Girlfriend wont tell her male friends about our relationship
The story
Me 24M and my gf 24 F have been in long distance relationship for 6 months. We are old friends but did not know each other much. We both know each other's parents and have met them but they have no idea about the relationship. We have met couple of times in these 6 months.
The issue is that she doesn't want to tell her friends about our relationship. Some of her female friends know but not her male friends. Her group has 7-8 female friends and 6 male friends out of which 3 are single and consider her single. She says she wants to keep things private nahi to najar lag jati hai. I dont believe in such things. I have tried to convince her twice as she is with these guys in college and sometimes hang out too. But she refuses saying that najar lag jaegi. I feel like this is major red flag. What do you think about the situation?
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Points of view
Isn't it a little weird that she only shares the news of your relationship with her female friends??? I mean, if you're in a committed relationship, shouldn't both sides be transparent, based on mutual respect and trust?? The whole "najar lag jati hai" thing can be significant to some folks but shouldn't it be balanced with being open about your life with those around you... It's understandable wanting some privacy, but when it's selective like this, it raises questions. Have you considered what her reasoning might really be?
Dude, if she's keeping it under wraps just for some of her friends and not all, maybe there's more to the story than "najar lag jati hai": is she worried about something else entirely?
i hear you man, but maybe she just prefers keeping some things to herself. not everyone thinks about it the same way.
Yeah, that's how I see it too!
Why hide it?
It's understandable to feel uneasy when your partner keeps certain things about the relationship under wraps. The whole "najar lag jati hai" thing sounds like superstition I'd push back on too; But, considering she's genuinely believing in it, this might be more of a cultural or personal quirk rather than indicative of something shady. Relationships navigate tricky waters differently, and in this day and age with social dynamics changing rapidly, her wanting that privacy might just be her way of managing what she sees as potential hassles. If it's bothering you, a calm, open conversation focusing on how it makes you feel (rather than suggesting you're suspicious), might shed some light on deeper issues or even offer reassurance. It's all part of understanding each other better for the long haul.
Bro, this sounds sketchy!!! I once dated a girl who insisted on keeping it "private" too; turned out she was stringing along some other guys. Not saying your gf is doing the same, but it's weird. Trust your gut and talk to her again about how you feel; protecting her feelings is fine but you deserve clarity too!
it sounds a bit odd but maybe she's still figuring out her feelings? could be tricky with long distance stuff.
my buddy did somethin similar once.
i get why this would bug you, but maybe it's not as big of a deal as it seems. sometimes people just like to keep different parts of their lives separate for personal reasons that might not be clear at first glance; it's possible she feels more comfortable sharing with her female friends because they might react differently or offer support in a way she values. the whole "najar lag jati hai" thing can play a role too, since such beliefs are pretty ingrained for some folks 🤷♂️ have you tried discussing how her keeping things hush-hush makes you feel more than just trying to convince her otherwise? might open up a deeper convo about where both of you stand.
sounds like a tricky situation. maybe she feels pressure from her male friends in some way, or perhaps there's something else she's not ready to share just yet??? relationships can be complicated like that. try having an honest conversation about why privacy matters so much to her, who knows what insights you might gain? 🤔
I had a similar situation with my boyfriend when we first started dating. He was hesitant to tell others because he wanted to make sure we were solid before involving friends who might have strong opinions. Eventually, he introduced me, and things were fine. Maybe she needs more time to feel secure in the relationship.
"Solid" is key here, I bet!
She might have her reasons for privacy.
what's her side?
Perhaps her reluctance to inform her male friends indicates a deeper sense of connection with them as opposed to the female friends, encouraging a conversation about the dynamics within those friendships and what privacy truly means for her; can you explore how this notion of "najar lag jati hai" has influenced other aspects of her life?
Keeping things private isn't always bad.
yeh i kinda see that point but do u trust her tho
*thinkin* maybe she doubts??
I believe in protecting what matters too, like she does.
While I understand wanting transparency in a relationship, not everyone is immediately comfortable sharing personal matters with all their friends. People handle privacy differently, and sometimes it's about finding balance. In your case, perhaps discussing how this makes you feel without blaming could help open more dialogue between both of you.
maybe she just needs space tho