how to not be sensitive?
The story
how to not be sensitive? so i've just started my first job and it's been quite overwhelming to say the least. i find myself getting overly emotional whenever someone comments on my performance, and the inevitable critique comes in about my reports or presentations and it's like i'm being sliced open with a scalpel, very precise yet very painful. perhaps it's an indication of my inadequate coping mechanisms; nonetheless, i've endeavored to comprehend why precisely i'm letting this get under my skin to such an extent. it is said, in various management tomes that one should cultivate a resilience to workplace feedback, akin to developing a callous against friction but if only implementing this was as elementary as acknowledging its necessity.
feedback loops are integral to refining one's skills within any occupation but when 'constructive criticism' feels more like a personal affront than a professional recommendation, it's somewhat challenging to adjust one's perception accordingly. theoretically understanding that feedback is indispensable for professional growth does not necessarily equate to emotionally withstanding the impact of such evaluations which evidently strike at the very core of one's professional identity. research suggests adapting an analytical rather than an emotional response might facilitate improved outcomes yet there's an innate human tendency towards defensiveness when confronted with perceived imperfections. disseminating extensive articles from psychological publications on adaptive feedback reception hasn't ameliorated my response thus far; conversely, it seems convoluted jargon provides scant solace when facing real-time assessments.
moreover there's this juxtaposition within corporate culture promoting openness while inadvertently encouraging competition among colleagues creating paradoxical expectations that foster sensitivity rather than resolve it: whether through unspoken hierarchies or explicit directives urging you onwards toward unattainable excellence benchmarks that shift like the sands of time seemingly beyond grasping unless you're some prodigious wunderkind destined for leadership roles beyond the mortal realm. i'm cognizant that possessing delicate sensibilities isn't beneficial nor sustainable long-term yet determining effective strategies remains elusive much akin to chasing shadows - forever present yet perpetually elusive.
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Points of view
maybe just take things less personally idk.
lol yur too sensitive get over it ppl will always give feedback its normal its not meant meanly tho.
i totally get where you're coming from. being new in a job is already a lot to handle, and then having feedback thrown your way can feel like salt in the wound. one thing that might help is finding a mentor or someone you trust at work to discuss this with—they might offer insights on how they deal with feedback too. i've found that when i put myself in the shoes of those giving the critique, it sometimes helps me see it as them genuinely trying to help rather than tear me down. i've also tried practicing mindfulness techniques before going into stressful meetings; a few deep breaths can sometimes make all the difference in keeping emotions stable 🤔 understanding that everyone experiences these challenges at times might further ease some of that emotional burden. takes time, but you'll get there!
this whole idea of toughening up for feedback seems kinda like a one-size-fits-all solution that just doesn't cut it in the real world. it's like trying to tell everyone they should enjoy jogging when some folks are just not built for that routine, ya know? 😜 maybe you can start by giving yourself some grace and time to adjust rather than instantly labeling your reaction as "too sensitive." we're all wired differently and sensitivity can actually be a strength when balanced with self-awareness and positivity. don't be too hard on yourself!
sounds like a tough spot, no doubt about it. i think it's worth considering that not everyone who critiques actually knows how to give feedback properly. sometimes it's on them, not you. keep in mind, most people are just focused on their own stuff and aren't as fixated on your errors as you might think they are.
hav u tried askin ur colleagues how they deal w/ feedback?
feedback helps you grow, just remember that.
I totally get the struggle you're describing! It's crazy how feedback can feel like a personal attack, especially when starting out. One thing that helped me was to remember that every piece of feedback is just data. Think of it like tweaking a recipe; it's all about adjustments and experimenting until you find what works best for you. Also, do you think there's a way to separate the delivery of feedback from its content? Sometimes people aren't great at phrasing things gently, but there might still be something valuable in their message if you sift through it.
i used to feel kinda similar when i started working too.. overtime I realized most people don't mean harm by their comments but sometimes there are jerks out there who enjoy putting others down. finding a healthy way to process those situations really helped me eventually stop thinking about their words altogether once i left for home, obviously takes effort though.
Have you thought about how your own expectations might be playing a role in this? Sometimes we're our toughest critics, setting the bar unrealistically high for ourselves. What if you shifted focus a bit to celebrate small wins and improvements rather than just zeroing in on critique?
critique is necessary but can sting.
hey, i totally feel ya on the struggle with feedback. reminds me of my first gig where i'd seriously agonize over every single word from my boss like it was the end of the world or something; over time though, i found it helpful to set specific goals based on what they said rather than just stewing over it. kinda like a mini project for myself? little steps can help keep perspective in check while still feeling productive. also never be afraid to check in whether those feedback sessions accurately align with expectations; it's all part of learning the ropes at work and sometimes that needs tweaking too. hang in there and remember, nobody's perfect right off the bat – growth takes practice and patience!
talk 2 hr maybe
Finding yourself in this predicament where feedback feels like a personal affront is understandable, especially when you're just starting out. Have you considered that defining clear boundaries for yourself and verbalizing them gently could serve as both a protective mechanism and an empowering stance? While maintaining professionalism, make sure the feedback environment becomes less about vulnerability exposure and more about reciprocal growth. It's not necessarily weakness to advocate for an evaluation method that aligns with your learning style; perhaps this could facilitate a healthier absorption of critique and mitigate emotional strain. 😊
just let go!
you know, sometimes we just need to take it easy on ourselves; it's normal to feel a bit raw at first, but what if instead of trying not to be sensitive, you accept it and see how that awareness can guide you in building thicker skin over time?
i remember starting out in retail and feeling exactly like this whenever someone pointed out a mistake i'd made during shift changes or stock checks... what worked for me was focusing on what could improve rather than wallowing too long on any given error... over time you'll feel stronger about handling these moments without feeling as hurt personally.
It sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to get everything right immediately; that's pretty common when starting a new job. The thing is, everyone struggles at first and those who seem like they have it all together probably went through the same stuff but just don't show it anymore. Try focusing on self-compassion and maybe even talking to someone you trust about how you're feeling so it doesn't bottle up inside. It’s okay to be sensitive, just gotta find ways to handle it better over time 🙂
don't overthink it
is there anyone at work you trust enough to talk about this?