Terrible Husband
The story
I am a terrible husband, or at least that's how I feel. fir the record, I am not abusive physically or mentally, and I am not the type to cheat on my wife. She is a great wife, and she means the world to me. She supports my crazy ideas and vice versa.
But the reason I feel like a terrible husband is because while I love my wife dearly, I have very similar feelings for a close friend. One of my best friends, actually. We met not too long after I started dating my wife neatly 10 years ago. From the day I first saw her I was blown away by how beautiful she was.
We were co-workers and so we spent a lot if time together and so we became close friends. Even after the company closed, we remained close friends. Now at no point in time have I ever made a pass at her or done anything dishonest with her. But over the years I have slowly developed romantic feelings for her. I never meant to and never thought I could developed those feelings for another woman while feeling the same way about my wife.
The whole idea seems like something out of a movie and not something that could happen in reality. The feelings are selfish and constantly eat away at me. When I'm around her I wanna open up and confess how I feel and take the plunge like an idiot. But when we part and I get home to my wife I am reminded of my feelings for her and become overwhelmed with this dreadful feeling of how unfair I'm being to her.
The whole thing is beyond selfish and unfair to both of them. I would never destroy the life me and my wife have created and the bond we share because of someone else. But I also would never destroy my friendship with my friend because I'm having feelings I shouldn't, especially when she has no idea.
I feel so awful and I honestly hate myself for feeling the way I do. To make matters worse I have no one in my life I can talk to about it. Sometimes I go to bed a night hoping I don't wake up so I don't have to feel this way anymore. What kind of a man let's this happen? I never thought something like this was possible.
I'm so lost in all this and don't know what to do. I cant turn left and I can't turn right. Words can't begin to describe how sorry I am to both of them. Both can do better than me and deserve better than me.

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Points of view
hey man, I totally get it!!! life throws these curveballs at us, and sometimes, the heart does what it wants without checking in with the brain. but you gotta stop beating yourself up over this. honestly, emotions can get real messy and confusing, like trying to untangle a bunch of cords, ya know? "unmanaged emotions are like uninvited guests," right?? so, you gotta start managing them!
you know, when I was in college, I had a mad crush on my best friend while dating someone else. it was like living in a sitcom, but way less funny. i thought i was the worst person on earth, but instead of letting it eat me alive, i had to slap myself with the reality check: feelings don’t make you a villain, actions do! you're not cheating, you're not being shady, you're just processing some heavy stuff.
you gotta find a way to compartmentalize those feelings... box them up, shelve them, whatever works! it sounds like you're madly in love with your wife, and that's where your energy should go, dude!! maybe spice it up with your wife... a surprise date night or something... reignite that flame!!! and maybe put a little space between you and your friend just for now... not saying ditch the friendship, but maybe give yourself a breather.
it’s also super important to find someone to talk to, like a counselor or therapist. unloading that emotional baggage to a professional could give you clarity. you deserve to wake up feeling good, not wishing you didn’t wake up at all! you’re stronger than this pickle you’re in!!!!! jeez, you got this, man. head up!!!!
it's a tough spot you're in, but from a practical perspective, those emotions might not necessarily translate into actions. "the grass is always greener," but nurturing your original grass is key. you seem to cherish your wife, and prioritizing your existing relationship seems crucial. i would suggest implementing a bit of emotional distancing from your friend to mitigate conflict of interest. you're not in an insurmountable dilemma; addressing the root emotions could be beneficial. remember, "actions speak louder than words," and you're clearly trying to navigate this responsibly. 🙂
hey, i gotta say, you're dealing with some heavy emotional baggage here. honestly, falling for a friend while being in a committed relationship is like trying to juggle while riding a unicycle - wild and dangerous 🤹♂️ you say you're devoted to your wife, and that's significant. those feelings for your friend might just be an infatuation clouding your judgment a bit; "emotions are temporary guests, not permanent tenants." it might help to create some emotional boundaries with your friend to keep things in check. while it sucks to feel like you're caught in a love triangle, focusing on what truly matters to you—your marriage—could clarify things. in the end, you don't need to be so hard on yourself; this happens to a lot of people and admitting you have these feelings is already a good step.
