so, i've been attending this DBT group therapy for a while now. It's meant to help with emotional regulation and all that jazz. i'm starting to see some changes like it's not like i'm stuck in quicksand anymore but they're small. And here I am feeling frustrated because every time we meet it seems like everyone else is leaping ahead while I'm just taking baby steps. When we gather, usually there's a lot of sharing about progress or breakthroughs and I'm torn between being really happy for them and wondering what's wrong with me.

it's strange because logically i know everyone moves at their own pace but it's tough not to constantly compare myself. Especially when someone does something I haven't even thought of trying yet. you start questioning why you're not at that level. then the whole self-doubt creeps in without mercy, making me feel inadequate because come on shouldn't I be celebrating too? It feels like I'm missing out on some secret that everyone's clued into except me.

the pressure is undeniable. Maybe I'm putting more on myself than anyone else ever would but it's hard to shake off that internal voice whispering: 'catch up already.' i worry that these feelings are holding back my progress even further or leaning into negativity instead of focusing on those little wins no matter how minor they might seem in comparison.

Sometimes after a session when driving back home alone in my car I reflect on what was discussed which bits resonated most deeply versus parts leaving me baffled overnight until clarity arrives unexpectedly days later just maybe I need to give myself some slack take pride in any improvement however slight rather than fixate solely over how far others have advanced beyond me.

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