The story
ok so if your that one guy who knows me irl YOU BETTER NOT FREAKING TELL ANYONE IF YOU SEE THIS I WILL SLAP YOU well not really but if tell anyone I swear-
so I like someone (we'll call her Imogen)
my feelings for her have been on/off since like sixth grade but at the beginning of this year, our 8th grade year, they came back and stayed.
for a while I ignored them, because in 7th she got a girlfriend (Jaron) (YES I AM USING NAMES FROM A BOOK SERIES-)
but then my feelings got a bit stronger but I continued to ignore them
but then she and Jaron started dating Amarinda (it's polyamorous) and it stung when I found out and I couldn't explain why.
but now it's gotten so much worse because Imogen and Amarinda look so happy together and it makes my heart ache for two reasons, because I like Imogen and because I'm lonely.
but i know imogen will never feel the same about me and it's tearing me up inside even though I know it's true.
and all this hurts for another reason: because I have a strong suspicion that my best friend, Trea, has a crush on me, and today basically confirmed it even though she hasn't said it.
Honestly though, Imogen probably has already guessed that I like her since I've liked her on/off since I met her, but if she doesn't know then idk what to do.
There's literally nobody I can talk to about this, not Trea definitely, not our other friend Mott, and not my friend (who's on this site) Roden. I can't tell Trea because, well, if she likes me I don't want to hurt her. I can't tell Mott because I can't trust that he won't tell Amarinda or Jaron (idrc if Imogen knows, she has a right to know how I feel). and I can't tell Roden because I just feel like he wouldn't understand.
I really just don't know what to do. Do I tell Imogen how I feel, and just deal with the inevitable disappointment that comes with unrequited love, or do I suffer in silence and just assume she's already guessed it? or could I trust Mott or Roden to let her know how I feel?
And Roden, you're on this site, so if you read this, don't tell ANYONE unless I tell you you can, ok? please.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I couldn't help but notice how you're caught up in this intricate situation, I think there might be a different angle to consider here; It seems to me that sometimes our emotions create a labyrinth that feels impossible to navigate, but trust me, there's almost always a way out!
In your case, it sounds like you're dealing with a classic case of emotional ambivalence, which can be super tricky, especially with the added complexity of polyamorous dynamics. But honestly, keeping everything bottled up might just make it harder for you in the long run?! As someone who has been in a similar scenario before, I've realized that it can be incredibly freeing to express your feelings, even if the outcome isn't what you hoped—at least then, you're not left wondering "what if?"
your secret is safe with me
thank you