The need for a team was urgent for me.
The story
I joined a group of women who work as communicators within the system. I feel somewhat exhausted by the task—a role I took on because one of the women wanted me by her side. I think she wanted someone to share her conversations and experiences with, so she wouldn’t feel alone among a group of women whose lives are quite different from her own. They don’t live by exceptions, but rather by the conventional markers of success—which isn’t the case for her. She felt I could understand her, and for some time, she had been urging me to join, to find a way to be part of the group. I did want to join, but I needed some support—I needed to know that my own space would be respected. As it turned out, the others were perfectly respectful; they weren’t the type to "sell me out" to the system, despite how it might have initially appeared.
My previous boss was, frankly, useless. He was a "planner"—the kind of person who tries, at all costs, to rig everything in his favor to ensure things don’t turn out poorly. He was obsessed with keeping total control. The woman who leads this new group is different; she is genuinely focused on coordination—operating through order and discipline—even amidst the inherent unpredictability of communication work, which is essentially what this group is all about. I’ve noticed that my former boss—whose job was, in theory, coordination—didn’t actually coordinate anything. He was solely fixated on achieving specific results, no matter what. This approach was rushed and driven by a "win at all costs" mentality, leaving many loose ends—which is certainly not how a proper planner should operate, though it seems to be his natural tendency. It’s curious: the leader of that group focuses on organization—even though her ultimate goal is to deliver specific projects and results, she is primarily concerned with maintaining an orderly, stable, and harmonious environment. My own boss, by contrast, focuses on shaping the environment to suit his own terms—to align with his own foundation.
Initially, my boss overshadowed her—largely because of the woman who has since become my friend, my companion, my kindred spirit, my "Oompa Loompa." She operated strictly by the book, prioritizing stability and defending established norms rather than taking direct, concrete action. That, however, was my boss’s domain; he thrived on ambiguity and manipulated the rules to his advantage—often using social retaliation as a tool—all to gain control over his surroundings. He viewed strict adherence to rules as a liability—a potential obstacle that could derail his plans. In fact, his egocentric way of operating often leads to exactly the kind of corruption that undermines his own objectives; he is constantly preoccupied with preventing his own downfall. Yet, her approach has its own pitfalls: a blind reliance on rules can also serve as a form of self-isolation—a way to retreat into one’s own sphere. While she may be well-supported, the law doesn’t cover every situation; in areas where things can continue to function without strict oversight, she chooses independence—opting for a less restrictive approach, which is perhaps a pragmatic response to the instability of the present day. I effectively have a new boss—or rather, I’m now part of a different professional group—and I feel quite comfortable with this change. It’s been a successful transition; I’m now working under a professional who genuinely cares about the team’s working environment and stays up to date in their field. While I might not always be fully convinced by the actual work they produce, there is at least a clear focus on achieving results—though, importantly, that isn’t the only thing that matters. My previous boss, by contrast, would go so far as to restrict us, keeping us under his thumb just to suit his own temperament and manage his own nerves. None of us have any interest in living under the shadow of his anxieties anymore; in fact, it seems he’s looking to move on to somewhere else where he might be accepted. He’s someone who cares only about his image—about how he’s perceived—and uses that to exert pressure. He has no concept of trust; he’s only interested in getting people to do things. Personally, he’s the worst project manager I’ve ever known—he’s obsessed with shaping the world to his own liking, or at least the parts he can control, all while ensuring that, above all, the work gets done.
I understand now why he speaks the way he does, but his approach is entirely devoid of any real method. He seems completely incapable of handling the actual substance of the work, yet he’s always quick to take the credit and ensure all eyes are on him. My new manager, on the other hand, is a pleasure to work with. She makes a conscious effort to establish order and implement a structured approach; it’s clear that she thinks carefully about how she communicates with others and how to truly be a part of the team.
My previous boss operated by making us all keep pace with him, much like a child would. He was an incredibly wretched, miserable person—someone I never want to hear from again. He seems to maintain this persona intentionally; it’s how he manages his work and keeps things from spiraling out of control. When things do go wrong, he tends to push everyone away—it’s simply his nature. My current boss, by contrast, seeks to foster connection; she makes an effort to be present, respects the established terms, and strives for a degree of empathy and genuine regard for others. She focuses on the process and on safeguarding the working conditions. While she is certainly results-oriented, I do notice a certain level of detachment—perhaps a fear of being overwhelmed by the situation, given that managing the public is, in itself, an impossible task—a reality that is generally understood. My former boss, however, operated differently; his sole focus was on getting things done. Since his work wasn’t directly tied to the public—being more administrative in nature—he took an extreme approach, which ultimately led to the neglect and deterioration of the necessary resources.
My current boss doesn’t aim for perfection, but rather for sustainability—an approach I find quite sensible. My former boss, on the other hand, was somewhat obsessive about results, to the point where his entire life became defined by his public image—something my current boss avoids. I’m actually glad he blocked me on the social media platform where he shared his personal opinions and views; I never felt I should have been part of that. It crossed the line into matters beyond the professional sphere, and I didn’t like it—it felt as though I were being drawn into a dynamic where I was expected to support him in everything, essentially being used. I feel like part of that group, because I don’t perceive it as being biased in any way—and I think that’s a good thing. I don’t see any excesses here—unlike what happened with my former boss—because the goal, of course, is to ensure order, cooperation, and coordination among everyone. It’s certainly not about people going their own separate ways or ending up isolated from one another.
