It's very difficult for me to let go of that blockade, because it was a bitter experience, very hard for me. Living with that feeling of being blocked for so long was awful, terrible, something I never want to relive. It's horrible to be blocked at your own workplace; it's dreadful. You feel completely excluded, marginalized, out of touch, without any appreciation whatsoever, especially when the authorities do absolutely nothing. It's unbelievable, the lack of consideration is brutal. But of course, the point is that being blocked, in a way, doesn't necessarily mean you're blocked. The fact that a communication channel is closed doesn't necessarily mean communication has been cut off. It's necessary to adapt the relationship to the situation, especially if there's a work-related aspect involved, in order to make the whole thing truly effective. My friend decided to dedicate herself to it, to commit herself fully. She couldn't allow her efforts to be wasted. She was actually looking out for us, for the work; she acted collaboratively with it, and she certainly did a great deal of good. Of course, I'm speaking from my own perspective, and legally speaking, I'm as clean as the paper it's written on.

What happened at the office was a nightmare. Because of this mental block, I've felt dizzy, like I'm having trouble moving around normally, like I always do. I've had to be indifferent to certain situations, and I feel like it's been harder for me to be at the office because those cases where there are possibilities, where there are resources, aren't being taken into account. In fact, I feel like, because of this mental block, I'm sacrificing my work for the sake of us. But something has to be done; we can't just pretend nothing is happening, not at all. It's difficult for me to get around at work with this block, because I also feel that there will be times when it will be necessary to contact my friend, but the bosses themselves think it's not necessary, when it is, it is, it's not a matter of putting up with it, of pretending nothing is happening, I'm made invisible in my work spirit, it's made clear that I'm not part of the coworkers, I'm excluded from the office for good, with that block, I'm left out, and a few simple hugs don't make a difference. I don't sit in the office because I'm not part of the whole office, because I've been completely restricted from one part, and an office is all of its parts. But I don't think they understand that at all. I've definitely had to live like that, marginalized, outside the office, and nobody has noticed at all. And if I do say something, people will focus not on ethics, but on immediate consequences, because I don't perform any specific function. They don't think about the worst-case scenario, but rather about the current normality, something I used against my boss to corner him, to make his arbitrariness his worst nightmare, because that's precisely where his problems came from—when I stood up for him, when I was able to recognize when he was out of control, and in that way, expose his tyrannical spirit once and for all.

Anyway, I don't feel like I belong in that office, and what it says on paper is a complete lie. It's barely a payroll. I think I sought it out lately to lessen the marginalization as much as possible, simply trying to make her my friend at all costs so I'd feel compensated for it. After several blocks, of course, after going through so much, in a desperate attempt to avoid feeling trapped, I don't think the authorities understand this at all. They can be however they want, their senses can act as they please, they can do whatever they want because they're pleased by others, by her, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm definitely dispensable, not at all. Seeing her post in the group chat hurts because I have to live at the mercy of uncertainty, have to find third parties to talk to her, and also find myself under her restrictions, just like what happened with my boss. I feel like I tore my boss to shreds by not standing up for me against this marginalization, by trying to silence her at all costs, by not doing anything about it. Well, resorting to aggressive, coercive tactics with her was the last straw and made me do everything possible to bring that criminal spirit to light.

In that office, they know absolutely nothing about mental health, and I have to navigate this constant tension to prevent them from telling me to just ignore her. They're not interested in human resources, they don't care, it's not a concern for them at all. They're completely out of touch with what a work structure is, and for that reason, I'm not going to waste my breath on them.

Let them resolve their problems and issues among themselves; after all, they are the ones who know best. Personally, I feel I can live without this girl, friend, whatever she is—it's shameful to call someone a friend who fired me, who got me fired, without any justification, in defense of my rights, even though I was well-placed. But I was never going to stop being a good citizen for her sake; in fact, I was going to strengthen my commitment, I was going to act as best I could, all to do my part, which, by the way, was appreciated later on at the company. But it wasn't free; it came at the cost of everyone now being embroiled in conflict, of a living hell being sown. Of course, I moved pieces, I moved funds. I think if the law had helped me, it would have created even worse problems for others, unfortunately. But seeing how I acted to do my part, to promote the greatest possible harmony on her part, and seeing how that company became a hellhole instead, with that girl, that feeling that I'm okay with her, within my means, and they aren't, is something I somehow feel. That's more rewarding than the law, because somehow it makes them feel like I do, that feeling of being singled out, that feeling of her being with you and you not knowing why, that feeling of being disoriented. It's gratifying that they're finally putting themselves in my shoes. And what's even more gratifying is the risk of her blocking me again, so that this girl will come face to face with someone she'll actually be afraid of, someone who will make her face the consequences of her actions. It's exposing her to someone with whom things aren't easy, by having the fights she's currently having at the company, putting everyone at risk of something happening, of turning everything into a living hell, of making them feel like they can't take it anymore. Seeing that point makes me feel completely relieved, because it makes me see that they're going through what I did, and that no one else saw. Ironically, even though I'm the one who could talk the most, I do nothing. I turn a blind eye, just like they did to me.

As for my boss, well, let him see what life is like, let it play tricks on him, let it put him in the middle of anger, in the middle of something that shouldn't have happened, let it make him lose everything, let it disturb his peace. That's what my last moments with him were like, and by the way, in his case, it really weighs heavily on him, it's enough to make that office his tomb. He doesn't care about my peace, and I'll do the same to him. He used to make a living by turning a blind eye and creating problems for me, with the girl doing her thing with me, without him seeing a thing. Now the situation has changed. Now I'm him with him, and the girl is doing things with him. The roles have changed, so that once and for all, they learn to respect me. Unlike all of them, I'm perfectly legal, but they aren't, not among themselves, and I'm not going to do anything about it to protect him. I'll turn my back on them. It's their problem if they come out looking good or bad; let them see what they do to me.

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