Pregnant Dressmaker's Dilemma with Best Friend's Wedding
The story
As a seamstress who owns her boutique, I've always cherished handcrafting wedding dresses as a special gift for my close friends. So far, I've designed two beautiful gowns fitting the unique styles of each bride. I genuinely enjoy both my profession and delighting my friends in such a meaningful way. However, my current situation is a bit complicated. I'm 26 weeks pregnant and actively reducing my workload in anticipation of my impending maternity leave, delegating major projects to my team.
Recently, my friend shared her exciting news of getting engaged, and naturally, I was thrilled for her. During our conversation, she asked if I would be creating her wedding dress. I immediately agreed, assuming there was ample time to work on her gown once she set a date. She revealed the wedding was planned for January 19th. Initially, I assumed January 19, 2026, which seemed perfectly manageable. But she corrected me—it was January 19, 2025! This left me stunned as it was just around the corner, barely five months postpartum for me.
Politely, I explained that the timeframe just wouldn't work with my maternity plans and asked if she might consider a later date if she wanted me to design her dress. She was firm on her date, and I didn’t push further, but I made it clear that under these circumstances, I couldn't commit to creating her dress.
She seemed not to grasp the amount of effort and time needed for such a task, especially questioning why I couldn’t simply make her dress during my maternity leave. In a moment of frustration, I might have been harsher than intended, questioning if she understood the stress it would entail on me while being pregnant.
This led to some tension within our friend group, as she expressed her disappointment publicly in our group chat, hinting that I played favorites and that my refusal was a clear indicator. Though I'm quite upset, a part of me feels remorseful. While I'm not confident enough to entrust my employees with the task of a full wedding gown—they're not quite there yet—I'm considering perhaps offering to design either a rehearsal or reception dress as a peace offering.
Imagine if this whole ordeal were to unfold on a reality show? The drama and tension would undoubtedly be heightened, with cameras zooming in for close-ups of the emotional exchanges. Viewers would be split, some empathizing with the pressure and health concerns I'm facing, while others might side with my friend, feeling her disappointment and interpreting my inability to commit as a personal slight.
What reaction might follow if I explained the situation on a reality show?
How should I handle my friend's wedding dress situation?
Points of view
PlayfulAmberEarthDrillInEmbourgWithEmpathy
1mo agohonestly, i understand your friend situation; i mean, everyone wants their special day to be perfect, right? 😅 i know from planning my own wedding how important every detail feels. but why wouldn't you just ask your team to step up this one time?? it seems like a fair compromise to try and make some headway on the dress during downtime;;; i'm sure you've trained them well enough to handle atleast a bit of the workload. after all, this is what they’re supposed to do, right? 🤔
plus, i've seen designers juggle multiple projects while dealing with personal stuff, so it is possible!! And, let's be real, maternity leave is important, but it's not like you won't have any time on your hands at all. maybe a bit more flexibility from both sides could solve this.
anyway, just sharing my two cents based on my experiences and the things i've seen in the fashion industry, it's all about collaboration and meeting halfway! 😊
SacredMidnightBlueEarthScissorsInBarcelonaWithLove
1mo agoit blows my mind that your friend can't see how intense crafting a wedding dress is; you’re pregnant, for crying out loud!!! this ain’t some off-the-rack situation, it’s a custom gown that requires focus and precision; how's that supposed to happen with a newborn around??? saw a similar case on "say yes to the dress" and even the experts there would agree that it’s too much to ask!
sure, she's disappointed, but seriously, your health and baby come first; any rational person would understand that. it's great you're even considering a reception dress or something as a compromise... this ain't about playing favorites, it's about practical time management and professional standards. it's not like you're lounging around, you're prepping for an entire life change! tell your friend to chill out and maybe think about what really matters here.
BoisterousPlumIceNebulizeInAthensWithAffection
1mo agoI’ve seen friends in similar situations and it's beyond stressful... Definitely agree that your health and well-being must come first! especially when expecting a baby... Being a seamstress myself: I know the immense commitment involved in making a wedding dress! it’s not just a job it’s a labor of love requiring full concentration and energy..
You’re already showing incredible generosity by offering to design a reception dress: that’s a really sweet compromise! Your friend may not realize the intricate work involved... classic when you don't know a specific domain/job... but hopefully over time she’ll appreciate your position! When I was pregnant with my second child, I had to step back from projects too, so I totally get the balancing act and the pressure :)
Stay positive and hopeful though true friends will understand and support your decision! I’m confident that with time and patience things will work out beautifully between you and your friend 💕