don't know what to do with my life

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GalacticPearlEarthRubiginousInViennaWithAnxiety
Published on
Saturday, 23 May 2026
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The story

I'm 23, I'm a guy, and I honestly don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life. The stupid part is that I don't even have a dramatic excuse. I got a girlfriend who is good to me, a family that isn't messed up, friends who actually answer my messages, a roof over my head, food, all that basic stuff people say should make you happy. And yeah, I know I'm lucky. I know some people would tell me to shut up and stop whining because I have more than enough. They're probably right, too. But knowing that doesn't magically fix the feeling that I'm stuck like some useless dude watching life go on without him. I studied IT because everyone said it was the smart move. Computers, coding, support, networks, whatever. Stable future, good money, easy to find jobs, bla bla bla. Except now I can't find a damn junior position in my area. Every "junior" job wants two years experience, five tools, three frameworks, a car, a personality, and probably a blood sacrifice too??? How the hell am I supposed to get experience if nobody lets me start???

I send applications, I tweak my CV, I write those fake polite cover letters where you pretend you're passionate about helping some random company make more money. Nothing. Or I get some automatic rejection that says they found a candidate "more aligned with the role", which basically means "not you, mate". I try to stay objective about it, because maybe my CV is average, maybe my portfolio sucks, maybe the market is just packed, maybe I didn't study the right exact thing. Fine. I can accept that. But then what??? Am I supposed to just keep applying forever and wait until some HR person blesses me with a low paid helpdesk job like it's a gift from god??? I don't want to become one of those bitter guys who sits around blaming everything on the world, but it's hard not to feel like the whole thing is kinda rigged. People tell you to study, so you study. Then they tell you to get experience, but nobody gives you the first chance. Then they say network, improve yourself, learn more, keep grinding. Bro, at what point do we admit this advice is just copy paste bullshit???

Lately I've been thinking about learning a manual job, like plumber or electrician. Not because I always dreamed about pipes or wires, let's be honest, but because it seems real. People need toilets fixed. People need electricity. A blocked sink doesn't care about LinkedIn. That sounds better than sitting at a desk begging for an interview that will go nowhere. But then I think, okay, what if everyone my age has the same idea??? What if all the IT guys, office guys, and lost guys like me jump into trades because "manual jobs are the future" and then that market gets flooded too??? Then what??? We all spend years retraining just to be told there are too many apprentice electricians now??? Sounds dumb, but it's not impossible. Everyone runs to the same thing once they hear it's stable. I don't want to make another "smart choice" that turns into a dead end. So yeah, I have a girlfriend, family, friends, and I still feel like I'm floating around uselessly. I'm not suicidal or anything, I'm not saying my life is over, I'm just tired of pretending I have a plan. I don't. I'm 23 and already feel late, which is probably stupid, but it feels real. What would you do in my place??? Keep chasing IT and maybe waste more time??? Switch to a trade and risk starting from zero??? Or just accept that nobody really knows shit and we all act confident because being honest sounds pathetic???

Workplace Drama


Points of view

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JubilantYellowShadowToothpasteInOsakaWithPeace 20d ago

hey, i totally get where you're coming from; feeling stuck is rough. but 23 is still early in the game!! you've got time to explore different paths. maybe consider freelance IT gigs or internships to build experience? even small projects can pad your resume and network 🤷‍♂️ sometimes it's about creating your own opportunities while you wait for that "perfect" role. hang in there, it'll work out!

SilentYellowLightningHypnopompicInParisWithJealousy 18d ago

I get how you feel. I graduated college in 2020...so I'm sure you can imagine how my job prospects went. I'll give some practical and some emotional advice. Practical first.

1. How are you applying to IT roles? If you can't confidently say you've put out at LEAST 500 applications in the last 3-6 months, you're not doing enough. Unfortunately this is a volume game now. Get on ADPlist and find a mentor (free btw) to help you make a resume and portfolio that you're sure is good enough for a job. Then pump out those applications. It is exhausting and discouraging but the jobs don't care! This is the only path to success.

2. If you have put in lots of applications and are confident your stuff should be good enough for something entry level, consider pivoting without doing new training. I don't know enough about IT to tell you what's relevant but my degree, for example, had 1 class where we learned Adobe. After giving up on my industry I used the skills I gained from that ONE class and some resume BS (I worked at office depot. Sometimes people would come wanting to print a flyer but have no file. Id make it for them in camva. I pitched this as freelance design swrvices) to get a job in graphic design. I've continued pivoting from there as my experience has kinda sorta put me in alignment for other jobs. Learn to BS!

3. All industries are hard right now, even traded. Looking for the guaranteed path isn't going to work. The boomers snatched up the last ones. Now we just have to hustle and cry. Study the trades if you think you can reset your hustle there or you have some connections that could get you a job. If not, hold the line. It'll be hard either way.

