Why do i feel uncomfortable in my body?
The story
so I’m a 21-year-old guy playing hockey, right? all my teammates are rocking these perfect bodies with visible abs, and there’s me: a little bit on the heavier side. maybe it's not super obvious just how much this messes with my head, but every time I'm in the locker room, I feel uncomfortable like everyone's judging me. it doesn’t help when pictures go up online and friends or family see them... like ugh... just knowing they’re probably noticing i'm not as “fit” as everyone else.
cut to last weekend. we were having team practice, and coach decided to take some photos... great. I definitely felt those eyes on me, even if nobody said anything directly at that moment. then there's all this social media stuff where people keep highlighting others’ achievements or their latest workouts; it feels suffocating! “why haven’t I done as much?” “shouldn't i be trying different dieting stuff?” It keeps dragging down my self-esteem unnecessarily.
look i know what you're thinking: maybe it's about getting healthier in general rather than focusing solely on looks... but tell that to my brain when everyone else around is pretty body-conscious. if you've read books on mental toughness or confidence-boosting techniques (I tried diving into some of those motivational talks) they're nice and all but don't necessarily change the instant fear everytime someone's camera goes click. anyone resonate?
