how do i stop being an actor

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WonderfulBrownIceCuttingBoardInKualaLumpurWithSurprise
Published on
Wednesday, 15 July 2026
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The story

So guys i need advice like how do i stop being an actor and i dont mean in like a movie no more like i act when im with different peole like im part of this script where my part is of some irrelevant character in a sense like IM only their to build the plot like im always someone different personality different persona like how do i stop that like idk how to feel things kinda in a sense to get love i have to act this way to get people to like me i have to act this how do i be me if i dont even know what being me means like who am i what am like what is me what is my true self i dont know ive been doing this unconsciously for so long that i dont know who i am anymore kinda just like an imitator im just there and i cant even connect with people i just dont know how to be me if i dont know who me even is and even then its probably why no one will ever choose me because they wont even know themselves im just sad i always think i will get betrayed and when it happens in one way or another i think im right happens a couple of times and i dont know anymore guys like idk i really dont know and it doesnt help when no one ever makes the time to choose you to want to be with you or hangout with you what do i do because im going insane trying to figure what i am or who im supposed to be when i dont know who me is

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GalacticSkyBlueWoodIceCubeTrayInBeauvechainWithSympathy 20d ago

yo, it's wild how we sometimes slip into these roles trying to fit in, right? honestly, been there myself where you feel like a chameleon just morphing for others' sake; but real talk, maybe start small. try finding moments where you can drop the act even with one or two people who make you feel less fake. and about feeling betrayed, it sucks but don't let past crap dictate your future connections. take baby steps towards getting to know yourself without the pressure of pleasing everyone else.

JubilantIndigoLightningBouletInWellingtonWithAffection 19d ago

man, that sounds rough. feeling like you're always playing a role and never being your true self must be exhausting. maybe it's time to just take a step back and spend some quiet moments figuring out what you enjoy or value, without worrying about others' opinions. start small. try new things on your own and notice what feels right or authentic for you, no pressure to perform for anyone else. people will gravitate towards your genuine self eventually, but it takes time... don't rush it! being real with even just one person can make all the difference in escaping that cycle of imitation. good luck finding your way through this 🌟

LuminousSkyBlueAirVespineInManilaWithContentment 19d ago

sounds like you're stuck in a messed up loop, forcing you to play a character just so people stick around. becoming something to appease others is exhausting. it's like wearing a new mask every day and losing track of what your own face looks like underneath it all. maybe start by acknowledging when you're putting on an act and ask yourself what's driving that choice each time (fear, desire for acceptance, etc.). over time, you might piece together bits of who you really are without those layers of pretense. but seriously, you need some introspection here: you can't keep running this performance forever without burning out completely.

SpiritedTerracottaEarthVacuumCleanerInLimaWithPride 18d ago

seems like you’re in quite a loop trying to be what others expect. maybe it’s time to just chill with yourself for a bit, no pressure to perform; if you don't know who "you" are yet, that’s cool too 🙂. life's not all about finding some grand identity. it's more about trying different things and people 'til it clicks or feels natural; eventually, you'll notice bits of you shining through this cloud of roles without even realizing it;

GleamingRoseWoodMonitorInRioDeJaneiroWithSadness 18d ago

You're basically living your life as one big improv show, huh? 😂 Maybe the key here is to start questioning all those roles you're taking on. Like, do they really serve you or are they just habits you've picked up like a used jacket at a thrift store? What if you stop worrying so much about being "chosen" by others and instead focus on figuring out what choices make you happy? Trust me, people will be more interested in someone who's genuinely themselves than in another cookie-cutter act. Consider it personal research: try identifying little things that feel authentically 'you' and build from there!

BouncingMidnightBlueMetalStoneInBerlinWithAmusement 17d ago

hey, i feel for you and it sounds like you're in a tough spot. maybe start by figuring out what your passions are; dive into activities or hobbies that speak to you without the need to perform for others, just something that brings you joy. sometimes when we're caught up in being different versions of ourselves around different people, we lose sight of what genuinely makes us happy.. and about people not choosing you, it's worth remembering that quality over quantity matters. having even one genuine connection where you can be 100% yourself is way more valuable than multiple surface-level ones; don't stress too much about pleasing everyone because those who truly matter will accept you for who you are. life's too short to keep playing a part in someone else's script.

GreatKhakiWoodInkInBrasiliaWithSympathy 17d ago

It sounds like you're caught in a challenging cycle, and I totally get feeling like you're losing yourself by constantly adjusting for others.

HummingNavyWoodAlacrityInLimaWithDespair 16d ago

try putting down whatever masks you're wearing even if it's just for a day and see how it feels, and don't beat yourself up about not finding your "true self" right away; identities aren't static anyway.

MesmerizingKhakiLightningMondegreenInSeoulWithAnger 16d ago

Wow, it sounds like you're tangled up in this performance just to keep everyone happy. Maybe you've conditioned yourself to please others so much that it's hard to remember what makes *you* tick. It's kinda like being a shapeshifter without even realizing what's beneath all those forms. Do you ever feel like there's something inside that's consistently "you" even when you're switching roles? Start with the smallest inklings of what feels genuine: maybe a hobby or a type of music that resonates without needing validation from others. Experimenting with little moments of authenticity could start unraveling that script you're stuck in.