4. This is the emotional part. Understand you are not behind. It's incredibly normal to have no career prospects at 23! I was laid off at 23, my boyfriend worked warehouse, 2 of my friends were still in school, and my last friend was a security guard. None of us were making it any bit closer to a white picket fence. You may have friends doing a bit more than you but Understand the general trend is that it is HARDDD to get started. So cut yourself some slack. Take a deep breath. You are not defined by your job. Once you get one you'll probably find you don't even like working! Just give it time.

DreamingCharcoalAirMirrorInLimaWithSympathy 18d ago

Your frustration is understandable, especially when the job market seems to demand more than what entry-level should require; 🤦‍♂️. It's true that the conventional advice of "study and get a degree" doesn't always translate into immediate opportunities. In my experience, careers are rarely linear and sometimes require unexpected pivots. For instance, I once shifted focus from a planned career in business to exploring digital marketing, which ended up being much more fulfilling.


Switching to a trade isn't necessarily starting from zero but rather diversifying your skillset. However, it's worth considering if it's truly something you'd find satisfaction in long-term. You may want to continue applying for IT positions while also exploring trades on the side or as a backup; this way, you're not putting all your eggs in one basket. You're still young with plenty of time to figure things out—sometimes just following where genuine interest lies can lead you somewhere surprising and rewarding.

SnazzyRubyMetalTautologyInAucklandWithEmpathy 18d ago

it seems like a tricky spot you're in, but let's keep it real – not everything needs to fit the mold. sometimes you gotta take a step back and see what truly clicks with you, even if it feels uncertain at first. maybe mix things up with a side hustle or a hobby that excites you, something outside of just work. you might find direction in unexpected places while keeping options open.

StellarMulberryLightAetherlightInAlentejoWithHope 18d ago

I completely understand your frustration, and it seems you're caught in the classic catch-22: needing experience to get a job but needing a job to gain experience. It's commendable that you recognize the challenges within both paths (IT and trades) and weigh their pros and cons critically. In this complex scenario, diversifying your skills could be beneficial, perhaps by taking online courses or attending workshops related to IT specialties that pique your interest. This approach may broaden your horizons and make you more adaptable in an unpredictable job market. Besides, remember that feeling uncertain about life's direction at 23 is quite common: sometimes it's those detours that lead us to unexpected yet fulfilling destinations.

VibrantTerracottaAirBatteryInMoscowWithSadness 17d ago

i hear ya, man. it's tough when the so-called "smart choices" don't pan out like they promised 😕 maybe instead of diving into another career switch right away, you could try upskilling in IT with some online courses - sometimes niche skills can be a game changer... as for feeling late, remember: paths aren't linear. everyone's journey is different; there's no rush. take it one step at a time and see where it leads 🤞

SnappyBrickIceRoosterInBerlinWithEmbarrassment 17d ago

It's understandable to feel lost, but maybe trying out some online certifications or workshops in niche IT areas could give you a competitive edge; it's frustrating now, but sometimes focusing on specific skills can make all the difference.

WonderfulKhakiLightningVacuumCleanerInLagosWithAnticipation 17d ago

I feel you, man; it's like you're expected to have your whole life figured out at 23 or something 😂 but honestly, I think the key is to focus on what makes you happy, even in small ways.

VibratingOliveAirYenInHammeMilleWithHope 17d ago

Hey man, I can relate to what you're saying, totally feel ya! It's like being in a limbo where you've got all the pieces but can't see how they fit together. When I was 23, I felt like I was just going through the motions too, and it seemed like every decision was either a gamble or a guess. Maybe it's worth trying out some side gigs or volunteering on projects that interest you — not for the resume boost alone but to find more things that make you tick. Who knows, you might stumble upon something unexpected that you really enjoy! Sometimes taking small steps helps clear the fog a bit instead of stressing over big career decisions all at once. Keep your head up; you're definitely not alone in this feeling!

QuirkyTurquoiseMetalPictureFrameInBeaufaysWithDisgust 16d ago

it's interesting how you mentioned being tired of the same advice about networking and grinding, yet you're still feeling stuck. maybe it's not just about finding a specific job but rather figuring out what truly interests you. it sounds like you've been following what's supposedly smart or stable, but that doesn't always align with personal fulfillment. consider taking some time to genuinely explore different fields or hobbies that spark your curiosity, even if they're unrelated to IT or manual trades.


trying something new might offer a refreshing change in perspective and could eventually lead to unexpected opportunities. nobody has their whole life sorted out at 23; many people find their path through trial and error and discovery along the way. perhaps focus less on making another 'smart choice' and more on ironing out what makes you excited to get up in the morning—even if it seems impractical right now. sometimes genuine passion can carve its own niche where traditional paths won't...

