i had a bf, i genuinely loved him more than anything in this world, i was ready to do everything and anything for him. i was very serious about him so i thought ok let me do it with him, i was happy at first, but later things changed..

the first time we did it idk it was so lusty but i ignored it. and then as time went he used to become distant and barely texted me, and if we ever met it was only making out and sex, and particularly cuz he kept begging for it. i was very stupid enough to agree to everything although he treats me like im his fwb. he used to beg me for blowjob and sex and he'd keep asking until i say yes, one day i slapped him cuz he was forcing me to do it, he faked his tears so hard BYE WTF. but ukw i still had to console him and let him cry on my shoulders for what he did, i felt so shit, what had i gotten myself into in the name of love. and once again we met, had sex, midway i started crying, i had never weeped so loud infront of a man or anyone at all, i cried and i asked "why dont you love me anymore" he said no i do love you and tried to brush it off, his words never matched his actions, he was cold and distant, used to meet his ex behind my back.

once we had broken up, that time i had flirted with a dude and after few days my bf and i started talking again cuz we thought of getting back and thought we could fix the problem. i came clean and told him bout flirting with someone. he told me tht he never expected this whore behaviour from me, and my periods had been late that month too, he told me he didnt care if i was pregnant and wanted to block me completely. i was scared, but after few months i found out that he had A WHOLE RELATIONSHIP going on right after we had broken up for sometime. he was so egoistic to do tht to me.

things got messier, i kept letting him in me and idk i really was stupid, and then i broke up cuz i couldnt stand it anymore. he used to blackmail me and say shit like i tried to cut myself i hung myself and bs like tht, he didnt let me live in peace, so i told his mom. he texted me with so much anger and said "just cuz you are on your luteal doesnt mean you act up bitch", i was so. i just yea damn.

after i broke up i went thru depression, i realised all this time he was just using me for my body, i genuinely became suicidal and couldnt take it anymore. someone i trusted wanted me only for my body, and still had his eyes wandering even after i gave him everything.

i somehow came out of it and two months passed by.

we started talking again. the worst decision i made. we tried to date again and we stayed for few days we tried to fix everything but nothing worked, i was very insecure and had trust issues, as time went i logged on to his insta acc, i saw so many women. so many fucking women that i just i couldnt, he had called me a bop to everyone in those two months when we werent together and he had done so much. when i confronted him about it he said "my friend did everything". his own friend didnt accept on doing it. it was very evident tht he was lying. the level of pain i had gone thru was so bad but i put myself thru it on my own. right after i broke up and he had tried to message me everywhere and one of the msgs read "go have sex with another guy and get pregnant, if you ever want abortion money just text my friend and ill send it to you" and i had no words, ive lost my v card only with him.

next day after breaking up he went and met another girl and few days later hooked up with his ex. but yea sure im the whore according to him

idk but him using me for my body was the worst trauma ever. its been months and im still not over it

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