I wanna say: Shit, fuck, cunt, dog, dammit, whore, asshole
The story
There is a cosplay event I wanna go to, and I'm excited because I've never cosplayed. But mydad may be in Qatar soon, so when mom says "I don't know", I'm the smart one for saying "It can't happen". She says he could come back earlier, but for the moment, I give up. Actually, for the next 3 months, I'll quit before I try. It's best anyways. Mom can't drive to Abu Dhabi on her own, she's too scared. It's pointless, anyways. I've failed far too many times, in a few years only, I'll reach 0. there may be creeps or someone who could do bad stuff to me, and Abu Dhabi is 1 hr away from my house, she's scared of driving that far, and who knows, maybe Joseph's hair is too tough even with hairspray and styling, and even then, I don't think I can go anyways because a disaster may happen. It's okay. I've failed exams, I've failed 2 art competitions already, I lack friends even though it's been many years to even have one, I look bad anyways, I'm stupid, so the best thing is to just wake up, brush my teeth, watch YouTube, and call it a day. I'll not even watch JoJo with mom, it's a dumb anime anyways.
I'll do what other kids do on weekends, wake up, brush teeth, watch videos for hours, eat food, watch some more videos, sleep, walk around in the house, watch some more, eat snacks, watch more. I did it for 2 months of summer break, and even though I hated it, I'm used to it. There's no use wishing for a unicorn, especially when a horse feels impossible too. Johnny Joestar became below 0, he was in the negative, he hated it, but he's used to it. It's impossible to even have a cow, that's how stupid this shit is. It's okay, I'm a failure anyways. I thought life would be more humble because I wasn't very successful, just decent, so it's fine. Failure becomes painless, and painlessness increases when you don't hope and you don't even try. My Johnny doll will probably suck in the future when I finish him, so I won't finish. Johnny at least had Gyro. I've never had anyone my age for 7 years, so why bother trying to dress up, trying to succeed in exams this time, finish Johnny, or even try anything new? It's pointless, anyways. Life becomes so unpredictable, doing nothing feels like a nice change. I don't even have 1 Gyro, 1 friend who tries to care.
If I'm worth nothing, I'm in peace. The acceptance of nothing is peace
I mean, one book said people are allowed to think low of you, so I can do it as well. I have no idea why mom cares so much. Her daughter failed her exams, can't go to IGCSE for that reason, failed 2 art competitions, looks hideous, has no friends, has no outstanding achievements not even one, I spend her money on figures and books, with dumb comics or dumb art instead of successful business books for the future, so why does she still care? Now living is the only dumb thing I'm good at. DIO was right about "Heaven", if I knew my fate, I'd have accepted my fate to the negative numbers more easily.
I haven't changed. I'm convinced I'll never change. That's fine. Change is meant to be scary anyways. Stagnancy is sometimes the best outcome.
I’m done and convinced nothing will change. I'll still fail miserable until I decide my life is pointless, therefore I'll die somehow.
Why do you still care? I’m worth as much as fucking dog-shit, anyways.
Dad will leave, “I don’t know” will become “we can’t go”, and I’ll never succeed in anything. Mom should accept the fact she has a daughter who’s gonna be a failure in the future. They say failure helps you learn, instead, I feel as if I'm going from 0 to -1. I feel more useless than ever. Why try again if all I get is just bad outcomes. It hurts, it hurts too much and it's a pain I'd rather die than live with it. How does my family even live with this...leech? The fact that all their kid does now is fail, fail, fail. They should give me away. They should honestly, HONESTLY, tell me I'm a disappointment to them, and wish I died. Life would be better if I did. Failure has hurt me too much, and the only way to stop this pain forever is to sit down, scroll, eat, sleep, and so on until I'm 30, which is my death date. What's the point of trying to help a useless person, what's the point of being nice to yourself when you know you could've done better in LIVING? Fucking cunts.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Man, I get where you're coming from. It's like the more you try, the more things just don’t work out, right?? But honestly, why let fear of failure stop you? You’re already spending so much time worrying about everything going wrong. Why not give it a shot and see?? Maybe you'll surprise yourself. Who knows—what’s your dream cosplay for this event anyway?
Joseph Joestar of JJBA Part 2. I'm a girl, but it's stupid.
Nothing is stupid, it's just what you like, that's it!! 😉
i can sense the weight you're carrying, and it sounds truly overwhelming. it's understandable to doubt when past attempts haven't gone as planned. however, each experience is a lesson that builds resilience. taking small steps towards your goals could gradually change your outlook on things. remember, even the brightest success stories faced numerous setbacks before finding their path—perhaps consider giving yourself some credit for enduring what you have so far. 😊
dude, i hear your frustration loud and clear, it's like life keeps throwing curveballs when you're just trying to catch a break, but even so, maybe there's a way you can enjoy the small stuff—like watching anime or working on that doll—and who knows, one day it might lead to something unexpectedly awesome.
hey, i'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. it's tough when life seems like a perpetual cycle of setbacks, and i totally get how exhausting that can be. honestly, it sounds like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, but just remember: everyone hits rough patches—sometimes they feel never-ending—but that doesn't define who you are or what you're capable of in the long run. sometimes it helps to take small steps just for yourself without thinking too far ahead about success or failure. maybe try doing one thing that brings you joy every day, even if it feels insignificant at first. and about your mom caring? that's because she sees the potential in you and loves you, despite what you may think of yourself right now. be kind to yourself; believe me, it’s okay to struggle and not have all the answers immediately. just know there's always hope for change—even if it's hard to see right now—and there are people rooting for you more than you'd expect.
honestly, it sounds like you're just giving up before you even try—seriously, how do you expect things to change if you don't put some effort in?
Hey, I can definitely relate to feeling stuck in a loop where nothing seems to go your way. It's like life is serving you lemons without the sugar for lemonade. 🥲 But here's the thing: sometimes when everything feels so certain to fail, that random moment of trying again can flip the script just when you least expect it. You know, like how Frodo didn't think he could handle the quest, but step by step, he made it through? Maybe starting on something small or even just scratching the surface with that cosplay could bring some unexpected joy. Just know that it's okay to feel this way and reach out if it gets too heavy; people care more than we think sometimes. Keep hanging in there!
It sounds like you're feeling really weighed down by everything, and I get why it seems easier to just not bother with anything at all. But here's the thing; sometimes, it's about finding that tiny spark that makes life feel a bit less heavy, even if it's just something small like working on your cosplay or coloring a drawing for fun. I know it might sound pointless when things seem so tough now, but these little hobbies can be a great escape and bring some joy or peace into your day. Instead of looking at everything as a potential failure waiting to happen, perhaps give yourself permission to find simple pleasures without any pressure for them to be monumental successes; even amidst confusion and doubts, those moments count for something too;
It's easy to fall into a mindset where past failures seem like an indicator of future outcomes, but remember what Winston Churchill said: "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.
You know, sometimes it feels like the universe is conspiring against us, right?
Hey, I totally hear ya! It's like life turned into a bad sitcom where the punchline is always on you. ..
Damn, sounds like you're really in a rough place right now. 😕 It's mad easy to get stuck in that mindset of expecting the worst 'cause it's familiar. But honestly, sometimes just doing something small for yourself, even if it seems dumb or trivial, can shift things a little. Life's a chaotic mess, but every now and then, finding your own groove amidst the chaos is what keeps you going. Hang tight! Maybe just try one thing without thinking too far ahead—who knows where it'll lead?! 🤷♂️