Why do I keep this weird thought?
The story
Today at therapy I had this insight about my view of happiness and I found out that I think that I don’t deserve too much happiness. But it’s not true because I’m a human being just like the rest and I do deserve good things in life, I’m not talking about material stuff I’m talking about experiences. This insight was part of an experience that I had this week while I was at one of my swimming lessons, a classmate asked me how I was feeling after the class and I said “excellent” because I truly mean it but then I felt a little bit I don’t know how to explained it, not sad but like cautious of this, like dont brag about your happiness when it wasn’t my idea to be honest. Or maybe I’m afraid to surrender to joy and experience more of it. Lately life has been great, I had big news at work and once again I’m truly honored to be surrounded by my friends and my family, I’m seeing them with compassion as human beings not only as the role of father or mother. So I don’t know, maybe it’s this mechanism of defense with pain I don’t know. But to be honest I’m fucking proud of how I’m building my life, I’m building a true sense of inner love within myself and now if I’m doing exercise it’s to prove myself that I can feel better and with more energy, I’m not obsessed anymore with number scales. And I’m fucking proud of other things, like doing things to keep growing and be more free. I don’t have this urge to impress anyone and I don’t give a fuck about external validation neither. And to be honest I think that I’m not a dramatic person, my old narrative makes me believe that but I can be a rational person, sensitive, creative and smart.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
You know, it kinda sounds like you're overthinking this whole happiness thing!!
Yeah but how can I cope with it?
I get it, sometimes when I'm too happy for a while, I start feeling like something bad might happen soon... Kind of like I'm jinxing myself by enjoying things too much. One time, I got a promotion and worried for weeks about what could go wrong instead of just celebrating it. Maybe it's just about letting yourself feel the good stuff without overanalyzing it?
yo, what you’re saying resonates with me; I’ve definitely been there, where it feels strange to fully embrace happiness without second-guessing it...
i totally get it tho, I used to feel like that too. after acing a test at school once, i felt weirdly guilty for being happy about it, like i didn't deserve it or something.
same here! why do we do that?
And how did you get over it?
i tried to remind myself that it's okay to celebrate my achievements... (yeah, looks stupid but worked for me!) i also made a point to recognize that everyone deserves happiness and success, including me: it helped to talk it out with friends who encouraged me to let go of the guilt...
sounds like you're really making some solid progress there! sometimes it's hard to shake off those old beliefs about what we deserve and it can take time. this idea of feeling cautious about happiness, do you think it's more about not wanting to jinx it or just getting used to a new normal? either way, it's pretty inspiring how you're working on embracing the good things coming your way while also acknowledging growth in areas like self-love and exercise without being tied down by external pressures. keep going on this path!
i see where you're coming from and it's great that you're having these insights; maybe this feeling of being "cautious" about happiness is just part of growing into the good stuff that life's offering you. you know, we often think we only deserve so much, but why not more? 🤔 sounds like you've been doing some cool work on self-love and recognizing relationships for what they truly are (rather than fixed roles). i need to ask, do you think this hesitance could be a lingering fear of losing what's going well right now? it doesn't seem uncommon to have those defensive mechanisms popping up when things start looking up...
What do you mean with fixed roles? And yeah, deep down I’m afraid of not being good enough at my job nor my studies, I don’t know
i meant about seeing people in your life beyond just their labels (like "father" or "mother") and appreciating them as individuals with their own stories. as for feeling afraid of not being good enough, it's totally normal to have those doubts hit you sometimes. just remember you're doing some really good work on yourself and that counts for a lot.
So let me get this straight, you've figured out you deserve happiness like the rest of us mere mortals, but still feel weird about it?
wow, that sounds like a major breakthrough! it's so brave of you to share and confront those deep-seated beliefs about happiness. it's incredible how little moments like a convo after swimming can spark such meaningful insights; reminds me of when I realized during a quiet morning coffee that I'd been sabotaging my own sense of peace. your journey toward self-love and authenticity is seriously inspiring, especially the way you're embracing life without needing anyone's approval. keep embracing those victories, big or small, because they’re truly yours! 😊
I remember when I first realized that I shouldn't downplay my own happiness. It was during a trip I took with some friends. We had this amazing day and while everyone was talking about how great it was, I almost didn't want to say anything positive because I thought maybe they'd think I'm bragging or something. Over time I've learned it's okay to express joy without feeling bad.
yo, it's fascinating how those little insights can hit us at the most unexpected moments, right? it sounds like you've been really introspective and honest with yourself lately, which is impressive; have you thought about where that belief that you don't deserve happiness might have come from originally? sometimes it's just conditioning or past experiences sneaking in... i think you'll find more clarity as you keep exploring this journey.
sounds like you're on a path of self-awareness and growth, which is commendable. do you think this cautiousness towards happiness might be linked to past experiences where joy was followed by disappointment? it's fascinating how we sometimes put limits on our own happiness without realizing it.
