IS THIS OKAY? in need of genuine opinions

Hey there, thank you so much for taking your time to read this, please do share your opinions on this post, thank you so much!

I am an engineering student who's just finished the 2nd semester. I have OCD and trying to control it is very difficult and obviously has caused problems. I started having issues with it in high school, my academics were very much affected because of it. Yeah, so after high school I decided to take engineering for my UG. I may seem very childish for having such feelings but college was DIFFICULT, I am very well aware that college is HARD, my OCD made it difficult for me to handle of what was considered normal to other students (I am sure other students have their own problems so, lets keep that in mind). I couldn't make friends throughout both the semesters because of the times I reacted to certain situations emotionally (such as mood swings, yelling at someone) which made others feel uncomfortable around me. I would like to state that during that period my medication changed very often and I think that could be my reason of being an emotional mess. I noticed my classmates avoiding me, which is fair. But by then I caused so much attention that everyone in the college knew something was wrong with me. I tried explaining the stuff along with my father only to make it worse(I am very grateful to have such a father who was doing his very best to support his child) I became annoying to everyone. Exams happened, those were terrible times for me (everyday was, but this was more) I was very anxious and I think i fainted 3 times during the 2nd sem. My academics were awful, I was basically in the guilt of shame but I also couldn't let myself feel anything because of my compulsions. I know that my parents never deserved to have a kid like myself, I am so sorry. At home I often argued with everyone over silly things it made me feel very clear that I am the problem and I did not know how to regulate my emotions, my parents were concerned about the amount of medication I was taking and making everyone's life a living hell just because of my delusional intrusive thoughts. My family is doing their very best to deal with me, I am really grateful that they care about me in their own way, they are also handling the finances for my need. I know that I am a shitty person. After the end of the 2nd semester exams I couldn't handle the pressure of me being so very pathetic at everything that I decided to take a year long break because EVERYTHING was so bad. I am sorry for that shitty line. I told my parents that I was NOT going to drop out from college but take a break instead and obviously that hurt them a lot because they have spent so much on me and these are the repercussions for their good deeds. I fought with them and they decided to give up on me. As of now I am not going to the college because of my mental health, but it just hurts so much when the people you love tell you that all these years you were just pretending to get attention. I am also in the wrong and I feel terrible for everyone, my parents didn't deserve to have such a cowardly child. I just wanna know if I am in a condition to actually go to college because WHY DOES EVERYTHING FEEL LIKE SHIT, or is it me that's forcing myself into thinking stuff?

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