why do i feel?
The story
lately, it feels like I’m just going through life and BAM! emotions hit me like a freight train. one minute I’m pondering what pasta to whip up for dinner, and the next I’m drowning in this tidal wave of sadness or anxiety. it’s seriously annoying. you’d think there’d be some trigger, right? but nope, it’s like my brain is just throwing a random emotional party without inviting me.
I was listening to this podcast the other day where they dropped the term "emotional dysregulation" like it’s supposed to clear everything up. like, great, now I have a fancy name for my brain’s chaos. feels like my mind is playing a twisted game, poking at my feelings for fun. I tried going for a walk and chatting with friends about it, but they looked at me like I was speaking a different language or something.
professionals might say it’s burnout or stress manifesting in bizarre ways. whatever they want to label it, it’s super frustrating not knowing why I’m caught in this whirlwind of confusion. sometimes I question if I’m even functioning properly. no big life changes, no drama, just me feeling everything way too intensely.
the other day (don’t laugh) I thought I’d get all philosophical and read Nietzsche’s 'Beyond Good and Evil' because, you know, classic literature is supposed to chill you out. but then I just ended up overthinking everything. like why do I feel like my emotions are on a wild reality show? if there’s some sciencey explanation lurking in research papers, somebody please point me to it because I’m not here for surprise emotional guests crashing my party!
