why does my mom always yell at me?
The story
perhaps this is just one of those unsolvable puzzles that life throws at us, but my mom's perpetual yelling has become a daily source of stress for me. it normally starts as soon as dusk falls, which seems strangely rhythmic and yet wholly dissonant with the ambiance that night should provide. I sometimes sit in my room, reflecting on the day that's passed, wondering why she can't find peace or contentment, especially after these extended and heated phone calls she often has.
I'm left to piece together bits of what i hear from those conversations; snippets of agitated speech leaking through walls too thin to be called sound barriers. It's baffling, really. maybe something in her professional or personal domain is amiss?? something she fiercely guards behind the facade of familial duty. But then again, that's more conjecture than insight. every evening morphs into a conundrum wrapped in conflict. trying to interpret whether she's taking out external frustrations on me feels both presumptuous and unfairly reducing human complexity to mere cause-and-effect.
the feeling of unease is compounded because these episodes never unfold uniformly. you might expect a surge after certain interactions like an emotional crescendo that doesn't quite resolve where you'd predict; however, her unpredictable volatility leaves me second-guessing almost everything I say or do around her at night. Is it irritation sparked by another's words that turns into this nightly discord? or perhaps some unresolved conflict within herself she hasn't fully addressed yet? whatever it is, it lingers over us both: an indistinct shadow suppressing understanding.
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sounds kinda weird tho
yeah, it does sound weird. like this one time I thought she was yelling because of something i did, but later I found out her boss had just dumped more work on her right before dinner. so you never know.
i feel for you but maybe it's not always about you personally? i know dealing with adults can be confusing.
that sounds super tough to deal with, and honestly, it's gotta be exhausting trying to figure it all out every night. maybe she's just stuck in a loop of stress and doesn't know how to break free from it; we've all been there with our own stuff at some point. not saying it's an excuse for her behavior, but sometimes people get caught up in their own heads and don't realize how much they're affecting others around them 🤷♂️. could be worth trying to have a real talk with her about how this impacts you, although i know that's easier said than done when emotions are running high. if nothing else, finding your own way to decompress before bed might help make these nights a little less turbulent bro; just something i've tried when things get tense at home.
well, that's quite a situation you got there and it makes me wonder if she might not even realize how deeply her mood affects those around her.
I get the frustration, but it kind of sounds like everyone’s just stressed with their own stuff and sometimes things boil over.
It does make sense that stress could be a big part of it, especially if everyone is juggling their own struggles. But I guess what makes it hard is not knowing how to help or what might diffuse the tension when it starts building up. Thanks for sharing your perspective though, it's comforting to know I'm not misreading the complexity.
Why don't you try asking her directly what's bothering her? It might lead to better communication between you both.
yeah that's crossed my mind before but i'm nervous it'll escalate!
my mom yells too when shes stressed
Wow, that's really tough to deal with every night. It sounds like there's so much going on beneath the surface for both of you. Sometimes it's just hard to know what’s weighing on someone else, especially a parent. Reminds me of when my dad would come home mad from work and we'd all walk on eggshells, trying not to trigger anything worse. Do you ever get a chance to talk about it with her when things are calmer? Even just finding out what's bothering her might help ease some tension between you two.
Have you tried talking to her openly?
Ugh, it's like living with a walking time bomb...
I think you're overthinking the situation a bit here. It might just be that your mother has had a busy day or there are challenges she's going through without sharing them immediately with you. Not everything other people do needs to make sense from our perspective at all times.
that's a fair point. i guess sometimes I just wish there was more clarity. even if she is busy and stressed, it's hard to separate that from the constant noise of her anger.
im not sure what u mean exactly but maybe ur being too sensitive its normal 4 parents to have stress n let off steam n they dont always realize how loud they get when multitasking talking u kno
jeez, that sounds like a tough spot you're in. i can't help but wonder if maybe there's an underlying pattern that's fueling this cycle, you know what i mean? it kind of reminds me of my own situation when my dad used to get really tense after work; turns out he was taking on way too much responsibility but didn't talk about it with us at all. communication is a two-way street, and sometimes folks just need a nudge to open up... yet approaching these things can be daunting for sure. if only there were more clues to decipher what's triggering her stress, you might find some peace of mind yourself; plus, if she knows how it's affecting you, maybe it'll spark some change or at least lead to a better understanding between the two of you? anyway, it's always quite the puzzle dealing with family dynamics; hope things ease up for you!
when my dad used to yell each evening after coming home from work it was like clockwork eventually i realized he wasn't mad at us at all he was just upset with something at his workplace and needed time alone; now we give him space which helps keep things calmer.
i totally get where youre coming from. had similar issues with my dad tossing stress around after his job every night it's tough living with someone who's got outside stress bleeding into family life.