parents yelling

I’m 16, a boy, and I’m writing this because I don’t know where else to put it. My parents are ALWAYS yelling at me, like all the time, and it feels nonstop even when I’m doing nothing wrong. I try to stay polite and calm, I really do, but it still gets loud fast and my head just shuts down. I stand there listening, nodding, waiting for it to end, and I dont even remember half of what they say after. It makes me feel completly worn out, like I’m already tired before the day even starts. I’m not trying to be dramatic or blame them, I’m just explaining what happens. The yelling isn’t one big moment, it’s small stuff adding up, over and over, until it feels heavy. I go to my room after and sit there staring at the wall, feeling depressed and quiet, wondering how something so normal can hurt this much. I keep telling myself to breathe, to be respectful, to not react, becuase reacting only makes it worse and longer. I know they probably think this is helping me, and I try to look at it objectively, but it still sinks into me slowly;

I don’t think my life is terrible, and that’s part of what makes this confusing. From the outside everything looks fine, and maybe it is, but inside I feel tense all the time. The yelling follows me even when the house is quiet, and it makes me doubt myself alot. I do my school work, I clean, I listen, and I stay out of trouble, yet the volume never really changes. I’ve learned to measure my days by how loud they get instead of how good they feel, and that feels sad to admit. Still, I’m trying to stay hopeful in a low key way. I take short walks, think about the future, and remind myself that this won’t last forever. I believe that having my own space one day will matter, and that I can choose to be calmer than what I grew up with. There are moments when my parents talk normally, and those moments show me that change exists, even if it’s rare. I try to stay polite, stay neutral, and not let thier voices become my inner voice. If you’ve dealt with parents yelling like this, how did you get through it without losing yourself? I’m honestly asking, not for attention, but for perspective. Even feeling depressed, I still think patience and consistency can lead to something better, and I want to believe that staying respectful now will help me later, when things are quieter and I can finally breathe.

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