i can't believe i'm writing this but i just have to get it out there. for the past six months, i've been sending out job applications like crazy. over a hundred of them! and guess what? all i've got in return are rejections or complete silence!! it's starting to feel like a never-ending cycle of disappointment and i'm honestly questioning my skills and self-worth now... watching my friends and peers land positions while i'm stuck here feels like salt on the wound. seriously, am i missing something? "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results," right? that's literally how it feels at this point.

every time i apply somewhere, i think: maybe this is it!!! but nope, another rejection. it's gotten to the point where opening my email makes my heart race only for it to sink when i see yet another "thank you for your application" message that goes nowhere. it's hard not to feel down when everything seems so bleak. who wouldn't be depressed after all this?? you know that saying about beating a dead horse? that's what this job hunt feels like.

and can we talk about how everyone else seems to be moving forward while i'm firmly planted in one spot?? "comparison is the thief of joy," they say (thanks a lot, Theodore Roosevelt). easier said than done though!!! watching others around me succeed while i'm barely treading water messes with your head. sometimes i wonder if i'll ever catch a break or if i'll just keep facing closed doors...

oh, btw... fuuuuuuuuuck AI... seriously

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