Why do i feel like people don't like me?
The story
I can't be the only one who feels like an outsider, can I??? Since moving to this new city for my job just under a month ago, I've felt nothing but invisible. Maybe it's paranoia, but every time I try to join in on conversations at work, it seems like everyone is already entrenched in their own social circles. You'd think people would be open to new friends... Who knows?? My previous job wasn't exactly a social paradise either, yet over time I found my groove. Here? Uh... yeah right.
It could be that I'm reading too much into things; or maybe people's cool reception to me really does reflect something more sinister. Every time someone walks past without a nod or acknowledges my presence only in passing (while talking to someone else), I question whether I'm indeed part of the office wallpaper... blending into the background unnoticed! How did it come to this?!!
What's even worse is that these doubts then bleed into everything outside of the workplace too... It's not as if life has suddenly become some sort of horror show, yet social interactions feel so scripted and empty here(!) There are endless opportunities to socialize with meetups listed everywhere (postings for clubs, events says here: "Everybody Welcome!").....but how true CAN THAT BE when reality clearly shows otherwise??? Just ironic nonsense!!!!!!
Trying not set expectations might help this situation...yet giving up isn't an option either? So where does that leave me?? I've read countless articles about 'making connections'---all basically say put yourself out there blahblah---yet none ever truly explain how NOT TO FEEL THIS!
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Points of view
You know, it's tough when you land in a new place and everything feels like some kind of weird play you're not cast in. I totally get that feeling of being the outsider. In my previous job, everyone seemed to have had their lunch buddies from day one; it felt like they didn't even notice I was there till months later. Sometimes I think it takes just that one real conversation to flip things around... but who has the patience for all those awkward small talk moments? It's so cliché but maybe starting small, like lunch with one person or joining a team activity where things are more casual, can help (or not who knows??). But it's still tough not having connections click right away... Feels more like luck than anything else sometimes.
I totally get it. Moving somewhere new can make you feel incredibly isolated especially when workplaces have cliques formed long before your arrival. When I relocated last year for a fresh start I faced similar vibes at my office. What worked eventually was being proactive during team activities: offering contributions even when it felt awkward at first definitely chipped away those rigid walls slowly but surely.
That's encouraging! Thanks for sharing.