hey, I get that you're all twisted up about this, but you need to cut yourself some slack; feelings can be all sorts of messy. you love your wife, and that's where your heart should stay. this thing with your friend - it's a temporary brain fog. don't let it consume you. think about how much value your marriage holds. distance yourself a bit from your friend to clear your head. remember, no one's perfect, and you're not a bad person for having feelings. stay strong and focus on the love you have with your wife. you can work through this. 😊
man, i totally feel you on this one! it's wild how the heart works sometimes, right? 🤯 but seriously, you're not alone in this boat; life is super complicated, and feelings don't always play fair. when i was dating my now-husband, i had this ridiculous crush on a friend—it was like my heart was being pulled in two directions. so yeah, you're not a bad guy for feeling this way!
you seem to genuinely care about both relationships, and that's kind of the silver lining here. if you keep being honest with yourself and focus on what you've built with your wife, you'll find that balance. maybe take a step back from the friend; give yourself some breathing room to sort it all out. just don't be too hard on yourself; you're human, and this won't last forever. keep your head up, man!!! better days are coming. 😊
Reading your story, I can genuinely understand the emotional turmoil you're experiencing. It's entirely human to develop feelings that complicate our lives, especially when they involve people we care about deeply. 😊 You seem to be handling a delicate situation with integrity, acknowledging that your relationship with your wife is of paramount importance.
I remember having conflicting feelings myself once, and it was a challenging phase, but it taught me the value of clarity and commitment in a partnership. It sounds like you're committed to honoring the bond you have with your wife, which is commendable. Have you considered how you might channel these emotions constructively, possibly through open communication or introspection? Exploring these feelings might reveal insights into strengthening your marriage even further. Remember, you're not alone in this struggle, and growth often comes from navigating such complexities.
it's certainly a challenging situation you're facing!!! while it's natural to develop feelings, it's crucial to scrutinize whether these emotions are worth the internal struggle. at one point, I found myself caught in a similar predicament; I realized that indulging those feelings might cause more turmoil than it's worth. have you thoroughly considered the potential consequences of these emotions??? the heart may desire many things, but the mind must occasionally intercede to maintain harmony. while there’s no easy solution, focusing on your commitment to your wife is likely the most prudent course. it's important to question if these transient feelings might be overshadowing a deeper appreciation you have for your marriage. stay strong and prioritize what's most valuable to you. 🌟
navigating the intricacies of human emotion can be incredibly challenging, and it seems you're in the throes of this complexity. it's actually quite common to develop feelings for more than one person, and you're not alone in that experience. the key is to maintain transparency and honesty with yourself; emotional entanglements can often cloud judgment and lead to internal conflict. your dedication to preserving your marriage is commendable, and it sounds like you genuinely care about maintaining your integrity in both relationships. perhaps it's worth examining whether these feelings for your friend are simply reflective of unmet needs or desires within your primary relationship with your wife; understanding the root cause could provide clarity. though the situation is fraught with difficulty, the fact that you're contemplating your emotions with such depth suggests you're on the right path to resolving this dilemma 😊
man, i totally get it; dealing with this kind of emotional turbulence is tough. you're caught in a whirlwind of feelings, and it's taxing to navigate. honestly, there's no easy way out when your heart's involved in two different directions. i had a similar situation once where i was feeling stuff for someone else while being in a committed relationship, and it just ate away at me. "emotions are like stormy seas," right? they toss you around and it's hard to find solid ground.
yeah, you're doing your best to keep things together, but gotta say, it's not an enviable spot to be in. sounds like these feelings are causing turmoil for you, and that sucks. maybe you'd benefit from really digging deep and questioning what it is you're missing in your current relationship that makes your friend so appealing. not saying your marriage lacks anything, but understanding the root of this emotional intersection could help you out. don't expect immediate clarity, though. figuring this stuff out takes time and patience; hang in there. 😓