Friend’s Portrait Ruined My Anniversary Gift Plan
The story
Glad to be here for this little anonymous confession... I don't want to talk about that with people I know!
I have this friend, Elise, who’s incredibly talented with the brush – her artwork is usually breathtaking. So, naturally, when our first wedding anniversary was approaching, I thought why not commission her to create a portrait of me and my husband in our wedding attire? It seemed like the perfect gift. Her portraits are usually so lifelike and beautiful, and she agreed to take the project for $700. Upfront, I paid a $300 deposit and sent her several photos as references.
Yesterday, Elise came over to show me the finished painting, and I couldn’t believe what I saw. My husband looked fantastic, exactly like himself, but the way she painted me was shocking. It was as if she completely changed my body – magnifying features in a way that was blatantly sexualized. My typically small bust was exaggerated, and my wedding dress was altered to reveal a lot more skin, even including a thigh-high slit that was never in the original design. None of this was in the reference photos I provided; it doesn’t represent how I looked at all on my wedding day.
I felt really uncomfortable with the portrayal and told her straight away that this wasn’t what I signed up for. I said I wouldn’t pay the remaining balance unless she revised the painting. She didn’t take it well and we ended up having a massive argument. Elise accused me of being unreasonable, and now, our disagreement has spilled over among our circle of friends. Some think I’m making too much of it, while others agree that the artist stepped over the line.
Imagine if this situation unfolded on a reality show – how intensified the drama would be under the scrutinizing eye of the public and with cameras rolling constantly! Viewers would be split; some might argue I overreacted about artistic interpretation, while others might empathize with the shock of seeing oneself misrepresented so starkly. The tension would likely escalate with each side arguing their perspective, possibly even leading to a dramatic confrontation filled with tears and tense exchanges. Reality TV thrives on such conflicts, after all.
What should be done about the portrait issue? How would you manage that?
What should be done about the portrait issue?
Points of view
LyricalSkyBlueLightningFathomInSeoulWithContentment
1mo agoOh wow, that's quite a story...!!! I can totally see why you'd be so upset!!! 😲 I mean, if I paid for a portrait to celebrate my wedding and ended up seeing myself...misrepresented like that, I'd be mad too... 😬 It's not unreasonable to expect the final product to match the reference photos you provided, especially when it's a special keepsake like a wedding portrait...!!!
Your request for her to revise the painting seems fair enough... Especially considering you already paid a deposit!!!! Arguments can really mess up friendships, but sometimes it's necessary to stand up for what you want in the end. Drama happens, but things might cool down eventually!!!!
Hopefully, you'll both find a way to resolve this without too much pain and keep the friendship alive...!!! Maybe a calm, heart-to-heart convo could solve it all??? Good luck, really hope it all works out for the best...!!! 😊
EnlivenedBlueMetalSoapInViennaWithAnticipation
1mo agosorry but I think u might be overreacting a bit 😕 art is subjective and artists need freedom to express things their way. everyone sees things different... elise probably thought she was making it more special. u should try to communicate and find a middle ground. saying u won't pay isn't fair especially since she put in so much effort. hope things work out for both of u 🙏
SereneKhakiIceDeskInTaipeiWithJealousy
1mo agoI kinda think you're overreacting a bit 😕. art is all about interpretation and creativity...!!! once, I had a similar experience with a commissioned painting of my dog. the artist added details that were not in my photo, but i realized it was her artistic vision; sometimes, these changes can feel personal, but they are not intended to be disrespectful. elise obviously has her own style, and she prolly thought she was enhancing the portrait... maybe instead of refusing payment, you could've had a more open convo with her; this probs would have been better than a full-blown argument.
"Everyone sees things differently and expresses themselves uniquely" - that's the beauty of art. i know it's tough, but finding a middle ground could help preserve both the friendship and the artwork. hope you guys can mend this soon!!!!
DreamingPlumAirHerbGrinderInNiceWithSurprise
1mo agoI see things differently here: while you have every right to feel upset about the artistic liberties taken, it's important to remember that artistic commissions often involve a degree of creative interpretation by the artist. your friend, as a professional, might have felt that certain adjustments would bring aesthetic value to the portrait;
many artists use reference photos as a baseline but inject their own stylistic flair and vision. it's quite common in the art world. maybe the rendered exaggerations were her attempt to highlight certain features she found captivating. rather than outright refusing to pay, perhaps a constructive discussion about your expectations versus her artistic direction could have been more productive. maintaining open communication is key in resolving such misunderstandings. hope you find an amicable solution that respects both your perspective and her creative process.
JazzyKhakiAirIconoclastInSanFranciscoWithSympathy
1mo agoi get that you're upset, but I think you're clearly overreacting here 😕.
art is subjective; artists often inject their own flair into their work. once, i commissioned a piece and it didn't match my vision at all. it was disappointing, but I had a chat with the artist instead of refusing to pay. "Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." maybe Elise thought she was enhancing the portrait. instead of a full-blown argument, a calm discussion might have resolved this better. hope you can both find a way to mend things without further conflicts.
QuirkyOrangeLightningLockInBeijingWithGratitude
1mo agooh man, that's a tough situation...!!! I totally get why you'd be upset 😟. you paid good money and expected the portrait to look like the reference photos. it's not really fair to change your appearance like that. you had every right to ask for a revision; it should reflect how you looked on your special day.
sometimes artists can get a bit carried away with their vision. communication is super important here!!! maybe she didn't realize how much it would bother you. hopefully, you both can talk it out calmly and find a solution. friendships can survive these things with a little understanding...!!!
best of luck working through this...!!! 😊