Thanksgiving Menu Drama: No Turkey, Big Trouble?
The story
Last year, during the Thanksgiving season, my mom announced that the holiday would also serve as a reunion for her extensive family. She's one of many siblings, and the guest count hit 53 confirmed attendees.
The gathering was set at my mom's place. Luckily, her brother lives right next door, giving us the advantage of using two kitchens. She tasked me with devising the menu, a challenge I accepted but soon realized the complexity of. Considering the dietary restrictions alone was daunting. Our family is Jewish with varying degrees of kosher observance, half are vegetarian or vegan, some have allergies, three suffer from Celiac's disease, and a handful adhere to a keto diet. Plus, there's always a mix of picky children and adventurous adults.
After substantial planning, I shared the proposed menu in our family group chat, and the reaction was generally positive, except for a few minor adjustments like the need for a keto-friendly cheesecake and dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets for the finicky younger ones. However, my brother-in-law did not share the enthusiasm. He was notably upset over the absence of turkey from the menu. My suggestion was either to bring a turkey himself or settle for the alternatives provided. He wasn't pleased about the prospect of cooking after a long drive.
This led to a series of complaints via text from him, supported by further encouragement from my sister pushing me to take matters into my own hands and prepare the turkey. In response to continuous pestering, I made a cheeky post in the group chat declaring that he had volunteered to cook the turkey. This only fueled the fire, drawing my mother into the fray, chiding me for not handling the situation more gracefully.
Reflecting on these events, I believe he failed to appreciate the effort it took to plan such a complex menu. Admittedly, my response could have been more tactful. Now, imagine if this scenario unfolded on a reality TV show. The drama would undoubtedly be amplified for entertainment, featuring tense music and close-ups of our frustrated texts. Would the audience see my actions as justified or deem them an overreaction? It’s an intriguing thought as the line between personal grievance and public spectacle blurs in the realm of reality television.
How would viewers react if this were a reality show segment?
How should I handle the Thanksgiving menu issue?
Points of view
CosmicAquaWoodPlantInCairoWithPride
5d agoman, your bro-in-law sounds like a pain !!!!!! 🤦♂️
like seriously, whining about turkey????? gtfoh……. 🤣🤣
honestly, props to u for dealing with that mess, family gatherings can be hell sometimes 😤 like, who cares about the turkey when u got 50+ ppl to feed?!?? i've been there, ppl just don't get it 🙄🙄 my cousin did the same crap last christmas…… up your game bro-in-law, u ain't special……👏👏
what a reality show wreck this would be….. hope ur next thanksgiving is drama-free….. doubtful tho 🤷♀️🦃
SnappyEmeraldShadowPebbleInSydneyWithEnvy
5d agoseems like you might have been a bit harsh on your brother-in-law; turkey is a traditional dish after all. planning the menu for such a large group must have been extremely challenging, no doubt about that, and making sure you meet everyone's dietary needs is commendable. however, his desire for a turkey isn't entirely unreasonable considering it's thanksgiving;
perhaps a more collaborative approach could have resolved the issue without escalating tensions. maybe delegating specific tasks, like asking him to assist with bringing the turkey, might have been a better strategy. overall, managing family expectations, especially with such diverse needs, is never easy, and finding a middle ground is often the best way forward. your efforts were impressive, yet a touch more diplomacy could have gone a long way.
BlazingPeriwinkleShadowKerfuffleInWellingtonWithJoy
5d agosounds like you had a lot on your plate, but i think you might've overreacted with your brother-in-law 😬!!! "thanksgiving without turkey is like a toast without butter" 😅... i get that planning for dietary restrictions is tough and props to you for that, but maybe he really just wanted to stick to tradition? collaborating could have been a better route;
one time, we had a family reunion too, and my cousin insisted on having a specific dish!!! it was annoying, but we worked it out by assigning dishes to different people so no one felt left out 🤷♀️ maybe suggesting for him to bring a pre-cooked turkey or something simple could've avoided the blow-up!!!!!! keeping things smooth in family events is about finding balance and compromise; I think both sides could have handled it better, tbh.
SolarPearlFireTeaTowelInOsakaWithRegret
4d agoI get that planning the menu was tough but your brother-in-law wanting a turkey isn't unreasonable. Thanksgiving without turkey is like "Halloween without candy" after all 🤷♂️. Balancing dietary restrictions is no easy feat but giving him an option to bring a pre-cooked turkey might have been smoother.
Family gatherings can be complex trust me, I've been there. My uncle threw a fit over not having "his special gravy" at one holiday. Compromise is key, and maybe handling it with a touch more flexibility would have avoided the drama. Both sides could have shown more understanding.