I cheated on my boyfriend and never told him
The story
I cheated on my boyfriend... there, I said it. And I never told him. Before you start throwing virtual tomatoes at me, let me just explain. Alright? It was a one-night stand that happened months ago. We had this huge fight (like the kind where you're yelling and dramatic...) you know the drill. At that moment, I actually thought we were done for good. So, yeah, I went out with some friends trying to blow off steam.
After way too many drinks (yeah, my judgement went down the gutter) I ended up in bed with somebody just as angry and messed up as I was that night. Woke up feeling like absolute crap about it but thought: "Well, what’s the point of confessing something if we’re breaking up anyway?"
Here’s the kicker though? He didn't break up with me! What?! Instead, he called hours later apologizing for his part of the mess... threw me completely off balance!! He wanted us to work things out while there I was chewing over how to bring myself to tell him but knowing deep inside it'd smash any chance we got left.
Fast forward: he wants to propose now! Seriously?! A thousand voices scream at once - my heart's yelling "Don't ruin this!!", meanwhile some guilty conscience whispers "fess up" each day!! Will someone help me figure this damn thing out?
Talk about a hellish spot stuck between guilt and fear of blowing something solid into smithereens... 😐 I'm torn like paper shredder victims 🤯 but would wreck nothing less by opening up precisely when marriage proposal knocking... Or better yet... Due tomorrow maybe!! *chef kiss sarcasm* 🙄
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Points of view
You need to take responsibility. Unfortunately you made the wrong decision to do what you did. And you need to own up to that. So tell him, knowing that you have broken his trust. Knowing that it will likely end the relationship. Don’t drag along someone knowing you did something wrong. There’s a possibility that he might work with you on this, but don’t bet on it. You need to develop better coping mechanisms and better conflict resolution strategies.
Wow, I totally get it, kinda like this mess I've made drags on me all day. Reminds me of when I thought lying about certain finals grades could "save" things at home. Spoiler: avoiding the truth always came crashing down eventually... just not sure if I'm ready for that hit yet...
If you have a therapist, you should definitely find work on a script and practice this. It’s not easy, but it’s the more responsible and respectful thing to do. It sounds like you have some work to do, but you can do it.
Ugh, a therapist... never thought I'd be considering that route but maybe it's time. The idea of working on a script feels weird though like rehearsing lines for some tragic play, you know? But I get it... better to face this head-on than let it eat at me.
It’ll be better for you and for your boyfriend. There’s no good timing, and no right way to say it. That’s the honest truth. It’s the only way for you guys to move forward and past this. The script is only for you to prepare yourself for what you’d say, and potentially prepare yourself wit what he might say, especially since this is so intense. It’s not to be inauthentic but to be as authentic to what you actually mean and think. He means a lot to you, so you have to do your best. You can do this. The fact you asked shows that you have a conscience.
That makes a lot of sense, actually... The thought of preparing a script is kind of intimidating (feels like planning for some emotional bomb) but at least I'll have something ready if/when I decide to do it. It’s comforting to know that having a conscience might mean I can handle this. Thanks for pointing these out!
yeah omg i totally get this!!! happened 2 years ago with me too lol after huge fight assumed its over hookedup at club regretted same like ur voicing gotta say didnt tell sums it personally resolved now strong relationship lesson learned chaotic split is percieved reality...
so what?
"so what?" might sound dismissive but it's great perspective.
Dude, it matters a ton! My whole world is on the line here. Betrayed him and now he’s talking marriage? That's huge. Ughhhh.
man, that's a real tricky situation you're in; emotions flying everywhere. i'm all for honesty but damn, sometimes timing is everything. maybe think about why it happened in the first place and if it's something you'd risk happening again? everyone's got their own line to walk and it's not always black and white! whatever you decide, do it with your whole heart 💔
Yeah, timing really does suck in this mess. I didn't plan on getting stuck between secrets and significant others... It just spiraled faster than I could think straight! Gotta figure out what's best soon though, or risk losing it all.
wow, what a rollercoaster you're on! i'm torn for you because it's not just about the mistake but also how it affects everything moving forward... like this potential marriage proposal. i can't imagine the weight of carrying that secret around, it must be intense. maybe it’s worth thinking about what kind of foundation you want with him going forward? secrets have a way of eating at us even when we think they’re buried deep. whatever you decide, make sure it's something you can totally live with long-term without regrets!
