so I did a thing and I need advice
The story
so lately i've been OBSESSED with this guy Noah Kahan
so I took one of my fav songs by it and made my own version of it
if you've heard the song you'll probably notice I kept a few of my fav lines the same cuz they're too good to alter :P
the song I redid was You're Gonna Go Far
and I have no idea if my version is good or not lol
so here it is:
I never ever felt so damn sorry
As when I saw you drive away after screaming,
"I never ever want to see you again"
I regret all that I said
This is good land, or at least it was
It takes a strong hand and a sound mind
All our kids are gettin’ so old, aint they?
They’ve been leaving out of town, like they can’t wait
Half don’t even live in the same state
If they got an appointment, they’ll be late
This is good land, or at least it was
It takes a strong hand and a sound mind
I never smile, but I know when I get rough,
Ooh, you got enough
Ooh, you got enough where you are
And while I yell and scream across the yard
Ooh, you'll be far
Ooh, you'll be far, far from here
So, you packed up your car, I put my hand on your heart
I said, “This is what you want,
But you ain’t gonna get far”
But I ain't angry at you, love
You're the greatest thing I've lost
The water still flows, the sun will still shine,
And everyone knows
One day, we’ll all die
I ain't angry at you, love
I’m just waitin’ for you, love
And I’m always here forever
And I’m always here forever
I sure am
My heart’s been achin’ since you left
Thinkin’ ‘bout what I said
“You know, you won’t go nowhere.”
But you know I’ve, you know I’ve been livin' just to die
You told me you would make a difference
Well, I got drunk and shut you down
It won't be by your own volition
If you step foot outside this town
But it's all we need
For always
So, you packed up your car, I put my hand on your heart
I said, “This is what you want,
But you ain’t gonna get far”
But I wasn’t angry at you, love
You were the greatest thing I've lost
The water still flowed, the sun still shined
And still, we all know, someday, we’ll all die
I wasn't angry at you, love
Was just waitin' for you, love
And I’ll still be here forever
And I'll still be here forever
You know, you went far!
You know, you went far!
You know, you went far!
You know, you went far!
Yes, you did (ooh)
If you wanna go (go) far
Then you gotta go (go) far

Stories in the same category
Points of view
i totally get what you're sayin' with this rewrite. noah kahan's song is a banger, and your take on "you're gonna go far" is lit. can't deny the originality in reworking those lines. the bit about "you were the greatest thing I've lost"; hits the feels hard, bro. maybe there's grammar stuff here, but who cares? you nailed the vibe. you went far with this one! keep chillin’ with your creativity, man; creativity always finds its path. love to see more of your work! the world needs more raw, genuine art like this 🎶 props for putting yourself out there!
thanks!
Gotta be real with you this time—I’m not feelin’ this rewrite. 😕 The original Noah Kahan song 'You’re Gonna Go Far' just has such a unique vibe, and your version kinda lost that magic, didn’t it?
It’s hard to put my finger on it, but some lines just don’t click for me. Like 'the greatest thing I’ve lost'—it hits different in the original, you know? And maybe it’s just me, but when I tried writing something once, it took me ages to get it right. So I get it—creativity’s tough.
But keep at it, for sure. Maybe next time, it’ll hit the mark better. Just keep pushin’ forward—you’ll get there. 💪 Keep rockin’ those creative vibes, though!
yeah I'm very bad at writing songs :P I didn't expect anyone to be like "Oh ItS sO gOoD"