so here i am, 28, a freelancer consultant in this big IT company where everybody seems older and way more experienced than me… or at least they think so. 😔 every time i walk into a meeting or even just show up at my little cubicle (which by the way feels like a prison cell), i can sense the vibe. they don’t say anything directly, but it’s all there in the way they look at me, the way they nod without really listening when i suggest something. it’s like i’m just some annoying intern who got in by mistake. i keep trying to show i know my stuff, i read all the documentation, i stay late, i help whenever someone’s stuck. and still, there’s this wall, this invisible thing between me and them. do you ever feel that too? like you’re screaming into a void and no one cares?

sometimes, i even think maybe it’s my age, like they see me as this little kid trying to play in the big league. i mean, yeah, i’m younger, but that doesn’t mean i don’t know what i’m doing. 😤 i’ve had my own projects, worked with clients who were a nightmare and still pulled through, and now i’m here, and it’s like all that doesn’t matter. just because i’m younger and not part of their inner circle, it’s like they decided i don’t deserve to be taken seriously. what’s up with that? does age really decide how much you should respect someone in a workplace? or is it just some old-school mentality that’s still floating around? i can’t tell, but it makes me feel invisible, and no matter how much i try to integrate myself, it’s like i’m hitting a brick wall.

i’ve tried everything to fit in. i laugh at their lame jokes, i bring coffee when no one asks, i stay quiet when they clearly dismiss my ideas just to avoid conflict. i even took up this project no one wanted because i thought maybe it would earn me some respect. nope, same cold shoulders, same fake smiles, same nods. sometimes, i just sit there in meetings, pretending to take notes while my mind’s screaming, “what’s the point?” do you ever feel like that? like you’re stuck in this loop where no matter what you do, you’re always seen as the outsider? it’s not even about wanting to be best friends with these people; i just want a little bit of appreciation, a simple “good job” or even a real conversation where they actually listen.

every time i try to talk to someone, it’s like they’re always too busy, too stressed, or just plain uninterested. i get it, we all have stuff going on, but come on, how hard is it to be a little human? i don’t even expect them to throw me a party or anything; just some basic respect would be nice. it’s funny how i’m the one supposed to coach them, and yet here i am, feeling like a little kid trying to prove i belong. 😂 i know it’s not all about feelings at work, but man, it’s hard to stay motivated when you’re constantly ignored. and it’s not like i can just quit, i need this gig, i need the experience, and i need the paycheck. but every day it’s getting harder to drag myself out of bed knowing i’ll just be another shadow in the office.

so here’s my little rant, not looking for sympathy or advice, just needed to let it out. maybe you’ve been there too, feeling unappreciated and stuck in a place where no one seems to care. maybe you’ve tried everything like me, and still ended up being the outsider. or maybe you’re lucky and you’ve never felt this way. either way, it’s just something i had to get off my chest. because honestly, if i don’t vent here, where else? thanks for reading if you made it this far. guess i’ll just keep pushing through, hoping someday someone will finally see me for who i am and what i bring to the table. 🤷‍♀️

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