JOY = DANGER
The story
Does anyone remember this? https://iiwiars.com/spiritual-journey-stories/i-hate-this
Yeah, update now.
Can't you see those teachers can be petty?! I bet my shitty idiotic dance teacher only said that to mom because he felt pity. Fuck pity! I'm not as weak as you think, bastard cunt! And those kids may be tired, but the more they know me, the more comfortable they'll get conspiring I'm a horrible dancer and laugh in some competition, if I'll even get in one! I'll pretend to not give it my all, it's better than GARBAGE any day. He's lying to my face to sound like a nice guy and it's not working. He may say I did well for a beginner in an advanced tier, but I don't believe in beginner's luck or any good luck. My scheme will work. I'll just not try and he'll kick me out. I can do a half-ass job and call it a day, and then week, then a month, until he thinks I don't care and he suggests I leave. Good idea, since people are untrustworthy "species". He may say good, I smell "I'm saying this to drain money from your slut mother". Not so fast, liar cheat! You yourself said I'm allowed to not care! If I could burn the school, the music place, and my classmates, I would. And I'd salt the Earth away for extra measure and reside on Mars, if aliens do exist. But I can't. I just wish life was still and I was more free.
I went to the class and unfortunately put effort. I obviously wasn't matching the kids and they somehow didn't laugh, but it makes me more suspicious. More suspicious they weren't laughing because they thought I was bad and wanted to laugh, but didn't for respect. I told it to my brother earlier, and he said, "They won't! I see grown adults come in piano class and they can't even play Merry Had A Little Lamb, and I don't laugh because I know they'll get there!" You're 11, you haven't felt the worst feelings yet. Instead, that teacher was again nice to me and being a bit silly to his older students, and saying they were all like me when they started. What bullshit, they wanted to be here, I said yes because mom insisted, and she's a fugly rat for that! Very FUGLY! FUCKING UGLY!! She wanted to set me up for failure! She wants to see me become my worst self! I feel more clearer now, more than I ever did. The world is a planet of smog and salt, the people are monsters of Hell, me and the minority the survivors. I may feel a pull where if I do something I enjoy I feel kinder and sweeter, but that's the girl I hate being. I hate switching to that weak version of me, I want her to go away, shed off. She's weak and dumb. Do you not see the pissy world I live in? I have to fight for my life, until I die. You say yourself no one's good here. I don't feel weak like those witch doctors say "stress" does, I feel stronger, godly. Kindness and being nice, even feeling nice and regretting hurting others, it's my weakness from me. I need to improve that and not feel it. Nice people are a lie. No one is genuinely sweet, they're all doing it to seem nice, when really they haven't awakened their innermost selves, the true "disgusting" selves. I need to learn how to shed my outer fake self, the me I hate being who loves family, who likes science and history, who likes art, who likes cheesecake, it's a fake society-created shell. I wish I could talk to her to tell her to fuck off. I'm regressing, into my weakest form!
Stories in the same category
Points of view
i totally get where you're coming from!!! it's so frustrating when people pretend to be nice just to put you down later. i remember having a teacher who always praised me, but it felt fake and condescending. do you think your mom pushed you into this class because she genuinely thought it'd be good for you??? or was there some other reason?? sometimes parents mean well but end up making things worse...
Frankly, your bitterness is palpable and, dare I say, misguided. You're projecting a lot of hostility onto those around you without any concrete evidence!
Your dance teacher's compliments might just be genuine encouragement ;-) it's not always about manipulation or ulterior motives... Reflect on this quote: "We see the world, not as it is, but as we are"... perhaps your negative outlook is coloring your perception of their actions? I remember joining a coding class my parents pushed me into; initially, it felt like they were setting me up for failure too, but eventually, it turned into an unexpected passion. Maybe give yourself—and them—a chance before dismissing everyone as malevolent?!
i totally understand the frustration you're feeling; it's tough when it feels like everyone around you is not genuine and has hidden motives. but sometimes, what we perceive isn't always the reality. have you considered that maybe your dance teacher sees potential in you? i mean, even if it feels disingenuous, there might be a sliver of truth in his praise. my little cousin once got into karate 'cause his mom insisted; he hated it at first too, but sticking with it surprisingly brought him newfound confidence and skills. maybe it's worth holding back on being too harsh on yourself and others while exploring these new experiences, y'know? life can feel overwhelming when everything seems against us... but perhaps opening up to possibilities could change things for the better 🤔
man, i get it—teachers can be real pieces of work sometimes; but not everyone is out to screw you over. 🤔 maybe your teacher just sees potential in you? it's wild out here thinking everyone's got some sneaky agenda though, isn't that exhausting? anyway, curious—what would you do if aliens actually came down and offered that trip to mars? 😁
Your passion and intensity are clear, but I wonder if there's maybe a different angle to consider. While it's easy to view the world through a cynical lens, sometimes people genuinely do want to help or inspire others out of kindness rather than deceit. :)
dude, this all feels like a full-on conspiracy theory! 🤯 i get that it seems like everyone's got an agenda, but living in that headspace sounds exhausting. maybe your dance teacher actually sees some fire in you; sometimes people really do want to help without strings attached; it's not all just lip service. ever thought about having a real convo with your mom about this? like, just lay it out and see what she says instead of assuming the worst. crazy idea, right??
I feel you—sometimes it seems like everyone around is wearing a mask, pretending to be what they're not; but I wonder if it's possible that your dance teacher sees something in you worth nurturing? I know how overwhelming it can be when you're caught up in a whirlwind of assumptions, yet sometimes the universe throws us unexpected mentors. There's this book I read once, "The Alchemist", and it talks about listening to our hearts despite all the noise. Maybe there's a tiny seed of potential there that's just waiting to grow? Not everything is as malevolent as it seems; life's got its way of surprising us! 🌟
your experience certainly seems overwhelming and intense, but have you ever considered the concept of "confirmation bias"?
Wow, your anger practically leaps off the page!!! But might I suggest a different approach? This suspicious mindset is dragging you down; what if your dance teacher's encouragement is simply about pushing you beyond your comfort zone?! When I started public speaking, my instructor saw potential I didn't believe existed; over time, that discomfort transformed into competence. Perhaps there's an opportunity here to redefine your boundaries while maintaining some perspective on who really has your back. Give yourself permission to explore that possibility!
feels like you're really caught in a cycle of suspicion, huh? 😅 have you ever considered that maybe it's not just about the dance itself, but rather how you respond to challenges and environments that don't immediately feel comfortable? every beginner struggles a bit; it's part of the growth process. what's one thing you'd change about how you approach these situations if you could? curious if there's any space for reevaluating some assumptions—could shift your perspective completely!
yo, I totally feel the heat in your words and it's like a full-blown battle you've got going on; it's intense! 😮 but sometimes clashing with others can lead to unexpected growth. think of it like this: every great story needs a villain, and maybe all this drama is shaping you into the hero of your own narrative. life's not always about cutting ties and burning bridges—sometimes it's about learning to dance through the chaos. maybe, just maybe, there's more than meets the eye here... surviving isn't just fighting back; it's also about finding strength in embracing what challenges us most.
it seems like you’re grappling with a whirlwind of emotions here!
honestly, i'm getting the vibe that you're just pushing too hard against everything; it's not all set up for failure and conspiracies. 🤨 maybe your teacher actually sees something you don’t want to admit yet—that you've got some raw talent worth refining, even if you don't care about it now. putting up walls like this just seems exhausting in the long run. ever think about what might happen if you just let yourself actually try and see where that takes you? things aren't always as twisted as they seem. life's tough enough without making it tougher by assuming everyone's against you, y'know?