In July 2023, my husband Eric and I welcomed our daughter into the world. Prior to her birth, around Christmas 2022, we had shared our pregnancy news, and both our families were overjoyed. Becoming a mother has been a lifelong dream of mine. Eric’s father, who co-owns a successful multi-million dollar business across multiple states, was particularly thrilled. He showed his support by giving us $4,000 to assist with the medical expenses and for our baby's needs.

Due to regulations in our state, one cannot open a bank account without a Social Security number, which our unborn daughter didn’t have at the time. Thus, we agreed to temporarily keep the funds in our joint bank account. I rarely monitor this account as it's primarily managed at my husband’s bank. All medical expenses associated with our daughter's birth were paid from my HSA account, entirely by me. Later, I opened a bank account for our daughter at my bank, where my dad ended up being the trustee because Eric missed the paperwork deadline.

Recently, while driving home from a function, I brought up the topic of the $4,000, mentioning that I’d like to transfer it to our daughter’s proper account now that she’s a year old. To my confusion, Eric insisted that I had used those funds for the medical bills, claiming they were transferred into my personal account. I clearly proved otherwise by showing him my account history. He then admitted if the money was in the joint account, it was spent on purchasing hunting land—an expenditure I had never approved.

Eric dismissed my concerns, labeling me as ridiculous for even questioning the usage of the money and asserted that our daughter isn’t entitled to it since it was meant for her medical and care expenses—a cost he barely contributes towards. I cover 75% of our daycare expenses and all our grocery and formula/milk bills. Our daughter is also on my healthcare plan, given the poor quality of the plan offered by his family's business. While we split our mortgage payments equally, I had fully paid the down payment. My financial burdens have been mounting, making it a struggle to transfer funds regularly into our daughter’s account; I've been managing to set aside $150 from each paycheck to save for her future needs like college or a car.

This confrontation led me to firmly tell him that this wasn’t a matter of asking—he needed to verify where those funds went.

Imagine if such a family dispute were broadcasted on a reality show. The audience reaction would likely range from sympathy for the wife's responsible financial handling to criticism of the husband’s neglect and disregard for agreed-upon financial plans. Reality shows thrive on conflict, and this situation presents enough tension and moral questioning that it could become a focal point of an episode, drawing viewers to take sides and engage emotionally.

I would love to know if I am being unreasonable for insisting Eric trace the missing money.

I insist Eric traces the missing money. Is it justified?