Angry cry

just got back from one of those annoying meetings where literally no one gave a damn about what i had to say. ugh! i could feel the frustration boiling over and caught myself on the verge of an angry cry. it's so crazy, especially when i usually pride myself on having my emotions in check. you know how it feels when you're tossing out suggestions like free candy at a parade and they just ignore you like your ideas are pure nonsense? gripping my pen tightly as if it was my only ally, wishing it could jab some sense into their thick heads. even a sarcastic comment might have lightened the mood or made them realize... but nope! honestly, i've always believed in keeping cool at work, minding my energy and all. but today? oh boy, that evaporated fast. they talk about fostering collaborative environments, but seriously? sometimes i'm left wondering if having a bit more patience is even worth cultivating.

i watched as they nodded along, pretending to engage while their minds were obviously elsewhere. it’s like talking to a wall, except the wall is more responsive. my ideas felt like they were bouncing off a soundproof barrier; it was disheartening. i thought maybe if i dressed up my suggestions with some enthusiasm, they'd spark interest, but that didn't happen. instead, it just felt like i was shouting into the void. i can’t be the only one who feels this way, right? sometimes, i think about how exhausting it is to keep pushing for recognition when the same old routine keeps playing out. if being treated as invisible was part of "team-playing," i’d win an award. anyway, gonna take a breather and hopefully bounce back with less steam coming out of my ears.

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