I'm a 44-year-old man, and my sister, whom we'll call Kayla, is 33. She's happily married to Sam, who's 35. Recently, Kayla shared with our family that she and Sam are now romantically involved with a woman named Elise. They seem quite serious about her and even want her join this Thanksgiving's family gathering to properly introduce her to everyone. Our family has its share of conservative members, and personally, while I don't hold any prejudices, this kind of arrangement is unfamiliar to me and I'm unsure how to approach the situation.

Kayla has never openly discussed being bisexual or polyamorous before, so this development came as a bit of a shock to me. How their dynamic works exactly—considering her existing marriage with Sam—is beyond my understanding. Elise seems to be more than just a friend based on what Kayla expressed, and I find myself at a loss.

I tried addressing these concerns during a dinner with Kayla, but she quickly shut me down. She accused me of not grasping the depth of their relationship. I brought up a past incident where Kayla, after having too many drinks at my daughter's Bat Mitzvah, was behaving rather inapproprifrom her husband on the dance floor in front of the kids. I mentioned this to highlight my confusion about what she means by love, which may have offended her. Kayla's response was dismissive, and she suggested that I was narrow-minded.

Telling Kayla that I'd rather Elise not attend our Thanksgiving didn't go over well either. I still stand by my viewpoint although I suspect it hurt her feelings. If I think about a scenario where this was all playing out on a reality show, I can only imagine the heightened drama and wildly varying opinions from the audience. There would likely be a mix of support for Kayla's openness and criticism for introducing such a complex relationship dynamic into a traditionally conservative setting. The reactions would be magnified, with cameras capturing every nuance of the family's interaction with Elise, turning personal reservations and acceptance into public entertainment.

How might the public react to me being on a reality show with this dilemma?

What should I have done in this situation?

What should I have done in this situation?

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