My Kids Don't Know Me At All
The story
I have two grown boys. Their dad was abusive. My parents were self centered. I lived a whole life not talking about myself and now I am middle aged and find that I let everyone else tell my story. I find that the only things my kids (and most people) know about me are the things they were told by other people, and those people (I am finding) were very unreliable. There is safety in anonymity but it is also very lonely. My children don't know who I really am. Family fills in the blanks with their own assumptions because they don't understand what motivates me or inspires me. Now that I see this pattern, I am trying to fix it first by letting my children know about me and my history. It is scary- speaking up about myself. But it would be scarier to leave the earth without anybody understanding me. We all want to be seen, at least a little bit, by the people who matter to us.
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Points of view
It's powerful that you're taking steps to share your story now! It's never too late to change those narratives and it's so inspiring that you're showing your kids who you truly are. Have you thought about starting a journal or memoir? It could be a meaningful way to organize your thoughts and experiences before sharing them with others. Your journey seems like it would make an incredible read!!!
it’s brave to open up and redefine how people see you now. it must feel overwhelming, but facing this is an act of incredible strength. maybe starting with small stories or moments that showcase who you are could help bridge that gap with your kids. they might appreciate the chance to rediscover you bit by bit!
ya know, it's kinda funny how we go through life sometimes hiding parts of ourselves without even realizing it; but hey, better late than never to start sharing who you are! ✨ it's awesome you're taking control now and trying to tell your own story; just remember that opening up takes time and you don't have to rush it. maybe try having casual conversations with your kids about different aspects of your life to make it feel more natural.