Past experiences?
could be. sometimes our brains link happiness with fear of losing it based on past moments. it's kind of like a protective measure, you know? have there been times before when good moments didn't last or were interrupted by something unexpected?
Last year while I was at an awesome company and it didn’t last because I started to take for granted many things, I’m not putting myself in the position of not taking accountability of my own actions anymore. Another time? Maybe when I was a little kid some peaceful moments were unpredictable so maybe it’s kinda related to it I guess. I mean I never saw something agressive at home but there was a lot of judgement and care and maybe some harsh comments.
it makes sense that those past experiences could shape how you approach happiness now. sounds like you're becoming more aware of those patterns, though, which is a big step. do you find that being mindful of this cautiousness helps in balancing your emotions?
I think it does to be honest, I think that I’m in a good state of mind but I can improve it better, I mean we’re always evolving and to be honest I think that there were a lot of moments where I was doing great and then those experiences were interrupted, at work I have some experiences, were everything was going more than well and then something happened like once again taking things for granted and not taking good care of my duties but in my new job I’m trying to not bring old emotions to new experiences because I can handle better making mistakes and frustration and at the end a job is merely a job, right? It’s not my identity. So even if it everything falls out of place I’ll be ok but now I’m more than sure that I can do it better and I will
not letting old emotions affect new experiences is huge! and yeah, understanding that your job isn't your identity can really take the pressure off... it's great to hear you're feeling more sure of yourself!!
I still have a lot of doubts and insecurities but they don’t paralyze me
maybe it's not about deserving happiness or not, but just letting yourself feel it without any strings attached; sometimes we over-complicate stuff in our heads when all that's needed is to ride the wave a little, enjoy what life throws at us and see where it goes...your mind sounds like it's in a good place now, though, with all that reflection and growth happening.
Maybe it’s because I’m pretty old now
haha, maybe they call it being "wise," right? but seriously, age doesn't mean you stop growing or feeling good stuff. sometimes getting older just gives you a better perspective on what really matters and how to enjoy it all without the drama. sounds like you're doing that!
I’m seeing myself with a lot of compassion now for my past experiences
I can understand where you're coming from but I do think it's important not to be too cautious. Embracing happiness doesn't necessarily mean you're bragging or making others feel bad.
It's interesting how you've linked your realizations about happiness to small interactions, like the one at swimming. The way you're peeling back those layers of feeling undeserving, it's like dismantling an old script bit by bit. Reminds me of when I started viewing exercise not as a punishment but as a celebration of what my body can do; it totally flipped my mindset! You're right about deserving experiences and connections without needing to prove anything. Just being comfortable with that sense of "excellent" is powerful in itself.
At this point of my life I’m truly at peace and I’m not here to prove anything at anyone
I’m not at peace, I mean, I can handle shit better, it’s not easy but I’m trying
I feel you, it's not about being at peace but managing to ride the waves better. You're doing that step by step and it matters. Progress isn't always pretty, but it's still progress!
yea i know what u mean but sometimes its hard cuz life throws so much at ya and u kinda get used to being careful with ur feelings or whatever so even when things are good ur like wait what if im getting too comfortable but we should def let go more often
It's interesting how you mention being cautious about happiness. I've definitely been there, feeling like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, y'know? Sometimes it feels safer to keep a lid on joy so we don't jinx it or something. But maybe life is kinda just about letting those happy moments be as big as they are without shrinking them down. I think it's rad that you're proud of building your life up and ditching that need for validation; that's some real growth right there!
I’m regulating my nervous system better lmfao
It's funny how we sometimes hold back from our own happiness as if it's a limited resource. Maybe shifting perspective can help. I used to worry about expressing too much joy, thinking it might jinx things; but I've realized that holding back doesn't actually protect us from future disappointment. Honestly, letting myself fully enjoy and appreciate the good moments has made them all the more worthwhile. Keep embracing those positive experiences, they make life's tapestry richer anyway 😊
hmmm idk honestly, feeling happy shouldn't automatically make you worry. other people's reactions aren't really your responsibility, right?
I don’t know something similar happened today I was having an awesome day at work but I felt like I don’t know like maybe it was too easy and I was needing to be more productive, I don’t like that feeling but I can handle it I mean
just enjoy the ride man!