how to not let people get to you?
The story
Starting a new job is always mixed with excitement and anxiety. Everything's new, from the tasks to emotions swirling around you. Recently I've discovered that one of my greatest challenges isn't mastering the job itself, but managing the snide remarks and critiques coming from colleagues. It’s hard not to let these comments hit me where it hurts 😔. No matter how much I remind myself that their words don’t define who I am or my capabilities, they somehow manage to worm their way into my thoughts and linger. Anyone else has tips on erecting a mental shield against such negativity?
Of course, maintaining confidence in my professional capabilities while shrugging off judgments is easier said than done. It's like strolling through an emotional minefield where every step threatens an explosion of self-doubt and introspection. Often times when someone makes a seemingly innocuous comment – something along the lines of 'really... That's how you'd approach this?' – it sends me spiraling into overthinking mode 🤔. How does one not internalize every little jab?
I've read somewhere, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy.’ Trying to permit myself to believe that what others say about me speaks more about them than it does about myself could be part of the solution. But honestly, it's tough 😓! Whenever criticism taps me on the shoulder, logic tends to flee out the window, replaced by worry dotted with questioning glances at assumptions once held firm within ourselves. I know that building resilience will take time. However if anyone out there has strategies or maybe words grounded in experience that helped them to some zen state of indifference towards negativeness... Well I’d appreciate!
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Omg totally! happened 2 me too at my old work place lol drove me nuts...
:/ i feel your pain
Have you considered seeking advice or mentorship from other positive coworkers? It might give you both clarity and reassurance knowing not everyone shares those negative views about you.
Thanks for the suggestion! I did chat briefly with a supportive coworker during lunch the other day. She laughed about how everyone makes mistakes and shared some of her own early blunders at this job. It was oddly comforting despite the overcooked lasagna...
Blocking out negativity can feel like trying to dodge raindrops but remember, these folks criticizing might just be reflecting their own insecurities.
idk seems like u just gotta stop caring so much what others think they probs dont even mean half of wat ur thinking chill out
Man, I totally get you about starting a new job. Back when I started my last gig at a tech company, one of the seasoned developers would make little digs at my coding style like, "Oh, that's an... interesting way to do it." 🙄 It used to bug me so much because I'm pretty self-critical too;
But then I realized those comments often say more about their insecurities than your capabilities. Sometimes I'd just nod and carry on or even humor them with a joke to break the tension. It's not foolproof, but it helped me put things into perspective. You've got this!
It's comforting to hear someone else gets it. I remember once, a coworker commented on my presentation slides saying, "Bold choice for a corporate setting." I felt myself tense up immediately. But then I thought, maybe they were just trying to sound knowledgeable? Next time I'll try responding with a lighthearted remark too... Thanks for sharing your experience.
sometimes in a workplace, you encounter colleagues who seem to have made it their mission to undermine others with their cutting remarks, but viewing these criticisms as opportunities for growth can help shift your mindset; think of them as unsolicted feedback that might just be concealing a kernel of truth.
So what?
I guess it's a big deal to me. Trying not to let things bother me but it's hard sometimes, you know?
In our personal development journey, facing criticism is essential for growth. By not taking things personally, we challenge ourselves to stay confident in our unique path.
maybe try focusing on the things you can control, like setting small achievable goals each day to keep your mind occupied with positive progress instead of letting those comments get under your skin.
That’s a good idea, focusing on achievable goals could shift attention away from negativity. Small wins might help reinforce self-worth too. I’ll give it a shot!
honestly i hear you, dealing with those snide remarks is tough; it's like trying to ignore a persistent mosquito buzzing around your head 😅 maybe try keeping a journal where you jot down positive feedback or things you've accomplished at work; looking back on it might help reinforce your confidence when others start getting under your skin.
Yo, I totally feel where you're coming from. Starting out in a new gig is this wild mix of excitement and dread, right?! Those snide remarks can really get under your skin like splinters you can't quite pluck out. 😩 Sometimes it helps to mentally classify those comments as background noise... static that doesn't deserve your attention. Maybe try focusing on the positive feedback you receive, no matter how small, as a way to counterbalance the negative vibes. And hey, don't forget to take some deep breaths and give yourself credit for what you've achieved so far!
I wouldn't worry too much.
totally feel you on this one. when i started my first job, it was a constant battle between self-doubt and trying to project confidence in front of everyone else; what helped me a bit was just setting small achievable goals for myself every week. nothing crazy, just stuff I knew would make me feel accomplished regardless of what anyone else might think or say. focusing on those gave me some mental armor cuz i'd have proof of my own progress. maybe it'll work for you too? it's like giving yourself evidence that you're doing alright even if the noise around suggests otherwise... hang in there!
Oh, I totally feel you on this. It's like you're walking through a field of hidden landmines with each comment setting off anxiety rather than offering constructive feedback, right? When I started at my new job last year, I'd scribble down all the weird backhanded comments in a notebook. It sounds odd, but seeing them written out helped me realize how petty they seemed in black and white. Plus, having a buddy outside work who listens to my rants really takes the edge off those bruising remarks. Maybe turning it into something tangible could help distance yourself from the sting?? Just a thought!
That's actually not a bad idea, turning those remarks into something tangible could be pretty freeing. Putting them on paper might show how silly they are, especially when taken out of context. Thanks for the suggestion! Having someone to vent to outside of work also sounds really comforting.
yeah that's true but maybe there's also some truth in the feedback sometimes
Sometimes we focus too much on external validation when we should listen more keenly to our own inner voice.
;) very wise thought
Although negativity can sting initially its power over us weakens if we create moments of self-affirmation consistently which can shift our perception towards positivity gradually.