hello. I honestly am writing this to just vent. I don't have anyone in my life who I can talk to about this.

I have two best friends. They are my only friends really. I have known them since I can remember, our families are all friends.

I am 22 and all I have known my whole life is that they are my best friends.

I won't go into detail but our friendship has had its ups and downs over the years; largely to do with being left out and ignored, them mad when i would attempt to make other friends or even just talk to people they wanted to be friends with, them keeping things from me and gossiping.

Don't get me wrong we have also had amazing memories made. Them and their families feel like my own relatives and are such prominent people in my life. I honestly can't imagine having grown up without them. And I have so much gratitude towards them for making my youth so memorable and important.

Recently one of my friends got married and the other is engaged. I however have never been in a relationship or anything romantic at all.

My friends are drifting away from me. I will try and organise to spend time with them which they will either ignore or say they want to then never follow through. I find out weeks later that they spend a lot of time together just them. I live just over an hour away so I just always tell myself it's just cause it's harder for me to go to them and them to come to me. But lately they just don't tell me anything. I am constantly updating them about my life and asking them and trying for them to tell me about theirs but they don't say anything just a casual 'all good'

I can feel myself chipping away and I feel so alone. I'm not close to my siblings for certain reasons and the only parent that cares about me is my mum.

I've dedicated my whole life into trying to be the best friend for them and now I'm realising that I have no one else. They are pulling away from me and have each other and their other friends. I'm all on my own.

Ive asked them before if I am doing anything to upset them or make them not want to be friends with me. They constantly tell me that im sweet and kind and I'm their bestest friend.

So I just don't understand how or why they put no effort to stay friends with me. I'm tired of being the only one who seems to care about our friendship. I dont want to end our friendship though because they mean so much to me and I don't want to be alone. But I don't know how to keep going like this.

Constantly feeling unwanted and unneeded.

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