it's just so complicated being around them all the time. like seriously, she's my best friend and we connect on so many levels, but her husband? he's practically got everything i ever wanted in someone. you know how some folks say 'the heart wants what it wants'? well, that's me right now. i'm crazy about him and he doesn't even know it.

when i think about the conversations we've had, the little shared jokes between us, it's like when harry met sally... but with a whole lot of wrong timing. he gets my humor and those subtle nuances that most people miss. but alas, he's bound to someone else. honestly, it's one of those things where i keep reminding myself that “patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet”.

i'm 31 years old and still caught up in this tangled web of emotions that shouldn't be happening! i mean seriously, what do you do when you realize that your ideal match is already taken? it's not easy to compartmentalize all these feelings while maintaining friendly relations with both of them. feelings are messy and not particularly cooperative.

there's also the guilt factor lurking there for intruding emotionally where i'm not supposed to be; yet somehow there's an emotional tie and i'm left questioning my own moral compass. can't share this with anyone i hang out with cause they'll freak over it or misunderstand completely (trust me i've tried). still just venting here makes it feel a bit better 😊

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