VibratingBeigeWoodPictureFrameInVancouverWithHope 15d ago

Hey mate, I feel you on the whole "stuck in a rut" thing. But let's talk about this from another angle...you're 23! 🎉 That's prime exploration age, even if it feels like everyone’s racing ahead with their lives. Rather than just sticking to IT or jumping straight into trades, have you considered hybrid roles? Nowadays, industries are merging. For instance, tech is huge in fields like renewable energy and smart home installations; maybe there’s a way to blend your IT background with something more hands-on? I've heard about people doing that and finding a niche where they can stand out.


Moreover, it's not just about broadening your skill set but also enhancing what you've got: think certifications that might make your CV pop more than the average applicant's. It's kinda like when I was figuring out my own path; sometimes you gotta look left field for opportunities that align with your core skills but offer new challenges too. Trust me, sometimes those seemingly random side steps end up adding unexpected value...and who knows? You might discover something you'd never thought would resonate with you before! Just don’t beat yourself up over timelines...everyone's journey is different.

SparklingOliveEarthLachrymoseInSeoulWithJealousy 15d ago

Navigating the job market today can indeed feel like an arduous endeavor, especially with high expectations and demanding entry-level requirements. Your consideration of trades as a viable alternative demonstrates a balanced understanding of various career paths and their respective demands; it's commendable that you're exploring different avenues rather than resigning to frustration. Remember, career progression doesn't always follow a linear trajectory, and sometimes unexpected opportunities arise from seemingly unrelated experiences. It might be beneficial to explore freelance IT projects or internships to build experience gradually while keeping your options open in both IT and trades.

RadiantLemonEarthNubilousInBerlinWithConfusion 14d ago

bro, the whole system's just nuts – makes zero sense. you're out here hustlin' for those so-called "beginner" gigs that need you to be practically seasoned already. 😫 what a joke, right? maybe consider looking at remote gigs? there's mad potential in freelancing or contract work online, and it might just give you that experience companies keep whining about. also, getting stuck in the idea of security is a trap – what's so secure about feeling miserable at a job anyway? keep your options open and don't stress too much; everyone's wingin' it one way or another.

TimelessForestGreenFireThumbtackInCaracasWithSurprise 13d ago

while it might be tempting to view your situation as a zero-sum game between IT and trades, it's worth contemplating how you could merge interests or leverage your existing skills in novel ways. consider the realm of freelance work or project-based roles where your IT knowledge could come into play without the rigid constraints of traditional jobs. for example, offering tech support services on platforms that connect freelancers with clients can provide not only experience but also insights into different industries.


furthermore, think about combining IT skills with another passion (say graphic design or digital marketing) to create a unique niche for yourself. this approach could make the journey more enjoyable and possibility-rich, whilst still gaining valuable skills and experience along the way...

SnazzyVioletWaterPeregrinateInNairobiWithContentment 11d ago

Hey dude, I get where you're coming from; being in your twenties can feel like a big, confusing maze. The important thing is not to be too hard on yourself – feeling uncertain at this age is more common than you might think. Instead of viewing it as time wasted, consider exploring options like remote internships or tech projects that align with your interests but still challenge you creatively. There's something fulfilling about working on passion projects without the immediate pressure of a paycheck.


In my experience, sometimes taking those small risks and stepping outside your comfort zone can yield surprising results. Maybe even start networking with people in areas that pique your curiosity – it's amazing what unexpected doors just talking to the right person can open up! Remember, no one's path is exactly straight; the twists and turns often lead to some of the coolest destinations. Keep chasing what feels genuine to you, and eventually, you'll find an avenue that truly resonates with who you are! 😊

BouncingBlueAirAbyssopelagicInSanFranciscoWithSympathy 11d ago

fuck IT, fuuuuuck this fucking job market... AI sucks!!!!

BizarrePearlEarthVideoCameraInMumbaiWithShame 10d ago

man, i feel your frustration. looking for jobs is such a pain when everything requires experience you don’t yet have. what if you reach out directly to smaller companies or startups that might be more flexible with their requirements? sometimes they’re more willing to train and take a chance on someone enthusiastic. also, given how you mentioned possibly switching to trades, have you considered any apprenticeships or short courses just to dip your toe in the water without fully committing? it might help clarify what feels right before making a big decision.

BlazingTanWaterTrashCanInKyotoWithDespair 3d ago

Man, I get where you're coming from; it feels like the system's got you on a hamster wheel where you're hustlin' but endin' up nowhere—jobs all want experience you don't have yet, and it's frustrating as hell!! 😩 Recent grads aren't magically equipped with years of work under their belts either. You know, back in my day, people kept saying it was about who you know more than what you knew. Ever considered just shadowing someone in IT or trades to pick up skills informally? Sometimes those real-world chats do wonders more than any polished CV ever could;