Why is it that everyone around me has so many ‘talking stages’ or crushes or are even dating someone and why is it that I’m still single? I’ve tried everything at this point and I don’t know what to do.. I’ve been on dating apps, have gone on dates and been ghosted afterwards… always tried to change to get others to look at me or even like me but nobody ever cares. When I look in the mirror, I’m not upset about my appearance.. I think I look pretty attractive but I might just be too confident. I might be too ugly for the people I’m interested in. .

I feel like a huge part of why I don’t have anyone yet is my interests and the way I look. I try to be honest and upfront on dates. I dress how I want, talk about what I want and I usually take the lead in conversations and decide what to do but I’m not white. I’m not normal. I don’t dress like everyone else. I’m not even truly straight. And maybe that’s why I’m so unloveable. Sure, I’m a man and I’m still pretty young and I have plenty of time, I know that!! But I’m missing out.

I’ve never experienced teenage love and I’ve never even had a real crush before. It’s like I force myself to like someone sometimes because they sort of like me.. but I can’t really see myself in a relationship with them, even if I crave it so much.. I just crave to be intimate with someone.. ANYONE at this point.

But honestly, I’ve given up. I pretend I don’t care when I actually really do but I just know that these type of things aren’t for me and will never ever happen to me simply because I don’t fit into the standard

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