So, I've been sittin' here for a while try'na wrap my head around this whole mess. Like most guys, I thought I had it all figured out, you know? I'm 43, got a decent job and yeah, married to someone I thought was my partner in crime. But two months back... man, found out she'd been cheatin' on me for THREE freakin' years! 😳 Gutted is an understatement but here's the kicker: we got three kids together and that's the part that makes this so complicated; Can't just pack up and leave when there are little ones involved, right? So staying seemed like the right thing to do.

Now, it's not just about trying to move past it....it's more like trying to figure out how to coexist with the reality of what happened. Working through those feelings every damn day. Some days are better than others though if I'm honest most are pretty rough. Keeping myself busy with work helps a bit but then there's always that nagging question at the back of my mind about whether I'll get over it and if things will truly go back to normal again.....whatever "normal" means now.

People say time heals everything but what they don't tell you is how long it's gonna take or how hard it'll hit you from time to time. There's no magic fix or roadmap for dealing with something like this especially when you got other lives depending on you being strong. Every now and then she tries apologizin', tellin' me it's all in the past. But heck who've they fooled? The trust's been shaken real good...I feel like I'm floundering without an anchor sometimes.

Yet, weirdly enough there's this hope lingering somewhere inside me too: like maybe one day we'll find ourselves lookin' back at this chapter as a phase that made us stronger somehow (sounds cliched even as I type it). Maybe someday I'll let go completely and truly forgive her (and myself) for whatever parts we played....but for now figuring out each day as it comes seems like enough.

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