[Translated from Tagalog. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]

Fuck, I don’t want this anymore, I’m so fucking tired. I’m already super stressed and exhausted with everything that’s happening here at home and at school. I’m so pressured and all because of my entrance exams that are getting closer, and I’m always reviewing, always hungry, always with nothing to eat—fuck—because my parents have no idea how to handle their money, especially my dad. And he even got hospitalized. Fuck, I know that’s not his fault, but fuck—he said he was going to resign from his company because the workplace is already so toxic and he’s always stressed and overworked there, but he still stayed.

He ghosted me and my family here for almost one month already. We don’t have anything left to pay the bills and loans, fuck that shit. It’s always just debts after debts, and then it turns out he can’t even pay them. He acts like he’s rich, with all these debts he has to pay, and then he makes promises to me like it’s cool—but it’s not. It hurts so much because every promise you made to me—on my birthday, I didn’t even receive a single “happy birthday” from you. Fucking hell.

Are you that ashamed of me already? You should be, fuck, but why would you even ghost us?? What you did was wrong. You should’ve just apologized instead of not talking to us, especially to me. Fuck. And now what? Always hungry. They keep saying I need to understand the situation—fuck??? Am I always the one who has to understand?? Haven’t you learned your lessons from before, when it’s always debts, enjoy now then starve later??? Fuck, it’s always like this.

Good thing I’m still studying hard. I even graduated with high honors. I’m the one searching for whatever universities and scholarships I can apply to. I already pity myself. I’m sick too, you know. There’s not even a cure yet, fuck. You might as well just kill me, fuck. When are you going to change? When will you all learn your fucking lessons? It’s always like this, always, fucking hell.

And now you’re saying you’re tired? Yeah, people get tired—but I’ve been tired of you for a long time already. Did I complain? Did I scream at you? Did I say awful words to you? No. But you? You did all of that to me just because you were tired, fucking hell. Then you shouldn’t have had children in the first place if you couldn’t even support us. Fuck. And then you make us experience and feel what poverty is like. You already went through hardship yourselves—why repeat it again? And then it’s like it’s our fault that we’re alive?? Fuck.

I’ve been tired for so long already. That’s why I ended up having a severe illness with no cure, hahaha. I was so depressed, but you didn’t even know that. I’m so fucking tired. I’m hungry. I want to rest. I’m dizzy. I was supposed to review for my exams tomorrow, and I ended up writing this fucking vent because you were screaming at me without knowing that that was literally my last straw. I’m tired, sleep-deprived, can’t eat properly, hungry. And then you still scream at me and say horrible things?? Fuck.

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