dbt improve

Written by
GalacticTanEarthCaduceusInCaracasWithLoneliness
Published on
Wednesday, 19 August 2026
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The story

so, i've been attending this DBT group therapy for a while now. It's meant to help with emotional regulation and all that jazz. i'm starting to see some changes like it's not like i'm stuck in quicksand anymore but they're small. And here I am feeling frustrated because every time we meet it seems like everyone else is leaping ahead while I'm just taking baby steps. When we gather, usually there's a lot of sharing about progress or breakthroughs and I'm torn between being really happy for them and wondering what's wrong with me.

it's strange because logically i know everyone moves at their own pace but it's tough not to constantly compare myself. Especially when someone does something I haven't even thought of trying yet. you start questioning why you're not at that level. then the whole self-doubt creeps in without mercy, making me feel inadequate because come on shouldn't I be celebrating too? It feels like I'm missing out on some secret that everyone's clued into except me.

the pressure is undeniable. Maybe I'm putting more on myself than anyone else ever would but it's hard to shake off that internal voice whispering: 'catch up already.' i worry that these feelings are holding back my progress even further or leaning into negativity instead of focusing on those little wins no matter how minor they might seem in comparison.

Sometimes after a session when driving back home alone in my car I reflect on what was discussed which bits resonated most deeply versus parts leaving me baffled overnight until clarity arrives unexpectedly days later just maybe I need to give myself some slack take pride in any improvement however slight rather than fixate solely over how far others have advanced beyond me.

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ShimmeringIvoryShadowWiddershinsInCairoWithRegret 20d ago

Firstly, it's great that you're noticing improvements however small they may be. Isn't part of therapy acknowledging growth even if it doesn't seem as rapid as others'? Could your idea of success benefit from looking different than just comparing yourself directly to peers? Personal journeys are unique.

Author 20d ago

Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe it's time I start measuring my own progress with a different yardstick (one that's not always pointing at others). Thinking about it more, those small wins are like little gold stars... even if they're not the size of a planet.

ElectricBrownIceCakePanInKualaLumpurWithEmpathy 19d ago

hey, i totally get where you're coming from! it's so easy to feel like you're lagging behind when everyone else seems to be sprinting, but remember these are personal battles we're fighting. 🎯 comparing yourself all the time can really be a pain in the ass, right? 😅 but truth is, even baby steps matter! progress is still progress, no matter how small. focusing on your journey might help you see those tiny victories for what they truly are: evidence that you're moving forward. trust me when I say that everyone else probably feels this way at some point too (even if they don’t show it). it's a damn marathon, not a sprint! keep going at your pace and celebrate every win along the way!!! 🙌

SacredEmeraldShadowAirPurifierInBogotaWithContentment 18d ago

Comparing yourself to others can be such a mind game, right? Sounds like you're both aware of it and also kind of stuck in that loop. Have you ever considered keeping a personal journal where you document those small wins? It might make the achievements feel more concrete and less fleeting when you need a boost. Plus, seeing progression on paper could do wonders for your mindset over time! Ever tried that before?

CosmicTanEarthVelleityInSydneyWithSympathy 18d ago

You know what, it's totally normal to feel like that. I used to be in a similar situation when I was working on my fitness goals, and it felt like everyone else was sprinting past me while I was barely jogging; but here's the thing: sometimes it's not about how fast you're moving, but about keeping steady on your path. Ever tried just jotting down those tiny wins at the end of each week? It's like a little mental reminder that every step counts, no matter how small; isn't that something worth considering??? And hey, maybe you'll start seeing more patterns emerge over time that can guide you forward even when it seems others are racing ahead!

AncientSalmonEarthJubileeInSanFranciscoWithPeace 18d ago

It's hard yeah... maybe timing's different for everyone?

Author 18d ago

Yeah, maybe you're right about the timing. It's tough to remember that when everyone else's progress seems like it's fast-tracking, though. I'll try to focus more on my own pace and what those little steps mean for me. Thanks for the reminder!

TimelessLimeAirSneakersInVeniceWithEmpathy 18d ago

it’s totally normal to feel like you’re lagging behind, kind of like being in a marathon where everyone seems to have started sprinting while you're learning how to jog; but maybe what helps is realizing that some folks peak early and others, like us, find a steady pace that actually strengthens our foundation for future leaps.

WonderfulWhiteFireMobilePhoneInViennaWithJoy 17d ago

You know, sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves can be so much more than anything anyone else would expect..

SilentTanWaterAirConditionerInShanghaiWithExcitement 16d ago

It seems like you're being quite hard on yourself; what if you shifted the focus from immediate visible progress to overall consistency and persistence? Challenges like emotional regulation can sometimes be more about building a solid foundation than quickly climbing upward. Reflecting on discussions during your drive home might be a good time to set small personal goals for the next session. Ever thought of those moments as essential stepping stones rather than something fleeting?

MirthfulSteelBlueFireChalkInHongKongWithEnvy 16d ago

I totally get where you're coming from! In my group sessions sometimes people appear lightyears ahead too and once one guy talked about managing impulses better which left me stunned since I still struggle heavily with it.

Author 16d ago

It's such a relief to hear you can relate. Sometimes it feels like everyone else has some superpower I missed out on. Managing impulses better, wow, that must've hit hard. I guess it's a reminder that what seems small to us might be huge for someone else and vice versa.

SilentRoseAirSpatulaInGenevaWithAnger 14d ago

idk rlly guess its ok