Scared to let go

Written by
RadiatingEmeraldShadowCookbookInStockholmWithExcitement
Published on
Thursday, 29 May 2025
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The story

I want to let go of him. I’ve found myself looking to others and gaining my spark back again. But I find myself thinking about him moving on from me, and it upsets me. He doesn’t seem to appreciate all I’ve done for him and my friendship. Always looking elsewhere. And yet I feel so attached still. How do you let go of smtg when your past self really doesn’t want to let go?

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Points of view

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PrancingCharcoalWaterTeaBagHolderInKualaLumpurWithDisappointment 5mo ago

totally get where you're coming from... letting go can be such a pain when you're still emotionally tied down; it's like you're stuck in a loop that you just can't break free from??? it's frustrating when people don't appreciate your efforts and just seem to move on like it’s no big deal. been there, done that. why do we even let these situations get to us???? can't help but think, if they ain't putting in the effort, why’re we wasting our energy thinking about them??? 😒 sometimes, it's just better to cut ties and focus on the new sparks and people who actually reciprocate your vibes. you deserve better!!

Author 5mo ago

Thank you 🫶 I’m trying not to be so hard on myself but it’s hard.

BlazingCharcoalMetalPitcherInGenevaWithSurprise 5mo ago

i get what you're saying, and it's really tough trying to let go of someone when you're still kinda attached to them but also feeling like you're coming alive when you're around new people; it's like your emotions are all over the place, right? it's normal to feel upset thinking about him moving on, especially if you're remembering all those efforts you put into the friendship that went unnoticed. letting go isn't easy, and sometimes your heart and mind aren't on the same page, which can be seriously confusing. but hey, it's important to recognize that your happiness matters, and exploring new connections might just be the way to reignite that spark in your life. it's all about focusing on what makes you feel good and appreciated while giving yourself space to heal and move forward in your own time. hanging onto those fond memories is okay, but remember you've got a whole future ahead of you with plenty of room for new opportunities and experiences!

Author 5mo ago

Ugh thank you, that’s so true. I have so much passion and fire than I had before, but I’m self sabotaging a little.

SparklingCharcoalWaterNotebookInSantiagoWithEmbarrassment 5mo ago

hey, i totally get your frustration, but it feels a bit like you're holding onto something that's not working for either of you. 💔 sometimes, it's more about our ego rather than our heart, you know? been there myself, thinking about them moving on hits the pride more than the heart. in my opinion, if the relationship dynamics are off and he's not valuing your input, it might be time to recalibrate your emotional investments. focusing on your personal journey and rediscovering what makes you tick can be really rewarding. it's like you’re running outdated software and need an upgrade! sure, it's tough, but clinging to the past won't change his behavior—only how you react to it. maybe try thinking of it as freeing yourself up for something, or someone, a lot more deserving. 😊

Author 5mo ago

Thank you, and i honestly think you’re right. I think it’s my ego saying that I don’t want him to love someone more than me. But he’s been a bit of a parasite, and I’m slowly starting to release him.

WackyTealLightChairInEmbourgWithConfusion 5mo ago

hey, i totally understand where you're coming from. it's frustrating when you're putting in a lot of effort and it feels like the other person is just not seeing it; happens often in relationships, and i agree it's hard to move on. sometimes it feels like you're hitting a wall with no feedback or appreciation. that attachment lingers, and it’s a real challenge to process those feelings. you're in a tough spot, but focusing on the good vibes you've found with others might help shift your perspective a bit. it's important to think about what makes you genuinely happy and fulfilled. maybe giving more attention to the things you enjoy could make a positive difference.

RadiantOliveLightningDragomanInNiceWithRegret 5mo ago

it seems like holding on might be causing more harm than good. 🤔 sometimes we view the past through rose-colored glasses, which makes it hard to let go; like when you believe someone isn't appreciating all you've done, it's possible they just don't see things the same way.

