Does life get any better?
The story
Hello,
I am currently in university and I am so fucking tired of this shit. My hobbies don’t feel like hobbies; they aren’t fun because I always compare myself to others and wish I was better. I can’t stop comparing myself to others, I am plagued by my past mistakes and actions that I have done. It’s an endless struggle of self worth and image.
For reference, I got diagnosed with autism this semester, and a lot of struggles that I faced make a lot of sense. I struggle with rage and meltdowns, and a lot of apathy. There are times where I wonder if doing anything is worth it. I want to be creative but I get burnt out so easily and won’t do anything creative for months. It’s horrible.
My self image is at rock bottom. I can’t help but worry about what I eat, and how many calories it is. I constantly worry about being fat. For context, I have never been skinny but I have never been fat either. I powerlift now and am pretty buff (I like looking masculine because I am afab nonbinary). But I still can’t help but body check and wish that I was more lean so that my muscles would be more defined. I hate, hate my body, and I hate my breasts. They aren’t that big, maybe a B, but I fucking hate them so fucking much.
People say that exercising helps with mental health. I’ve been an athlete my whole life and it seems like every year my mental health just gets worse.
And I feel so fucking ungrateful for everything. I feel like a brat because I should appreciate this life that I have been granted, but my brain pretty much only focuses on the negative.
I guess I just want to know if there is any way to relieve this pain, this emptiness that I feel when I am driving home after a long day and I want to cry but I can’t. Or if it just gets worse after university.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hey there, sorry for what you’re going through. It sounds really tough to battle those feelings day in and day out. I got stuck too when I was younger, always comparing myself and wishing I could do more; one thing that sort of helped me was setting small, realistic goals and trying not to judge myself so harshly. It might not work for everyone, but sometimes appreciating the little achievements can lighten the mental load a bit? And hey, have you thought about reaching out for professional help or support groups—many find it beneficial; being around people who understand can be pretty comforting! Hang in there!!! 🙌
Hey there, it seems like you're navigating quite the storm right now; I can imagine how draining comparing oneself to others can be. You might find inspiration in Epictetus' teachings about focusing on what you can control and letting go of the rest—"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants." 🙏 Maybe exploring different exercises or activities that emphasize self-expression without comparison could spark some joy? And while being an athlete is awesome, maybe it's not just about physical exercise; sometimes engaging with art, nature, or even meditation might provide a different kind of peace and fulfillment? Stay strong!!! 🌟
hey, i'm really sorry you're going through this. it sounds intense and overwhelming. i can relate to feeling weighed down by comparison: it's like a never-ending loop, right? when i was deep in that mindset, what surprisingly helped me was taking up journaling. jotting down thoughts without overthinking can be liberating and sometimes reveal insights about yourself you might not notice otherwise 🤷♂️ also, have you tried experimenting with your creativity without any expectations? even if it's just doodling or any low-pressure activity; it might help reignite some of that lost spark! remember, there's no rush to figure things out!! it's okay to take time for yourself and go at your own pace 😊