bottling up emotions
The story
You know what, I'm honestly at my wits' end. Things with my partner have been like walking on eggshells lately, and it's really ticking me off. It seems like every little thing they do grates on my nerves, and I find myself snapping at them for no real reason. I guess I've been bottling up a lot of emotions I thought I'd dealt with ages ago, but boy was I wrong! There's this unresolved mess with an old friend that left things hanging in the air and every time my partner brings up anything remotely related to it, bam! I'm back there again in all that emotional mess.
It's crazy how something from the past can still punch you in the gut unexpectedly, right? Anyway, this friend and I had this huge falling out over something pretty minor which blew out of proportion because we never addressed it properly. We were thick as thieves back then (always hanging out and chatting about nothing important or everything important depending on the day) and then one tiny disagreement spiraled into complete radio silence 📻. I've obviously got loads of suppressed feelings that didn’t get closure.
Every time those memories pop up when I'm chatting with my partner, they can't figure out why suddenly I'm like a volcano ready to erupt. It's not really their fault (they don't know the whole background saga because I prefer not to talk about that chapter much)I mean who wants to admit they're still hung up over past drama? It's embarrassing laying it all out, you know what I mean? Plus explaining industry jargon just adds another level of complexity because certain terms don’t translate well outside my field!!
Ha! What's weird is sometimes I'll catch myself mid-snap thinking 'What are you doing??' But frustration is already boiling over by then and doesn't care too much for logic or reasoning unfortunately. Things have to change though or our relationship might seriously suffer from this nonsense distraction. So here I am trying venting as suggested by one wise soul seeing if sharing helps lighten the load even just a smidgen.
