Seeking advice on overcoming fear

Written by
DivineTanLightDeskInEdinburghWithPeace
Published on
Tuesday, 11 August 2026
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The story

I (F25) have this deep rooted belief (supported by unfortunate past experiences) that once new friends begin to know me more and spend more time around me they will quickly lose interest in maintaining our friendship. I believe that they will find me disinteresting and pity me for having nothing going for me in life and it will all end with us growing distant over time until they just disappear and stop talking to me. I have a lot of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. I am sure this contributes heavily to me developing these beliefs and losing multiple friends over time in this exact way over the years. I am very afraid of people getting to know me and asking me questions. I feel exposed in that vulnerability and looked down on after sharing about myself. Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone know how do I overcome this fear? I have a few solid friends, but refuse to talk with them or see them often or share much due to this and struggle to make new friends.

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FrozenPlumLightningVelleityInAmsterdamWithSurprise 3h ago

Sounds like you've got a real case of the self-saboteur blues. Honestly, your mind's playing tricks on you if it makes you think friends vanish like Houdini after knowing who you really are. 🤷‍♂️ It's not exactly rocket science: real friends stick around 'cause they value YOU, quirks and all. Maybe consider throwing yourself into something new, build up some confidence in an area you haven't before? Trust me, when you're passionate about something, it shines through and people notice that more than any silly doubts.