why am i the friend that gets left out??
The story
i swear im not tryin to be dramatic or like make it all about me or whatever but like lately i just feel so invisible around my own friends. like we all in this group chat, right? nd we always been close, since like 8th grade or somethin. but now its like they all hang out without me nd pretend like its no big deal. they post pics together, go to the mall, get food, even do sleepovers nd im just there scrollin my phone like… cool. guess my invite got lost again. nd what hurts the most is that they dont even say anything about it after. no "sorry we forgot to ask u" or "u should come next time!" just silence. nd when i bring it up all i get is “oh it wasn’t really planned” or “it just sorta happened” like girl be fr, stuff dont “just happen” when u got matching outfits in the pic.
maybe it’s me tho. maybe i’m too quiet or weird or not fun enough. i dont got the best clothes or the prettiest hair or the funniest jokes. i try to be there for them always, like i hype them up, i listen when they got problems, i show up to stuff when they do remember to include me. but somehow it always feels like i’m on the outside. like a guest in a group that i used to be part of. like they all moved on nd i’m still here tryna hold on to somethin that ain’t even real anymore. nd then i start thinkin like, was i ever really their friend?? or was i just there, like background noise, someone they talked to when it was convenient but never really mattered to them?
the worst is when i see them laughin all hard in videos together or taggin each other in inside jokes. nd i’m sittin there like… ok cool guess i wasnt there for that moment either. nd i kno its dumb to get upset over social media, but when that’s the only way u find out your friends are hangin without u, it kinda stings different. nd then when i try to act like it dont bother me, they act like nothin happened. like we still tight. but it don’t feel tight. it feels fake. it feels like i’m holdin onto old memories while they makin new ones without me in it.
i been tryna figure out if i did something wrong. did i say something? act weird? maybe i’m annoying and no one wanna say it. maybe i’m just not enough for them anymore. nd it messes with my head fr. makes me scared to reach out first cuz what if they’re just being polite when they reply? what if they hang out again nd just don’t say anything bc they dont wanna deal with me bein upset? i hate feelin like i’m too much and not enough at the same time. nd the thing is i love them. i really do. they were like sisters to me. but lately i dont even recognize our friendship.
it makes me wanna pull away, like maybe if i stop trying so hard they’ll notice. but what if they dont? what if i stop texting nd no one even checks on me? what if i disappear nd it dont even matter? that’s what scares me the most. not being missed. being so easy to replace that my absence feels like peace instead of pain to them. nd i know that sounds heavy but its how i feel. i used to laugh with them every single day, we shared secrets, cried together, planned our futures. now it’s just awkward convos nd quick replies. nd me, watching from the sidelines.
so yeah, i dont kno why i’m the friend that gets left out. maybe i’m just not the kind of person people wanna keep around. maybe i care too much, feel too deep, talk too soft. but it hurts. it hurts more than i can say. nd i wish someone would just tell me the truth instead of slowly pushing me away like i wouldn’t notice. bc i did. i noticed everything. every missed invite. every picture i wasn’t in. every laugh that didn’t include me. i saw it all. nd even if i smile and act like i’m okay, i’m not. i’m really not.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hey there, I gotta say, I'm kinda scratching my head here 🤔 I mean, it's tough, but isn't it a bit heavy to put all the blame on your friends? It's like you're convinced they’re out to exclude you on purpose, and I'm wondering if maybe there's a side to them you're not seeing, ya know? When you're feeling invisible, it's easy to assume the worst, but maybe they're just caught up in their own lives or thinking you’re busy with yours I don’t know, it seems a little excessive to assume they’re all in cahoots against you like a conspiracy or something, right? It's just as likely that everyone is just vibing and not really noticing what you're going through so maybe it's worth chatting with them before jumping to conclusions it might be that they just need a little reminder that you wanna be in the loop not saying it’s right but maybe not totally malicious, ya dig?
I totally get where you're coming from with feeling left out by your friends. It's like you're experiencing what some sociologists might call a "social drift," where close relationships start feeling distant over time. I went through something similar back in high school, and it felt like every gathering was a reminder of my absence. But I've come to believe in the power of what Brené Brown calls "clear is kind." Having an open conversation with them could shift the dynamics. When I spoke up about my feelings, turns out my friends just assumed I was busy and didn't realize I felt excluded. It's all about perspective, right? You've shared so much history with them, and that foundation might still be strong. There's always hope that things can improve with a little honest communication.
Remember, sometimes people are simply unaware of how their actions impact others!!! 😊
Honestly, I feel you, and it's so messed up. It's like you're dealing with the social equivalent of being ghosted—but worse—because they're right there in front of you, acting like everything is still fine. I went through this crap too, and it’s like Sartre said: hell is other people. Seriously, it's like they’ve got no clue how to maintain interpersonal relationships unless you’re right in front of them, constantly waving your hands for attention.
When I had a similar experience, it was like they were playing some game where I’m always the loser. You deserve way better than being sidelined by people who act like they're center stage and can't see the wreckage they're causing with their ignorance. And you gotta wonder if they’re even capable of understanding the concept of emotional intelligence.
You've invested so much into this friendship, and they're just out here benching you. It’s infuriating—and honestly, a little pathetic on their part. Make sure you remember that their inability to see your worth doesn't diminish it at all.
hey i get that you're feelin left out but it's not always what it seems maybe they're just busy with their own lives 🕒 people sometimes aren't great at interpersonal communication especially when they're juggling so much you gotta wonder if assuming the worst is really the best option; when i felt ignored by friends it turned out to be a misunderstanding it's tough but maybe reach out directly before assuming malice there might be more to the situation than meets the eye 😊