is it abnormal to want something bad to happen to me?

as of lately ive wanted to just have something horrible happen to me for some sort of validation. im kinda in the middle ground between normal and weird-- i feel too negative to have a normal mindset but im not negative enough to be worried about. i can easily ignore whatever issues i have if i distract myself. do i sound attention seeking if i wish for bad situations to occur to me daily?

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