Long rant, too many to say but I can't make this too long
The story
This will be very long, but that's just how much I need to let out. So, let me begin.
I used to have a friend group, it felt like the world was mine when I'm with them. Plus, I was sort of the leader. But later, we all had separated because of most of us transferring to different schools. I wanted to keep touch, of course, but over time, we drifted apart. We still text, but what's bothering me is one of my friends from our group who I should say is one of the closest to me.
At first,we were both venting to each other about our new environment, but lately, I noticed he getting way less present. In our group chat, when I text her personally, she became more distant. I found out that she probably has new friends. So of course,she'd already forget us since she has a replacement now.
I wish I'm like her. Someone who can easily forget others. Because the more I remember, the more it hurt. Moreover, at my new school, I turned into a quiet kid. New kid, so everyone already has friends and has no room for me. Ignored, invisible even when I try to participate, they wont acknowledge me. Be it my peers or the teachers.
This made me feel lowly. Another thing if like to vent about (told you, there's a lot) is about my appearance. I'm short, wear glasses, not exactly that fair... I wish I can be pretty. I always wonder how other girls can look pretty, even if they look like me. I think it might be because of their fashion. One more thing I can only wish for. I want to wear outfits like them. They all look pretty, elegant and trendy. Like people others would walk by and say "wow, she's beautiful". But whenever I express my desire to wear pretty outfits, my family would tell me that it 'doesn't suit me' or like 'when are you gonna wear it?' .
My sister is trendy. She can go out on her own, buy clothes without worrying what others would think. She's tall, pretty, smart, admired. I'm only a year younger but I can never look as mature as her. She has her own bank card, her own purse... When I ask for these, my parents would procrastinate buying me one, I'll end up never getting it.
I just want to be like them. I want to have friends, go out with them, look pretty, go to fancy events (my school never does them, while my sister's always has these events), I just wanna feel wanted. But I'll always be the average, unwanted, background character. I wanna feel important in someone's life just like how important my friends are to me. I wish I can be someone who doesn't break down crying from just a few nice words from a stranger on the internet. I just want to be someone else who's not this pathetic me.
Sorry for this being so long, I actually have more to say, but I'll end it here. Just the thought of someone reading this whole thing is amazing. Just so you know, I appreciate you. I want to be someone who can provide comfort too. This makes me feel better, and I like that feeling. Thank you, thank you so much.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hey there!
I couldn’t help but notice some stuff in your story that didn’t quite sit right. Firstly, knowing heaps of people drift apart as life changes. It’s a drag but hey, it’s bound to happen. “I wish I’m like her,” you said; truth be told, comparison often becomes the thief of joy. Self-worth isn't about being the leader or having companions around. I recall a time when I felt like a ghost in a crowd. It was lonely, but eventually, you vibe with the right crowd.
Trying to change for others' approval ain't a healthy gig. “One more thing I can only wish for,” indicates you're longing for something that's maybe a little too high and mighty. You don't have to blend in; instead, let your unique style shout out loud. And sure, some family members just don’t get us, and that's rough! ‘Cause let’s face it, they sometimes wrap us in cotton wool a little too much.
On appearances, remember what Gandhi once implied: True beauty resides not in mimicry but authenticity!!! Stay true to yourself while building your own aspirations rather than borrowing someone else's.
Share your thoughts but keep chin up. You're stellar, just the way you are :)
I read your story and had a few thoughts I’d like to share. First and foremost, it’s perfectly normal to feel a sense of loss when friendships change, but I wonder if perhaps you’re being too hard on yourself. I once felt lost when I transferred to a new school, but over time I realized it’s an opportunity for personal growth. Try embracing the new environment as a chance to build fresh connections.
I noticed you’re comparing yourself to others. Often, it’s tempting to wish to be like someone else, but every individual possesses unique qualities. Focusing on personal strengths often reveals your own form of beauty and self-worth.
Your family may seem to hold differing opinions on fashion and appearance, but I believe you should express yourself in ways that make you feel comfortable and confident. Remember to approach life with an open heart, and the right people will appreciate you for who you truly are.
Find peace in being authentic. Yourself is where real satisfaction begins.
wow, it sounds like you're really going through it 🤔 you're right, drifting apart from friends is tough and it stings like hell at times, but it's a typical social dynamic when everyone’s moving all over for school and stuff. life moves on and people change their priorities; you shouldn't be too harsh on yourself for finding it hard to let go.
but man, you're kinda harsh on yourself about this appearance thing. comparing yourself to others is a slippery slope. sure, your sister seems to have it all, but remember that everybody's got their own struggles. just because she's trendy and out there, doesn't mean she's got life figured out 100%. underestimate yourself, and that’s like asking for trouble before it even shows up. it's essential to focus on personal growth rather than external validation.
i get it, the feeling of invisibility when transferring to a new school can be brutal, but you gotta give it time. your uniqueness might just be what a new friend is looking for. people overlook the value of patience when it comes to building connections, ’cause hastiness often leads to disappointment.
recognize your own worth and focus on the things you can control, the rest will eventually fall into place. so cut yourself some slack, alright?