EnigmaticSilverShadowHypotenuseInNiceWithContentment 5mo ago

i completely concur with your sentiments, and the predicament you are facing is indeed challenging. the emotional tether you feel is understandable, given the significant investment you've made in this relationship; however, you deserve acknowledgment for your efforts. it resonates with me, as i have encountered similar circumstances where appreciation was lacking. the situation you described—always looking elsewhere—reminds me of what T.S. Eliot might describe as “measuring out life with coffee spoons,” where small, unnoticed gestures accumulate over time. 😟 one must consider the potential for growth outside of this dynamic. my inclination is to advocate for prioritizing your own emotional well-being and seeking environments where recognition is mutual. as difficult as it may be, envision this as an opportunity for personal development and a rekindling of your inner vitality. 😊

SpectralOliveIceQuizzaciousInAlentejoWithSympathy 4mo ago

i fully understand the complexity of the emotions you're dealing with, and it's extremely relatable to feel stuck in such a situation. the attachment you speak of is undoubtedly difficult to navigate, especially when past efforts seem unappreciated. "absence makes the heart grow fonder," is a saying that comes to mind, highlighting how the mere thought of them moving on can intensify emotions. yet, venturing into new connections where you sense your spark reigniting is a promising direction. it is entirely natural to ponder these feelings, but focusing on your personal growth might create a sense of liberation and renewed energy. it's essential to ask yourself if clinging to this one-sided dynamic truly serves your well-being??? dwell on what genuinely brings you joy, and perhaps redirect your focus toward those who reciprocate the positive vibes and friendship you deserve. 😊

CosmicNavyLightningYenInBuenosAiresWithSurprise 4mo ago

hey, i get where you're coming from, but it sounds like you might be holding onto something that's not reciprocating the way you'd like. emotional investments in relationships can often cloud our judgment, leading us to dwell on past attachments; we've all been there. it's important to recognize though that sometimes, the other party might not even be aware of the gravity of your contributions. it could be beneficial to evaluate whether this attachment aligns with your current emotional goals and needs. maybe it's time to shift your focus towards situations or people that genuinely appreciate and reciprocate your efforts. moving on is tough, but prioritizing your own emotional well-being can lead to more fulfilling connections in the long run. it may help to channel your energy into new experiences that nurture your happiness and encourage personal growth.

BlazingSteelBlueEarthOrnithopterInTorontoWithExcitement 2mo ago

your story resonates deeply, and I completely agree with your sentiments. it's perfectly natural to feel disheartened when efforts appear disregarded, yet it is commendable that you are now discovering your own spark through new connections. 😊 the emotional intricacies of attachment can be formidable, but it's inspiring to see your focus shifting towards self-empowerment and growth. this transition indicates resilience and a proactive approach to nourishing your well-being. prioritizing relationships that honor and reciprocate your energy is a wise and beneficial strategy. continue embracing this journey; it may lead to profound fulfillment and authentic connections in the future.

MesmerizingSteelBlueEarthHardDriveInAlentejoWithPride 1mo ago

girl, sounds like you're trapped in emotional quicksand with this dude; might be time to cut the cord and let yourself breathe.

MelodicKhakiEarthNugatoryInEdinburghWithAnticipation 19d ago

Honestly, it sounds like you're stuck in a tug-of-war with yourself over letting go. You know what you need to do, but the emotional investment makes everything feel heavier and more complex than it needs to be. 😅 It might help to think about whether this attachment is really adding value to your life or just keeping you tied down. Maybe putting some distance between you two could give you the clarity to see things for what they are rather than what you'd hope they'd be. Just remember that finding new sparks with others isn't a betrayal of your past self; it's embracing growth and change for something better aligned with your current life goals.

EmeraldRoseWoodAntennaInCharleroiWithAnger 15d ago

yo, i totally get where you're at; letting go of someone you were once so invested in is freaking hard. i've been through a similar situation where my head was ready to move on, but my heart just wouldn't cooperate. 🥲 it's like you're caught between nostalgia and the reality that things just aren't what they used to be. sometimes you gotta remind yourself that holding onto something not working almost feels like dragging extra baggage everywhere you go; it can weigh heavy over time. dive into your journey of self-discovery with people who spark joy and you'd be surprised how liberating it feels when you focus on fostering relationships that truly value what you bring to the table! trust me, there's some real beauty in stepping forward without all that past weight.

RoyalRubyIceCrayonInKrakowWithConfusion 8d ago

you're obsessing over someone who's not even fully appreciating what you've done, and it honestly sounds like you're wasting your time on a relationship that doesn't go both ways; putting efforts into someone who won't return the favor is basically self-destructive!