i swear it happened again! i'm sitting in this super important meeting. everyone's talking. suddenly i feel detached, like i'm floating or something. it's crazy how the world fades out, you know? can't focus on a damn thing and everything goes fuzzy, ugh!!! makes me nervous that my colleagues are gonna notice or think i'm slacking off; friggin hate this feeling.

just yesterday, i was trying to piece together what went down in our project review. my boss is staring with that 'are you even here' look. hell no i'm not there!!! everyone else just nodding along while my brain's elsewhere... so embarrassing!! tried to stay calm but end up missing key points.

then there's this one part where i just froze?? lost track mid-sentence, like poof...gone! it's like some magic trick that's more life-ruining than amusing. 😅 bet someone thought 'wow what an idiot', sorry but bpd really messes with your head!

gotta admit, scares me thinking job's at risk if they catch on. i mean, how do you own up to dissociating mid-task without sounding nuts? workdays shouldn't involve mental gymnastics!! tired of pretending things are fine when half the time i'm checked out. everyone talks coping skills as if they're easy fixes... wish it were that simple.

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