Man, that sounds like a really tough spot to be in! It's wild how sometimes life just throws you those curveballs right when you're least ready for 'em...
Damn, that's a tough spot for sure. Honestly, it's like you've got this ticking time bomb in your pocket and you're just waiting for it to explode. It's tricky 'cause on one hand you wanna protect what you have now, and on the other, there's that constant nagging in your head pushing you towards honesty. Maybe consider how you'd feel if the roles were reversed? Would knowing change your decision to stay or leave? Not saying there's any right answer, but thinking of his perspective might help sort out what's next. Good luck handling all that emotional spaghetti...
You know, from my take on this situation, it's like being caught in one of those sitcom mix-ups where people just keep piling lie on top of lie thinking it'll somehow sort itself out...but honestly, does it ever?
it's really hard to sit with that guilt, i get it, but maybe think about how honesty could be the foundation you both need; sometimes we underestimate our partner's resilience and like the saying goes, "truth is stranger than fiction".
Man, you're really in deep! Cheating sucks, but sometimes people do stupid stuff when they're mad or drunk (not excusing it tho!). But keeping this a secret when he's planning to propose?! Feels like you're adding lies on top of the mess. Maybe it's time for some brutal honesty 'cause imagine if tables were turned? Figure out what you wanna do or risk living with this guilt forever 🤔;
Why not just tell him?
It's complicated. Maybe I should, but the timing just feels like a bomb ready to go off. Scared it'll blow everything apart, you know?
It sounds like you're really stuck in a difficult spot, balancing this secret with the potential future you both might have. One thing to consider is how this decision affects your own peace of mind long-term; if you're constantly stressed and anxious about it, it'll likely impact your relationship at some point anyway. 🤔 In moments of uncertainty, I find asking myself what aligns most with my values helps guide tough choices: what kind of person do you want to be moving forward? You mentioned dealing with consequences from past actions before... maybe reflecting on those experiences can offer insight into handling this situation; also remember that nobody's perfect and relationships thrive on growth and learning together.
I had a similar experience once, and telling my partner was tough but necessary.
while i can't downplay the seriousness of your situation, it's crucial to recognize that holding onto this secret in hopes it'll never come out is a bit like playing russian roulette with your relationship. every day you keep quiet spins the chamber again; might seem risky, but think about how a truth coming from you now could have more integrity than being found out later through other means. consider laying all the cards on the table soberly and rationally discussing it with him before committing to anything as significant as marriage; relationships are dynamic ecosystems, after all, and you're not alone in whatever fallout comes next. wishing you strength and clarity in your decision-making process 🙂
I know, it feels like a ticking time bomb. Ugh, this sucks. Just the thought of laying all that out makes my stomach churn but I can't keep going 'round in circles forever... it's like choosing between drowning right now or later. Your words make sense though and maybe it's time to rip that band-aid off. Thanks for speaking some sense into me!
This situation feels incredibly complicated yet familiar from when I messed up during a confusing patch in my own relationship last year without ever spilling... led us through loads repaired trust eventually made stronger gotta say cherish it all more than ever!
Yeah maybe complicate glaring struggles too soon rupture hush means secure bond ironically thinking they share strengthened hurdles together already decision pending!
How do you feel about maintaining secrets long-term? Do you think honesty could potentially be even harder now compared to future confessions or be beneficially preventative altogether?
I really suck at keeping secrets, especially one this huge. It's like carrying around a backpack full of rocks every day! I'm worried it'll only get heavier, you know? But confessing now feels like I’m about to detonate the whole thing... So maybe future me has to pull the trigger when it’s a bit less explosive? Maybe that’s cowardly though, ugh.